We're not okay

Senior year only started about three weeks ago but I was already over it. I couldn't wait to get out of not just high school, but this city. There were to many memories here and most of them I'd do anything to forget. I carefully navigated my way through the crowds of still overly excited freshman, annoying sophomores and bored juniors in order to my reach destination. When I got there I took a deep breathe and opened the door. I was greeted by the sounds of familiar voices.
"Hey Melanie!"Frank shouted as I walked through the door.
Everyone turned to look at me and smiled. All my friends greeted me in between talk of their weekend. It wasn't until after I said hello to everyone I noticed someone. He was sitting with us but not talking to us so I looked over at Brooke. "Who's that?" I whispered to her.
She turned to see who I was talking to about before answering.
"Oh that's Gerard. Frank brought him. He said they went to middle school with you guys. He just transferred back to the school district after being away for a couple years."
"Oh" I stated lamely.
He wasn't that bad looking to tell the truth. Actually quite attractive. To bad he'd never like me I thought to myself nobody ever did, in that way at least.
"Hey, I'm Melanie." I said introducing myself to him.
He studied my face carefully. It made me feel more uncomfortable about my looks than I usually was. I shifted uncomfortably considering if I should just walk away from him.
"I'm Gerard." He finally said before looking away.
I was tempted to strike up a conversation with him but decided not to. I didn't need any of his cryptic stares so I sat down and began to draw. Frank, Ray and Alex were all talking about the next party we were going to have while Jess, Lizzy, Alice and Brooke talking about their plans for this year.
I didn't join either of the conversations but thought of my own plans in my head. The next party would most likely be within the next to week for Ray's birthday. There was no way we would have time to do anything before that. As for my other plans for senior year I didn't have any aside from graduate and get accepted somewhere far away from here. I let my mind wander as I thought about my future. The future I almost didn't have.
As I continued to think memories started filling my head and they were not good. The bell suddenly rang sending the memories to the back of my mind. I shivered at the thought of them returning and noticed something from the corner of my eye. Gerard was looking at me without really looking at me. His eyes were blank and unknowing but at the same time were still aware of everything. I quickly stuffed my papers in my bag and waited for everyone else to join me before we walked to class together.
---
"I hope you don't mind but I brought someone"Gerard said as he walked though the door during lunch accompanied by someone."Everyone this is my brother Mikey."
Everyone greeted them before they both took seats in the circle. Everyday we spent lunch the same way. We'd all go to Mrs.Rios' room and sit in a circle in our respective seats. We weren't a very social group of friends but we sure as hell were a crazy group.
"Halloween's in a couple of days. What are we gonna do for guys? Are we all gonna do a group thing?" Lizzy asked.
All at once everyone began screaming their opinions. That was the only bad side to having a huge group of large friends. We all talk at once. It was clear everyone was rooting for the idea of a group thing but now everyone was yelling out ideas. I raised my hand and waited for everyone to shut up.
"So instead of yelling why don't we go around the circle and say one idea."I turned to Mikey and Gerard."are you both gonna take part in it?"
Mikey and Gerard both looked at each other. Neither of them seemed like they were much for words and it was kind of annoying. I so used to loud people and here we had two quiet ones.
"Yeh both of us will." Mikey replied smiling.
I nodded "So now ideas. Lizzy you want to start then we can go clockwise."
Lizzy nodded."What about crayons we can all be a color."
"Different types of candy."
"Superheroes"
"Flappers and mobsters"
"Greasers and pink ladies."
"Why don't we go as decades?"I asked.
"What do you mean?"Alex asked.
"Well there are ten of us." I explained. "Five boys and girls with Mikey and Gerard. We could like pair up and each do a decade."
"That'd be awesome!" Jess exclaimed. "But what decades would we do?"
"Errr well it's up to you guys."I stated. "First we should get our partners though."
I sat back in my seat awkwardly as everyone partnered up. Brooke and Frank were dating so that pair was obvious. So was Jess's and Ray's pairing. I turned to ask Alex but Alice had already claimed him, so I was left with either Mikey or Gerard.
Great, I thought.
Mikey and Lizzy were already talking so I turned to Gerard begrudgingly. "
So are you ok with being partners?" I asked tentatively.
"Sure." He smiled.
I did a double take. He was actually smiling. I mean it was true I just met him today but he didn't strike me as the smiling type. I smiled back at him as Emily began talking again.
"So what decades?"
"I don't care,"Alice began,"as long as I get the 20s."
"The 20s-80s."Lizzy concluded after a few moments of deliberation."I'm calling it right now. Mikey and I get the 50s."
That left us the 30s,40,60,70s and 80s to choose from. I don't know what the hell people dressed like in the 30s or 60s, so they were out of the picture.
"40s that was like vintage pin-up, 70s hippie and 80s the neon and stuff." I said to Gerard."What sounds best?"
"40s was WWII so we could do that. I have a uniform."He explained after looking at the confused look on my face. "I'll be the soldier and you the girl, but only of you're ok with it."
"Sounds great." I said and I truly meant it. That would look awesome."Alice let's go shopping after school."
Alice nodded with a smile. She and I had been friends since kindergarden and there was literally no one I trusted more than her. Even though I did trust her a lot I didn't trust her enough to know everything about me. I didn't trust anybody that much. I wonder if they know I'm keeping something from them, I thought. If they don't know they must suspect something's wrong with me.
I unconsciously began to rub the inside of my wrist of my thumb. It was always covered in meaningless bracelets so no one would see how much I struggle. From the corner of my eye I felt Gerard staring at me again. There was something in his eyes that felt oddly comforting but I couldn't quite explain it.
I looked up at him thinking he would look away but he didn't. We stared at each other, an exchange that went unnoticed by everyone else in the group, and he gave me a half smile before turning to his brother. Gerard whispered something to Mikey before pulling out a notebook and writing frantically until the bell rang.

Notes

This isn't a very good chapter but the others will be better I promise.