Pay the price

"Frank are you awake?"

i groaned and rolled over trying to ignore the voice but shot up in pain when my nose hit a pillow.

"Frank what's wrong." A worried gerard rushed out.

"god damn my nose." I hissed

"I'll go get you some ice don't move okay?" He said then went flying down the stairs. I could hear him talking to mikey and quickly realized that I was in Mikey's room.

Whyd he he bring me here? I mean I figured he'd just drop me off at the hospital to be poked and prodded at while he thought he was being a hero.

I heard some some more talking downstairs and stood up to go to the bathroom.
I went and as I was washing my hands I looked into the mirror.

I looked horrible. The welts on my face were now yellowish and fading but my nose was bruised and it looked like my stitches had been moved from being punched in the forehead.
My jaw was once again bruised and when I opened my mouth there was still dried blood coating my teeth.

i grabbed some mouthwash and rinsed out my mouth a few times before all of the blood was gone. I wet a paper towel and wiped my face to clear the blood off it but my nose hurt too much and I gave up.

I looked down and saw blood stains on my pants and knew instantly where it came from. Out of all the people I've hooked up with none of them have ever slammed right into me dry. I can't imagine it'd even feel good to them I feel like it would hurt.

I lifted up a portion of my shirt and frowned at the new bruises that would take a while to heal. Being careful of my nose I slid my shirt off and looked at my body in the mirror.

It was disgusting. truly and utterly horrifying to look at.

What made it worse was that I allowed it to happen to myself. I allowed myself to be used and touched while the people who used me were left unmarked leaving my body to take the damage.

I looked in the mirror and noticed something. I was crying. I also noticed a figure standing in the door frame crying. It was gerard.

I felt uncomfortable being around him after he just watched me get raped. I also felt like I was being a burden to him. Like he had to take care of me because of what happened. if he knew everything about me and my job he'd never let me do anything again he'd be watching over and waiting on me twenty four seven.

but that wasn't going to happen. He hadn't taken me to the hospital and figured out that I didn't have insurance or that I was a walking tree of stds.
mans he wasn't going to help me anymore than needed. He'd watched me till I woke up so that's all he could do for me. I was going to leave and handle this on my own.

I turned to leave the bathroom and go past him but he pulled me into a hug being careful of my injuries. He just held me while I listened to him cry.

"Frank I'm so sorry."

"for what?"

"frank....I....for what just happened to you. You didn't deserve to loose it like that or ever have to experience rape in the first place. I just can't understand why someone would do that to you." He said sadly.

Loose it like that? what?
Oh.....He thinks I lost my virginity to rape. Wait what?

"Listen gerard I appreciate you bringing me here but I really should get going-"

"where do you think your gonna go?" He asked me

"home where else?"

"frank I don't know if that's a good idea...."

"what're you talking about- did mikey tell you! God dammit mikey!" I yelled running over to my shirt and jacket on the floor pulling them on quickly.

"Frank clam down your not going anywhere" he said trying to soothe me.

"Listen Mr. Way" I spat mocking him by calling him his title. "I don't know what mikey said but I'm fine my family's fine my home is fine and I'm leaving!"

"frank stop it!" He screamed. "it's not safe!"

"my whole goddamn life isn't safe! You can't take my life away from me and try to protect me from what's already happened so just forget you saw me in that alley way.
Forget you saw me being sexually assaulted
forget it. Forget everything and just leave me the fuck alone. tell mikey to do the same."

"frank you don't really mean that just calm down."

"I mean what I say. Just fuck off okay? I don't need you pitying me for being raped. I don't need your help or your brothers. Just go back to that teacher who thinks I'm a slut okay? Remember that gee? I didn't loose it to the rapist you saw me fucking that guy under the bleachers!
So just go back to thinking I'm a slut and you might as well tell mikey now anyway since I really just don't give a fuck" I said and then left the place.

Notes

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