Heartbreaker Records

I groaned as I rolled over, stretching out my arms to reach Gerard, my eyes snapping open when I discovered he wasn't there. I sat up slowly, the blankets sliding down to my waist, causing me to shiver as I pushed them all the way down and climbed out of bed, searching through the drawers for a pair of pants to slide on. "Gee?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen, his back hunched over the table, mutters and sighs leaving him as I walked close. "Gee, baby?" I asked, sliding my arms around his waist. He placed his hands over mine, leaning back onto my chest, a content sigh leaving his lips.
"How long have you been awake?" He asked.
"Not long." I muttered, pressing my lips to the top of his head. I felt his fingers run tender caresses down my forearm, stopping just short of my wrist before moving to my elbow and starting again.
"What's this?" Gerard asked, twisting my arm around as he studied something.
"What's what babe?" I asked.
"This." He muttered, twisting my arm up so I could see what he was pointing at. I felt my cheeks go red as I looked upon the tattoo, the one that he drew one night on the bus.
"A tattoo?" I said unsure of what he actually wanted me to say.
"I know that Frankie, but why that image?" He asked, spinning in the chair so he could look at me.
"I don't know...I can't really remember much." I lied. "I just remember going and getting it tattooed the night you drew it on me..." Gerard wrapped his arms around my waist, his fingers brushing my bare spine as he embraced me.
"I love you Frankie." He muttered as he tugged me down onto his lap.
"I love you too baby." I pressed my lips to his cheek as I held my arm so I could see the tattoo, a tiny love heart with a g in the middle of it, all in Gerard's writing.

****

I stepped through the front door of the record store, closing my eyes and breathing in the smell that I love oh so much. I walked slowly to the staff room, dropping my jacket into my locker and closing the door, reaching for a cup of coffee as Billy walked in. "Hey Frank, you feeling better?" He asked, dropping his cup into the sink.
"Yeah, just so fucking tired right now." I replied, spooning sugar into my mug.
"Damn, well, hope today goes okay. If you start feeling bad, let me know." Billy said.
"Thanks." I muttered, grateful that he hadn't asked me to explain why I wasn't at work.

I stood behind the checkout, waiting for a customer, my eyes drifting around the store until they came to rest on Gerard' his back bent over the boxes he was unpacking. I bit my bottom lip softly, dirty thoughts running round my mind. He froze, his hands hovering over the box as he straightened and turned, his eyes meeting mine across the store. I blushed and turned away, slightly embarrassed that he caught me staring. In my mind, I knew I was acting like a teen in love, but that's exactly how I felt, a teenager in love.

My stomach rumbled, the noise making me chuckle as I glanced at the clock. "I'm taking a break." I called out to Billy, who nodded and straightened up, taking my place at the checkout. I walked to the back room and grabbed some chips from my bag, dropping onto the couch with a comic as I ate. A noise in the doorway startled me, making me choke on the handful of chips I had just put in my mouth.
"Shit baby, I'm sorry." I heard Gerard mutter as he came over and rubbed small circles on my back until I stopped choking. "Are you okay?" He asked.
"I am now." I muttered as I climbed to my feet and put the packet in the bin, turning on the kettle and reaching for two mugs. I felt Gerard's hands on my waist, his head resting on my shoulder as I measured out the coffee granules into the correct mugs. "I'm so tired." I yawned, turning around and wrapping my arms around Gerard's waist.
"Your shift is over soon, you can go home and sleep." He whispered as he leant down and rested his forehead against mine. I nodded and tiptoed, pressing my lips to Gerard's moulding our lips together. He kissed back, sucking my bottom lip between his teeth before tugging back and running his hand through his hair. "Goddamn it." He groaned, leaning down and placing his lips to mine again, pressing me against the side with his hips. I rested my hands on his shoulders and pulled myself up, wrapping my arms around his waist. Someone cleared their voice in the doorway causing Gerard to drop me and step back. I looked at him with a confused expression, my eyes darting between Gerard and Billy.
"What's going on here?" Billy asked, glaring at me.
"Uh, I can explain." Gerard muttered. He shot a look at me, begging me to leave so I grabbed my coffee and left, hovering just outside the door to hear what was being said.
"What the hell are you doing with him?" Billy shouted, anger boiling to the surface.
"I love him. I can't just ignore my feelings for him." Gerard replied trying to keep cool.
"No, I know that, but looking at what I just witnessed, you can forget what he did to you? You can forget how you were when he left?"
"I am trying to but I'll never be able to fully forget, not when I have the mental scars to remind me every day! Don't you think I look at him and see what I went through?" I didn't hear the rest. I placed my coffee on the side and left the store, writing out a quick note and leaving it on the checkout.

****

I threw myself onto the bed, curling up as the tears streamed down my face. I had no idea how much I hurt him, and I may not have actually heard what I did, but the fact that he can't look at me without hurting, that hurts. I tugged off my hoodie and slipped my pants down my thighs before crawling under the covers, yawning, then falling asleep.

Gerard looked at me across the room, his face showing curiosity before he turned away, shaking his head. I knew that, by coming here, I was risking tearing open old wounds, ones that hadn't healed for me yet.

Mikey told me that it would be a bad idea. He begged me not to come here, but I couldn't resist, I had to see Gerard. Jamia knew something was wrong, telling me that I needed to give up on things that weren't going to happen. I knew it wasn't going to happen, I just wanted her to love me the way that Gerard did, I wanted her to make me feel the way he did.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, startling me. Mikey's number flashed up on the screen. "What are you doing?" He asked.
"Grocery shopping." I replied, knowing that he could probably sense my lie down the phone.
"Then why the hell am I looking at you drooling over my brother? Do you know how much you are risking here?" He snapped.
"No, I don't know how much I am risking, but you wanna know something?" I asked. "I don't fucking care Mikey. I still love him!"
"I know you do Frank, but he's happy now. Can't you understand that?"
"I can, I do... but I... I just miss him Mikey. All I want is to see him." I muttered, a lump forming in my throat.
"Frank, please, just let him be happy." Mikey begged. I stayed silent, my voice unable to form the words I wanted to say. "Frank?"
"I just wanted to say goodbye." I muttered before hanging up.

I didn't know exactly why I wanted to say goodbye, I wasn't exactly going anywhere, or was I? Things had gotten tough lately and I didn't know how much longer I could keep going. Maybe that's why I wanted to say goodbye.

****

I smiled at Gerard as we walked off stage, grabbing his hand as soon as we were out of sight of the fans. "Well done." I muttered as I placed Bela on her stand.
"Thanks." He whispered back, looking both ways before dragging me towards one of the unused dressing rooms. I kicked the door closed with my foot as Gerard pressed his lips to mine, pinning me against the doors with his hips. I kissed back, tangling my fingers in his hair. A quiet groan left my lips as Gerard slipped his hand inside my trousers, his hands on my bare hips. He pulled his head back, his eyes on mine as I bit my bottom lip, my hands pressed against his chest. I pressed my lips against his again, this time more passionate than hungry. I wrapped my arms around his waist, my head on his chest and my breathing heavy.

****

A loud beeping filled my ears, my body tense as I lay there, trying to decipher the sounds around me. One sounded like my mother crying, the other, I'm not too sure. It sounded like water rushing, or rocks falling. I don't know, it changed too often for me to put a name to it.

My ribs were on fire, each breath forcing waves of agony to rush through my body. I groaned softly, squeezing my eyes tighter. "Frank, honey, please open your eyes." My mom whispered, her hand over mine. "Come on baby, daddy didn't mean it."
"Mommy." I sobbed as I tried to open my eyes, the bright white light filling my mind. "Mommy, I'm scared. Am I an angel?"
"No honey, you're not an angel. You're still here baby. Mommy loves you." She replied, leaning down to place a kiss on my forehead as my eyes continued to open.
"But mommy, daddy made me an angel... he hurt me mommy." I whispered, my voice barely above a whisper.
"You're not an angel Frank, now stop saying that or you will be an angel before the end of the day. You are here, you are safe." My mom explained, climbing onto the bed next to me.
"Mommy, why did daddy hurt me?"
"Daddy sometimes feels angry and does things he will regret later. Daddy was angry and he ended up hurting you. He didn't mean it sweetie, daddy still loves you."
"I don't love daddy." I muttered before closing my eyes.

"Wake up little boy." A voice said, waking me from my dream. My eyes snapped open and focused on my dad, his eyes glinting in the dark.
"Daddy?" I asked, my voice filled with fear. "What's wrong daddy?" He leant down, anger filling his eyes as he started playing with my dressings, pulling them off.
"Well, didn't do a good enough job." He snarled, his hands reaching for something in his pockets.

****

I screamed, sitting bolt upright as my body shook, fear filling my veins. "God no, god no.. please no..." I muttered as I stared down at my hands, movement from the other side of the bed causing me to look up.
"Frankie?" Gerard asked, his voice filled with sleep. "Frankie, baby, what's wrong?" I looked over at him, a sob fighting free, tears streaming down my face. "Oh baby." He muttered as he pulled me into his arms, laying down and cuddling me to his chest. "I've got you baby." I rolled over so I was looking at him, my vision blurred with tears.
"I'm scared Gee." I whispered. "I'm scared he is going to find me."
"Shhh Frankie, I promise you he'll never lay a finger on you." Gerard muttered. We lay there in silence, our breathing matched as I stared into the dark.
"We should get matching tattoos." I whispered into Gerard's neck.

Notes

So killjoys,

who else here is heartbroken about the Fake Your Death release today?? and why the hell are we just finding out about the video now??

Well, let me know what you guys think of the chapter and the song!!

Keep strong guys!!

~Elise-Iero~