Struggling with more Ways than one

God, I don't even know where I slept last night. It could have been at some 'friends' house or some guy I might have slept with (although I doubt that), and when I say friends I mean someone who feels bad for me so they let me crash with them. Real friends is a gift I haven't had in years. Although I really am to blame for that since I'm disregarded as the antisocial suicidal emo chick, and I'm just fine with that label. I'm fine with any label really because as far as I'm concerned this is the end, anything afterwards is nonexistent. I get up quietly, trying not to wake the nice people who actually live here, I grab my things and walk off to school. Ugh I hate this town it's so washed up. I pull out my iPod and jam out to Green Day until I reach the front doors of this hell hole I call Belleville high school where I know I'm going to be tortured as I make my way to first period. I take a deep breath and make my way inside.
Alright nothing bad so far, I think to myself. It's funny how I thought I was safe because 'suddenly' Matt comes up behind me and starts saying things to me. Now matt is a jock so I try not to fight back with him knowing he can probably rip my guts out.
"Hey little emo," He whispers "are you going to go cut yourself again, maybe this time you'll bleed out so we don't have to deal with such a fuck up anymore," He snickers and lets me go.
I run to the bathroom trying not to cry from Matts venomous words, when I get to the bathroom I let the tears fall because that actually hurt me. I fumble for my razors in the bag and I feel relief when I see the blood pour out of me. All the bad things in my life, slipping away. I wipe my eyes and wrap the fresh cut in toilet paper and make my way to first period.
"At least this is class that I somewhat enjoy" I mutter as I make my way into class and sit-down in the back as far away from everyone as possible.
"Hello Everyone, My name Is Gerard Way and I am your new art teacher." a man says as he writes his name on the board.
Wait, hold the fuck up, WE HAVE A NEW ART TEACHER?! Obviously I missed that memo. I raise my hands to try and clear up my confusion.
"Yes?" he says. Oh gawsh he's beautiful, he looks like an angel really. Dark raven hair that sloppily shelters his ivory complexion and even from here I can see his mesmerizing hazel eyes.
"Erm, What happened to our old art teacher?" I ask quietly.
"You didn't get the e-mail?"
"No sir, I have no computer." I mumble.
"Oh, well in that case she is on leave and she instructed me to have you all do the assignments she assigned last week so get to work." he orders us and I pull out my sketchbook since I'm finished with the project. I work solemnly until I feel a tap on my shoulder, startled I jump and turn around to see Mr. Way.
"That's beautiful." he complements pointing to my pencil sketch of a wolf.
"Thank you." I mumble and continue sketching.
"What are these?" He whispers, I am confused until I realize he isn't pointing at my art, but at my arms.
"Nothing!" I exclaim as I pull my sleeves down. The bell rings and I'm glad I get to escape this horrible question Gerard asked.
"Flecther!" He calls after me as I run to the door. Tears sting my eyes and I want to run away, I want to run home, I want to get away from everything but I can't.
I can't.

Notes

Sorry if this is triggering for anyone! D:
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