Memories

The drive to New York seemed to go a lot faster than our first trip there, mainly because I had managed to get around twenty minutes sleep nearing the end of our journey before I felt the breeze of the car door opening, the cold hitting me and wrapping itself around me like clingy fabric. I shivered, pulling my arms up to my face, not even entirely sure what I was trying to achieve with doing so. The cold air was soon being replaced by the warmth of arms wrapping around me, one under my legs and one around my back, cradling me close and lifting me out of the car.

I stirred, but before I had the chance to panic about who it was that had hold of me, Gerard's soothing voice reassured me that I was in safe hands. I heard the door of the car being slammed, and then we were walking. Instinctively, I reached my arms up to wrap them around his neck, burying my face into his shirt and sighing. I felt Gerard's lips press against the side of my head, and then to my ear. "Shh, it's okay. Go back to sleep."

The next thing I remembered was waking up somewhere I only vaguely knew, still feeling myself cradled to Gerard's chest. My hand, which was still wrapped around Gerard neck, slid down his chest. I listened to his soft snoring and I smiled. When I finally opened my eyes, I took a moment to look around the room and take in everything. This was Gerard's new home, and my soon-to-be home. Then I glanced up at Gerard. He was sat upright against the back of the sofa, his head tilted back slightly and his mouth cracked open as his breaths came out softly.

I shifted myself carefully, being sure not to wake him as I moved to face him, straddling his legs. I studied his peaceful features for a few seconds, allowing the pad of my thumb to carefully trace his jawline before placing a sweet kiss on his cheek. Leaning forward so my lips were by his ear, I hummed a little before whispering, "Gee, wake up, we have things to do."

I moved back slightly, my eyes flickering to his lips as they cracked into a tiny smile; barely noticeable, but still there. He wasn't fully conscious, but he was wakening slowly. He sighed as he reached a hand up to rub his eyes roughly before opening them half-heartedly to look at me. His tiny smile seemed to get bigger until he was grinning tiredly at me. We remained silent for a while, staring at eachother, I returned the grin and sighed happily. Eventually, he spoke the word, "Hey."

"Hi," I replied, and Gerard reached up to tuck the hair hanging loosely in my face behind my ear. I leaned in slightly to the touch and his hand slipped behind my head, gently pulling my face towards his and he connected our lips. When he pulled away, I glanced around the room at the few boxes that were lying around, then furrowed my brows. "Where's the rest of the stuff?" I questioned, turning to face him again.

"S'not here," Gerard shrugged.

"Thanks, dork. I didn't realize." I rolled my eyes and Gerard chuckled, leaning forward again and kissing my nose.

"I don't think the moving truck is due here for another thirty minutes." Gerard glanced at the clock on the wall. "You hungry? I could make us something quick."

I hummed in consideration for a few seconds, allowing my hands to slide from around his neck and down his chest, before resting them in his lap. Gerard's eyes flickered to them and then back up to my eyes. I tilted my head, biting my lip and thinking as Gerard remained silent. "I think we should go out for food," I finally contributed, watching as a small smile graced his features.

"Now that you mention it, I'm kind of in the mood for Italian," he smirked, snaking his arms around my waist. Pulling me further onto his lap, I leaned forward to kiss the curve in his neck. I felt Gerard relax underneath me, his hand pressing into the small of my back. I moved my hands, about to begin sliding them up his shirt when the sound of three faint knocks sounded on the apartment door.

I chuckled softly, removing myself completely from Gerard's lap and standing up. He sighed in a slightly exaggerated manner, allowing his arms to fall limp either side of him and leaning his head on the back of the sofa. "They're always either early or late, there's no fucking in between."

"Come on," I urged, heading towards the door. "The sooner we get your shit inside, the sooner we can go for lunch."

The moving guys did a lot of the work, all the while I was making coffees and offering up food to keep them going. It was pretty entertaining to see them; big, bulky, and masculine, lifting sofas with Gerard's petit, girlish figure. When Gerard caught me staring at his ass, I winked, biting my lip and he almost dropped the end of the cabinet he was helping to carry.

"Well, I think that's everything," one of the workers said, standing upright and clapping the dust from his hands. The other guy nodded his head, leaning backwards to crack his back and then reaching out to the cup on the just-assembled table to down the rest of his coffee.

"Yeah, we better get going," he agreed, turning to face Gerard and I. "Happy-New-Home, see ya later."

"Wait, how much do I owe you guys?" Gerard cut in as they were leaving, stepping forwards and fumbling with his pockets to find his wallet.

"Don't worry about it, one of your friends already covered it," the first guy smiled, turning around again and closing the front door on their way out.

Gerard reached a hand up to scratch his head, clearly confused. I laughed softly, stepping forward to wrap my arms around him from behind. "You think it was Lindsey?" I asked, linking my hands with his. Gerard nodded, then sighed.

"She's already done so much for me, I need to call her to thank her." He turned to face me, grinning a little bit and pecking me on the lips. "But first, I promised you Italian food."

The last time Gerard and I had been in New York, we had spent the whole day with Lindsey. Don't get me wrong, I love Lindsey with all my heart, but it was nice to just spend time with Gerard, and only Gerard for once. If Lindsey wasn't there, Mikey would turn up with a comic or some new band that he'd discovered. Then, of course, there was Donna and my own mom. They had became more acquainted when Gerard and I had officially announced our relationship. My mom and I would frequently stay for dinner at the Way's place.

Then again, it was strange feeling walking around town with Gerard, my hand in his, searching for somewhere to have lunch before we went grocery shopping to stock up Gerard's empty kitchen. Sure, it was an unfamiliar feeling, but I couldn't have felt more comfortable or at home. This was going to be my life. This time next year, I'd have left school, I'd be applying for colleges, I'd be moving into Gerard's apartment and I'd be living with him. It was that thought that made my insides feel tingly and my smile to grow wider when Gerard glanced down at me. It was then that I realized that I had nothing to be worried about. All of the anxiety and concerns that I'd had about Gerard moving away; wondering where that left our relationship and how it was going to work out was all for nothing.

Things were finally working out by themselves, and it was going to be okay. I was going to be okay. I knew that, and Gerard did too. The past was in the fucking past. This was now, and I had to make the most of it. This was what I had to look forward to, and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

I felt Gerard's hand tighten around mine, and I realized that I'd slowed down my walking to a shuffle. My feet were scraping across the cracked, concrete floor and my other free hand was held up to my face as I nibbled furiously at the nail of my thumb. Gerard slowed his pace down to meet mine and was watching me, his eyes filled with curiosity and worry, but he remained silent, waiting for me to speak what was on my mind.

I opened my mouth. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to say, but I felt as though I had to say something that would at least explain my thoughts. Yet, no matter how many times I tried to speak, I couldn't think of anything that would accurately portray the overwhelming happiness I was feeling at that moment. I wanted to scream, laugh, cry, yell, stomp about and throw my arms in the air all at the same time.

I halted my footsteps, pulling back on Gerard's arm. My grin never seemed to fade as I tugged him in the opposite direction and back towards the block of flats where he lived. Gerard still didn't speak, and neither did I. My palms were sweating and my head was spinning and I knew that no matter how scary the thought was, I knew what I was doing. The door of his apartment closed behind us but I didn't stop moving; my hand never left Gerard's as I lead him through the bedroom door and pushed him onto the bed, ignoring the awkwardly placed cardboard boxes littered around the room that we hadn't unpacked yet.

Gerard stared up at me in awe and slight confusion, his eyes wide and his lips parted a little as he tried to steady his breathing to speak. "Are you sure-" he started, his forehead creasing in concern, but hushed himself when I began to climb on top of him, hovering my lips just over his. I kissed him briefly, one hand tangling in his hair and the other trailing down his side. Then I pulled away, but still staying close, I nodded. His eyes searched mine desperately, trying to comprehend what was happening in that moment, before he reached a hand forward to pull me back down and connect my lips with his again in a more passionate way.

Within a few minutes, our clothes were gone, thrown aimlessly somewhere in the room. Everything in that moment was perfect. I could taste Gerard's skin as I kissed down his sweat-glazed chest. I could feel him squirming underneath me as my hand touched his inner thigh and I could hear his pants and moans. I felt Gerard's hands gripping my waist before he flipped us over, straddling me and repeating the same process. His lips kissed the skin of my neck, my chest, his teeth grazed at the flesh of my thighs and I groaned in anticipation and pleasure. I knew what was coming next, and to my immense surprise, the thought didn't scare me. My heart was pounding so loud in my chest that I thought Gerard could hear it. The adrenaline that was pumping rapidly through my veins didn't once seem to slow down. I was ready.

Gerard looked up from his position in between my legs, hesitating as he thought about what would be good to say in this situation. Eventually, I reached my arm out to brush the hair gently from his face and trace the pad of my thumb over his lips. "I trust you," I clarified. "I'm ready."

He nodded once, sitting up slowly to catch my lips with his quickly before he disappeared from the bed and began to rummage through a few of the boxes on the floor. When he returned, he pressed his lips to mine again, the kiss slow and deep and somehow managing to distract me enough to not even fully realize when Gerard moved my legs further apart. The only thing I was aware of was the way his breathing was paced and confident, how his hair brushed against my face and his voice seeming low and passionate when he told me he loved me, how husky my voice came out when I returned the words and the incredible feeling that shook through my entire body when I finally felt Gerard inside of me.

Notes