Once again I was sprawled out in the middle of the floor but this time it was different. My head was spinning from the pain and the beatings. My eyelids slowly closing as I want to drift away into a heavy dark painful sleep. Why do I deserve to go through all of this hurting in life? God, if your even up there tell me why!!? Why do I have to go through this? Is it my fault that my mothers dead? Is it my fault that my dad is an abusive father? I guess it is because Im the one having to be rushed to the hospital. Im the one always in trouble for nothing. Im the one who brings people down. Like Gerard, I dont deserve someone so perfect, so handsome, so everything that isn't me. Im sorry that I put all of those people through this. Im especially sorry that I let Gerard see what my home life was like. If he hadnt like me or anything everything would be fine with him. I just...want to be a ghost again.

“FRANK!!!!” That noise of someone calling me sounds so faint and unreal.

“FRANKIEEE!!! STAY!!” This time I felt someone shaking my body.

“Come on!..” A tear has fallen onto my face.

Now there are sirens surrounding me. I try to open my eyes and all I see are blurred images with flashing lights.

Is it finally the end?

---

***FLASHBACK!!!!***

“Lets go Frank. I wont let that brutal monster hurt you.”

I was now clinging onto Gerard as we walked into the store. I pretty much was being dragged since my body was paralyzed at the site of my dad. I nodded my head and turned my head forward into the store.

“BOYS!! BOYS???!!” Donna must be looking for us. With no hesitation all four of us went running towards Ms. Way or Donna. “Oh! There you all are! I was looking for you. Okay now grab two bags of that sugar and four boxes of those luggages and that big aquarium tank! Dont drop it!”

Ray and Mikey were getting the sugar while me and Gerard tried our hardest to not drop the aquarium tank. Shit I feel it slipping out of my hands. Oh fuck please dont slip.

“Hey do you two need help with that?”

Why does that voice sound so, familiar? I turned my head to look at who it was and it was my dad. Thats when I started hyperventilating when I saw at the edge of his built loop was a hunting knife. Sharp with all the edges nice and ready to cut. My father started laughing when he heard my hyperventilating. Donna had already walked off looking for other things in this big store.

Gerard quickly put his side of the aquarium down on the floor and I heard footsteps running towards us. Ray saw what was going on and his eyes went big in surprise. Mikey came up next casually but he remembered that this man was the same guy at the diner. A high-pitched scream was let out of Mikey's mouth and lets just say it was pretty powerful and he went running off to go get a security guard. My dad turned and saw Mikey running and Ray taking his stance he turned back at me and Gerard narrowing his eyes on me.

He started walking up to me at a fast pace and I wanted to run but my legs wouldnt let me. Thats when Gerard came over and punched him hard in jaw. As my dad was backing up slowly I noticed that he clicked a button or something in his hand. Thats when two other men came walking in and taking Ray by surprise and dragging the kicking Ray away outside as they tried to act casually passing all the people.

“Come on you little FAGGOT!! I want to..take good care of you!”

Once I heard that it was my que for me to run as Gerard was close behind me running to. I looked back a bit and saw my dad taking his knife out as we ran. We stopped in an aisle and pulled out something made of glass. As my dad got closer to us, Gerard through it at his feet so he would slip and fall on it. Didnt stop him.

“Run Frankie!!”

I was panicking to much. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack right then and there. I was trying to not have one but as we reached the exit door I tripped over my shoelace and fell smack onto the hard slippery concrete floor. Gerard came running to my side as we both noticed that part of my head started trickling blood and I had a busted up lip. I was lifted up by Gerard and we headed outside to the parking lot. My eyes were searching for any evidence of Ray. All I saw was Ray running with two men running close behind him but they spotted me and Gerard.

“Your not going anywhere Frank.”

“Why do you want me so bad!?” I was on the verge of crying.

“You cause this and Im going to end it by taking your life! You dont deserve to live you fuck up!”

“Dont you talk to Frank like that!” I can feel Gerard's anger as he started walking up to my dad.

Gerard picked up a large piece of wood from one of those crates and swung it at my dads side. He missed and my dad started aiming his knife at him. I felt strong hands gripping me by my shoulders and pulling me to a big black truck. I looked up and it was one of the men. He wrapped his other hand around my mouth and nose. I know that I have to break free some how. A plan hatched in my head.

I bit down hard on one of the mans finger he let out a scream and I kept sinking me teeth in further till I tasted blood. He let go of me all together and I kicked him in the balls that he might have. Went running to Gerard when I felt the most scrutinizing pain. I started gasping for air as I looked down and it was glass about 4 inches thick that was stabbed into my left hip. I felt it and everything stopped. Ray broke free of the other man and hit him hard across the face which might have knocked him out he came running straight to me. Gerard glanced over as I was slowly falling to my knees. He kept fighting though.

Gerard got free of my dad for a bit but then another bad feeling of pain went shooting up my spine. I heard it too. The skin on me was ripping as another object was thrown into the upper right part of my ribs. I let out a scream of agonizing pain as I heard my dad walking away as he knew that his job had been done. Ray and Gerard were right by me now as I lay in the parking lot with my blood surrounding me.

---

***FLASHBACK OVER!!***

I opened my eyes once more to see something I never ever wanted to see. My baby is crying. His tears falling and running down his cheeks as hes grasping his hands crying hard. His face started turning red from all the tears and rocking back and forth in the ambulance. I turned my head a bit but theres to much pain. I see the doctors trying to stitch me up and injecting little needles inside my right arm.

I try to talk but it just comes out as a bunch of non-sense.


I closed my eyes once more.


Im sorry for being a fucked up, abused kid.


I cant help that.


Everything in my life was just a fuck up.


All my fault.


Maybe my father is right.


Maybe I do deserve to die....

Notes

NOOOOO!!! FRANK!! WE LOVE YOU!! I fucking hate your dad! He is a real fuck face psychotic asshole. We need you Frank!...Gerard needs you!!


I meant to post this yesterday but I had a fuck ton of homework and I was exhausted. But better late than never, right?


Title Credit: Bruno Mars 'Young Girls'. I have actually really like this song so what the heck. :)