Guitar Picks and Paper Cartoons

"Hey Anya," my mom said from the living room. "How did everything go?" she asked looking at me briefly. My rage was boiling over and I couldn't begin to contain it.

"Let's get one thing straight Mom. No matter what happens in the world, or who moves here or who moves way, I will NEVER forgive you for killing Hannah," I stated to her. She looked at me shocked for a moment and then went to say something but I turned and walked into the kitchen. I pulled the Vodka bottles out and began to smash them on the counter tops.

"Anya! ANYA!," she began to yell as she entered the kitchen. "ANYA STOP," she screamed trying to grab my hand as I smashed another 1/5th.

"YOU KILLED HER MOM. YOU FUCKING KILLED HER AND THEN YOU LEFT." I through the last bottle at her feet making it shatter. I walked past her toward my room when her hand came to my arm. "FUCK YOU," I screamed ripping my arm out of her grip. I walked to my bedroom and slammed the door. Turning on loud music, I just began to scream. I screamed because I didn't want my step-father to leave. I screamed because I didn't want to deal with Hannah being gone. I screamed because my mom killed her. I screamed because I was completely stuck in this situation.

My brain was in overdrive, I needed to make it stop. I finally stood up feeling a bit dizzy from all the screaming. I shut my stereo off. My brain was on auto pilot. I opened my bedroom door and walking into the living room. My mom was still sitting on the kitchen floor crying. I looked at her for a moment and then walked out the front door. She didn't try to stop me or utter a single word in my direction.

Walking up to Gerard's house I couldn't even register what was real and what was fake. The door opened and a lanky Mikey appeared in the door frame. I then realized I must have knocked. He looked at me as if waiting for something. Time seemed suspended. I opened my mouth to respond but I already heard Gerard's name being called. Mikey stepped aside and Gerard walked into the door way. His lips moved but I was unable to register what he was saying.

"Anya," he finally said again pulling me forward by my elbow. "Come on get in here," he said pulling me the rest of the way in.

"Mikey don't tell Mom or Dad that she's here," Gerard said wrapping an arm around me.

"Okay, let me know if you need anything," Mikey said as Gerard directed me upstairs toward his room. The noise of the door shutting pulling me back to earth and finally grounding me.

"I'm wet," I said with confusion staining my voice. I had no idea how I was wet but I was soaking.

"Well it's pouring out," Gerard stated pointing toward the window. I looked outside to indeed see the rain.

"Oh," is all I could say.

"Anya," Gerard whispered rubbing either side of my arms. "What happened?" he asked as quiet as can be.

"I'm cold," I replied. He nodded looking around. He grabbed a folded towel and through it over his shoulder. He turned on his stereo for noise and then came back over to me.

"Arms up," he muttered as he grabbed the bottom of my sweatshirt that was clinging to me. I lifted my arms and he was able to pull the sweatshirt and tank top off. He wrapped the towel around my upper body as I began to shack. He unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down. When he stood back up I leaned my body toward him. A feeling of comfort began to erupt through me. "Let me grab you some clothes," he muttered steadying me in a standing position once again. He returned a moment later with a pair of pajama pants and a shirt. I didn't move as he set the items on the bed I was next to. "Do you want me to keep helping?" I just stared at his face, attempting to memorize every line, every freckle. Gerard sighed and stepped back in front of me. His hands came to my hips and he kissed my forehead. His fingers curved around the top of my underwear and he slowly slid them down. He secured the pants at my hips and rose once again. I leaned forward and gently kissed his soft lips. His hands unclipped my bra, sliding it off. I leaned in again kissing him. I grabbed the shirt from him and slid it on myself. He pulled me into a hug as I gripped him tight, afraid that this would change. That if I was to let him go, he would vanish, I would vanish, we would vanish.

"Please don't let me go," I whispered into his ear.

"I never will," he said as his hands slid down to my thighs and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around him as he walked me over to the bed.

Notes

I'm back... hopefully.

~Nailsntacks