Memories

"Gerard, will you hurry your ass up?" I laughed out the car window at him as he fumbled with the keys in the front door. He held his phone to his ear that he'd been on all morning talking to Lindsey. He was acting strange; he didn't seem like himself. I don't know what was bothering him, but I hoped to find out today.

"Alright, I'll think about it," he sighed down the phone as he slid into the drivers seat beside me. I glanced at him once, tilting my head slightly in confusion. As he hung up the phone and put it back into his pocket, I found the courage to ask what was going on.

"Is there something bothering you?" I spoke up quietly. "I mean, you haven't been yourself all morning."

"Yes. Yeah, I'm fine," he assured me, but I could tell me was lying the way his eyebrows creased together and he rubbed the side of his head with his finger. "My head just hurts, that's all."

"Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about?" I placed a hand on his and he looked up, meeting my eyes and smiling half-heartedly.

"Honestly, don't worry about it. It's nothing that can't wait. Today is about you." He leaned down and caught my lips with his, then pulled away. "I've even got something to show you."

"Can't wait," I grinned and turned to put my seatbelt on as Gerard started the car and began driving down the road to go nowhere I recognized. We were driving for around an hour and fifty minutes before it finally clicked to where we were headed. What made it obvious were the signs with the words "You are now entering New York City" plastered all the way down the highway.

"What? Why are we here?" I yawned as he began to drive around a large parking lot to find a space. I saw a hint of a smirk playing on the corners of Gerard's lips as I glanced up at him and he began to exit the car.

Leaning down to talk to me when he opened my passenger door, he found my hand and pulled me from the car. "It's a birthday surprise."

"I don't like surprises," I moaned, letting me feet scrape across the floor as we walked somewhere I wasn't sure of. It looked as though we were headed for the small restaurant across the road from the parking lot as we swerved in and out of crowds upon crowds of people.

When we crossed the road and entered the small, plain-looking restaurant Gerard led me towards a table where a familiar woman sat. She had her arms folded loosely over her chest. Her red waist coat was the thing that stood out the most about her. Her boot-covered foot tapped in time to some unknown song and her lips moved slightly as though she was miming along to it. Her black skinny jeans had a small chain that hung from the left belt loop to the pocket.

"Lindsey!" I called out, the surprise in my voice clear. I picked up my speed, pulling Gerard along by the hand behind me and stopped as we reached the table. "What's going on?" I grinned, glancing between the two of them.

"I thought it would be a good idea for the two of you to come up to New York," Lindsey grinned back, standing up and pulling me into a bone-crushing hug. "I wanted to say Happy Birthday to you in person, so, Happy Birthday!" She exclaimed, ruffling my hair and kissing my cheek.
"Thanks," I chuckled, wiping the red lipstick remains from the side of my face.

"And Gerard still needs to give me an answer," she trailed off, raising an eyebrow at Gerard. She didn't finish the sentence, leaving the question hanging almost as though she wasn't allowed to say it.

"An answer for what?" I asked, confusion and slight panic on my features. Gerard sighed, walking around the table to take a seat and signalling for me to do the same. Lindsey joined us in the seat she was in when we arrived and she linked her hands together, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her hands.

Taking a deep breath before he started talking and running a hand roughly through his messy black locks, he turned to look at me slightly. "Okay, let's just get this over with. Lindsey's found me a job working for the Cartoon Network. Her friend from Art College's Dad works there and said he was looking for somebody. She showed him some of my art work and he loved it. The pay is good, and lets face it; I can't live in my mom's house forever."

I stared absently at him, trying to take in everything he was saying and resorted to closing my eyes while my mind processed it. "Wh- Where will you live, then?" Were the only words I could seem to form at that moment in time.

"I've actually been looking for a flat out here. I wouldn't move in straight away. I'd stay with Lindsey until I have enough money from the job to move in on my own. WIth the pay I'd be getting, I could be moved in within a month."

Again, I stayed silent, just simply watching him with a vacant expression. "So, you'd be moving away? When would I see you?" Fuck, I sounded so whiny and selfish. Why couldn't I be happy for him? But also, why didn't he tell me sooner? He sounded like they'd been planning this for a while from the way he was going on. Then I turned to look at Lindsey.

She was smiling at me, knowing I was reacting better than any other person in my position would be. Yet, inside I felt like I was being torn from the inside out. When would I see him?
"You'd see me whenever I wasn't working. Honestly, the minute you wanted to come over I'd drive for hours on end through the traffic to pick you up and bring you to my apartment. It would be like your part-time home with me."

I admit, I knew Gerard had been struggling for money lately, and in the back of my mind I knew it was the best for him, so why couldn't I seem to accept that this was what he had to do?

"When are you moving here? With Lindsey, I mean." I was being blunt with the questions now.

"After this weekend," he sighed, knowing what I was going to say. Glancing between the two, I began accusing.

"That's one more day in New Jersey, Gerard. Why didn't you tell me sooner? So, what. You're taking me home, packing your things and you'll be gone by Sunday morning? Is that it?" I could feel myself beginning to shake and I forced down the tears that started to form in my eyes, reluctant to sound any more whiny than I was already being.

"His plan was to spend the weekend with you," Lindsey spoke up, sitting up straight. "Today we'd spend the day here, in New York. We were going to show you the place to make sure you liked it."

"I won't be leaving until late Sunday evening," Gerard carried on. "I'll stay in a cheap motel with the money I have left if I get tired."

I stayed silent again, my brain still struggling to process all the information being hurled at me. Eventually, I sighed, swallowing the tears still threatening to escape and I wrapped my arms around Gerard's waist, burying my face into his chest. "You know how much I'll miss you, right? I'm gonna fucking miss you being around."

"I know," he breathed, kissing my hair and the top of my head. "You think I won't miss you? Because this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

"You two are gonna make me cry," Lindsey smirked, wiping underneath her eye. "If I ruin my makeup, it's your fault."

"You always look gorgeous, Lindsey," I laughed, and she muttered a, "oh, stop it you," at me, blushing. "Well, are we going to see this apartment or not?" I smiled, beginning to stand, when a waiter stopped by the table, glancing at me and Gerard, and then at Lindsey.

"Are you ready to order?" She smiled, and Gerard shrugged.

"May as well eat while we're here," he said as he pulled out his wallet from his jacket pocket, but Lindsey reached over the table and placed her hand on his, stopping him from opening it.

"I'll pay," she insisted, smiling. "What do you guys want?"

We sat in that restaurant for a couple of hours, and by the time we'd finished our lunch it was 3 in the afternoon. After we ate, we stayed for a few more minutes to tip the waiter and gather our things before making our way to Gerard's car.

It was a fifteen minute drive from the restaurant and Gerard pulled up at the side of the road outside a large block building. I figured it was flats, and as we exited the car I felt my heart start to beat slightly faster. I was calmed though, when I felt Gerard's fingers interlock with mine and he kissed the side of my head.

"Are you ready to see our apartment?" He smiled, and I inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to stop my shaking that had started again. Lindsey appeared at the other side of me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, nudging me.

"I think so," I finally managed to say.

Ready was an understatement. The place was beautiful. As Gerard and Lindsey lead me up three flights of stairs and we stopped outside a large black door; I could already see how well it was going to suit Gerard. Pulling out the keys we picked up from downstairs, he put them in the lock and twisted it until we heard the latch click, my stomach dropping simultaneously. Tightening my grip on Gerard's hand, he looked down at me immediately, a concerning expression on his face as he pulled on the handle and the door swung open slowly. I couldn't see anything yet; the lights weren't switched on.

Lindsey stepped forward then, entering the darkness and feeling along the side of the wall by the door for presumably the light switch and flicking it on. The room illuminated with light, temporarily blinding me from seeing anything for a few seconds. I flinched, rubbing my eyes groggily and blinking a few times before they finally adjusted to the layout before me.

A slightly larger than average front room stood before me, complete with sofa and TV, a few empty bookshelves and a small coffee table in the center. To the right was the kitchen. The counters were an off white colour and there was an island in the middle. I glanced to the left where there was two doors that were closed, preventing me from seeing past them.

"This is..." I trailed off, racking my brain for a reasonable response other than "amazing." Thankfully, Gerard knew what I meant.

"I know," he hummed in content, a grin stretching across his face. "Do you want to see the bedroom?"

I nodded, allowing him to lead me over to the door furthest away from us as Lindsey took a seat on the sofa, spreading her arms over the back of it and placing her feet on the table. As Gerard opened the first door the main thing I noticed was the large, king-sized bed in the center of the room. The sheets were already black, ironically. There was a regular sized wardrobe in the corner of the room with a mirror hanging on the door of it, and a set of drawers beside the bed.

"What's in there?" I wondered aloud, pointing towards the sliding door opposite us.

"That's the ensuite," he smirked and started walking towards it. I followed suit and he slid it open revealing a painfully white bathroom and washroom. "I'll fix the white when I'm moved in," he laughed when he saw how I squinted. "The other door out there is just a coat closet," he informed me, and I nodded, not knowing how to respond.

"How are you affording all of this?" I managed to get out, my mouth slightly agape as I glanced around again when we entered the front room/kitchen area.

"Like I said, the job has good pay, and believe it or not, this place isn't that expensive. I also had some money saved, meaning I could use it to place a deposit on it."

"Holy fuck," I breathed. "I'm so sorry about how I reacted. I mean, this is such a great place and it's a great opportunity for you. I'm holding you back and-"

"Stop," Gerard ordered, an edge to his voice. "You are not holding me back. Fuck, Frank. Don't say that, please." He wrapped his arms protectively around me when my eyes widened, kissing the top of my head. "Don't," he repeated, breathing slightly heavier.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I really think this is a good idea."

"Me too," he finally sighed as he pulled away, then glanced to Lindsey who was in the same position, watching us with a grin.

"So, it's getting late you guys. I think we should get going." She stood from the sofa and straightened her waistcoat. "I'm sure you guys want to be getting back, anyway."

Gerard and I glanced at each other, nodding as he pulled the keys for the apartment out of his pocket.

"Just let me lock up and give the key back," he said as he swung them around his finger. "Then we'll get going."

Notes

You guys, there's literally three chapters left of this story. I don't think I can bare to part with it. Oh gosh, I'm gonna cry.