We're not okay

"Damn you look like hell." Ray observed when I joined everyone in the morning.
"What...she does."Ray argued when Jess swatted him on the arm.
"No it's ok."I half smiled at Jess. "I do look like hell. I had a rough night, but I'll get over it."
After the nightmare last night, I had managed to fall back asleep but I didn't sleep soundly. I had woken up a couple more times and before I realized it was time to get ready for school. I had made no attempt to cover the circles and bags under my eyes with makeup. When I did the makeup didn't even help. I always the circles and bags to the point where they were a part of who I was. I had grown to accept them but still tried to hide them.
"Did any of you get your outfits for tomorrow?"I asked changing the subject. "Alice and I got ours yesterday." "
So did Frank and I."Brooke smiled."we bought tie-dye shirts."
"To be honest, I think you guys were the only ones who needed to buy you're outfits." Lizzy reasoned."I mean the rest of outfits are clothes we should already have. A lot of it is just everyday clothes you match up a certain way."
Everyone seemed to agree with her. Lizzy was like the leader of our group. She made all the plans and organized everything. Without her it was safe to assume we'd only see each other during school. It was hard putting things together with this large a group and somehow she always managed it though.
"Just to let you all know. I'm bringing everyone cupcakes."I informed everyone when they were finally in Mrs.Rios's class."Is vanilla cake ok with everyone?"
Everyone nodded and began talking about what else they were going to bring until the bell rang. It was most likely going to be our last Halloween all together and we wanted it to count. Tomorrow during lunch we were going to have a little potluck then trick-or-treating. From the way things sounded, it was going to be a lot of fun.
"Are you sure you're ok?"A voice behind me asked.
"Yeh, I'm fine. I'm used to restless nights."I confessed to Gerard as we walked to first period.
"Are you sure? I don't need my partner 'looking like hell' as Ray says."he smirked.
I laughed and everyone turned to look at me. I threw my hands over my mouth and continued walking.
"There that's better."Gerard smiled."you look really pretty when you smile."
"So where's your first period?"I blushed.
"I have class with Ray right now."
"Wait, then why are you walking with me still? You're going to be late."
"Please,"he scoffed,"I'm Gerard Way. I won't be late, and even if I am the either won't mark me. That's just one of the few perks of being me."
"You're very full of yourself."I concluded. "Well this is my class. Thank you for walking me....and for making me laugh. Not many people I just met could do that."
"Ahh...but we didn't just meet."he winked causing me to blush.
I watched as he turned and walked to where Ray was waiting for him at the end of the hallway. He was something else. Defiantly not how I remember. I remembered him as a shy little boy who hardly talked to anyone he didn't have to.
I wonder how much I've changed to him, I thought as I walked into class. Hopefully he saw the change for the better.
---
The school day was a blur. Mainly because nothing eventful happened. The only highlight was my conversation with Gerard in the morning. Other than that it was the same as usual. I went to class learned nothing, the process repeated 3 times before it was time for lunch. Then the process repeated 2 more times after lunch then was over. It was a never ending cycle of boredom.
Even lunch was pretty uneventful today and it's usually the best part of my day. It was just everyone talking about tomorrow. Usually I can deal with multiple people talking at once but today I was feeling irritable. Everything and nothing annoyed me. It was always obvious when I was in a 'mood,' as the group put it, so they knew I just wanted to be left alone. Thankfully, Gerard and Mikey caught on and didn't talk to me.
Once I got home I went straight to my room and put on my music. When my music was on, my parents knew I didn't want to be bothered. I kept my music on as began to write. A majority of what I wrote was all none sense. None sense that consisted of thoughts and feelings I had during that day.
I didn't realize how late it was getting until my brother had gotten home frown school. He attended a local community college and he didn't get out until 6 so got home around 6:30.
"If you're gonna bake,"my mom said walking past my room. "You better do it now because I know for a fact you have homework. You always wait till the last minute to do it."
I rushed out of bed, tossing my phone and notebook on the floor in the process. Baking was one of the few things I never got tired of doing. It made up for my inability to cook. Give me ingredients for pasta I wouldn't know what to do, but give me the raw ingredients for cake I'd make an amazing cake.
"Can I help?"my little sister asked as I I gathered all the ingredients I needed.
"No,"I snapped. "Fuck off."
My sister was your typical annoying little sister. Whenever I bake and allow her to help, something ends up burnt or just flat out wrong. After that I didn't even let her help mix, even though she complained to my mom.
"You're mean."she yelled while slapping me on the arm.
Aside from her intrusion the rest of my baking was done I silence. I didn't like having unnecessary conversation with people while I was 'in the zone.' It was something that when done on my own, it came out the best.
As soon as the cupcakes were out of the oven and decorated, I started on my homework. It was a task that took longer than I thought. Mostly because I kept getting distracted by everything that was not school work related. I kept thinking about tomorrow. If things went as planned, it was going to be the first if many fun events this year.
At one point I just gave up on doing the homework. The odds of my teachers collecting it were slim anyways. They usually got into Halloween more than the students did. I wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. I threw my books on the floor and crawled under my covers and tried my best to have a good nights sleep. I didn't succeed.

Notes