Pay the price

Once I finally calmed down and quit crying gerard spoke up.
"Frankie you have to stop hurting yourself like this" he whispered into my hair since he was still holding me.

"What?"

"you can't keep getting hurt. After all you told me I'm guessing those days you came to school beaten and even whipped were because of....the people you-"

"fucked?" I interjected rudely

"meet with is what I was going to say but yes the people you fucked." He said awkwardly.

"Gee I can't stop." I answered truthfully.

"What? Frank what do you mean you can't stop?! Do you like being abused by these people?! They're sick frank!"

"Stop yelling at me!" I screamed.

"I can't stop because I need the money first off and these people can track me down. I'd rather be fucked for money then having them come after me and rape me!" I spat in his face.

"What do you mean they can track you down? They can't really.....can they?"

"It's happened before." I said sadly. "Even If don't mean to ignore customers if I don't respond they get mad and they will come after me. They come after me cause they get scared that I'm some cop or something or that I'll rat them out, so they track me down and hurt me as a warning not to piss them off again."

Gerard didnt speak he just pulled me in closer to his chest and held me.
I heard my phone buzz and sat up instantly.

"You're not really going to answer a client right now are you?"

I bit my lip in thought but I still caved and stood up off him to grab my phone. I returned to the bed and sat next to him this time laying my head on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around me.

"One text is from mikey." I told him. All the others were clients.

"Frank does mikey know?"

"no one does but you." I told him honestly. I mean really why would I tell people unless I wanted to be treated like shit.

"I think we should tell him."

"And I think we shouldn't." I shot back seriously.
"no one else is ever going to know this about me except you, and I expect it to stay that way."

"Frank he should know." he said trying to convince me.

"No Gerard! I don't want him to okay!" I yelled in his face.

"And why not?! Why do I have to be the only one who has to deal with this shit! It's not like I chose to find out!" He yelled back.

"You know what. Your not the one dealing with any shit so I don't want to hear it! You didn't sell your virginity or your life away! You aren't a walking pile of Std's! You have a family and friends and a job that doesn't get you abused! do you really think I like my life!? I'd fucking kill to have a normal life like yours! I'd kill to have my virginity back so I could give it to someone special! I'd kill to have a mom or a dad there for me! And I'd really fucking kill to not have my life controlled by perverts like you!" I screamed right in his face.

"Don't you dare call me a pervert I've done nothing but help you!" He yelled at me standing up.

"Yea help me pay the bills!" I spat back.

"What are you trying to say iero?" He asked through clenched teeth.

"That day I came to school all whipped I was out working a corner that night and I had on a lot of makeup so no one could see the welts or else they wouldn't touch me.
And you know what? I tried to hook up with some guy outside of a bar but he turned me down. Then someone told me 'tough brake' and asked how much I charged.
That fucking person was you gerard! You fucked me for a ridiculous amount of money and then the next day at school you looked like shit!
You knew you fucked a prositute and felt horrible about it. I felt happy. I had enough money for tutition and you didn't even recognize that it was me you hooked up with!"

I looked at gerard whose eyes were basically popping out of his head in shock.

"So really you did choose to get involved in my 'shit' the night you fucked me." I said staring right into his eyes.

He just looked at me then ran out of the apartment.
great.

Notes

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