The Screaming Hope
People will also surprise you. Negatively.
He didn't understand it. He didn't anticipate it. He didn't think of it. He didn't imagine it, didn't picture it. He just... didn't reckon it would be a request that would escape from my lips.
However, Ricken didn't refuse it.
Then it was my turn to not understand: Did he say he accepted me to be his partner in crime? Did he just hire me? Did he say it blindly without even reconsidering the situation?
More and more questions were replacing my initial confident attitude, as more and more frustrations accompanied them, of course inviting some apparent lack of confidence in the process.
Lack of confidence that was so much contrasting with my initial confident attitude about being a partner in crime forgetting his past lover.
Lack of confidence due to this said lover.
Lack of confidence that Ricken figured out so soon.
He burst in laughter, singular and low-pitched, forming a scaring symphony for any human ears. He stopped, looking dead-serious.
- Is this really what you want? Because you seriously don't look like you're ready to handle anything. You look so nervous you're gonna piss in your own fucking pants.
One more laughter.
And another.
And another other.
Just like a crescendo of a machivellian laughter.
- At least just show some masculinity or confidence.
So Ricken kept on spitting venomous words at me.
- You really thought I would take a sissy like you?
And another one.
- You just look like I thought you would look. A coward fucker. You don't have any usefulness for me, or for anyone.
And another other one.
Venomous words keeping on arriving in abundance, flashes of Gerard's face splashing in my head, blood boiling in my brain.
I never saw my fist colliding with Ricken's face.
But it happened at one time or another. More precisely, the next second.
I was beating him so hard, I remember. I didn't care. He was getting what he deserved.
I knew that I didn't have any usefulness, yes, I was fucking aware of it.
But neither him!
- Don't fucking say that you're more useful as me, you fucker! I shout.
And one blow after that.
- The world would be so much better without you! I add.
And two other blows after that.
- Tell me how fucking useful is a coward criminal like you, you son of a bitch?!
And three other blows after that.
Covered in bruises, Ricken grabbed my head, holding it in place. He then plunge his blue ocean-like regard into my dull angry one.
Analyzing, studying, memorizing it again.
I really didn't want. But I stopped every move, immobile and hypnotized. I really couldn't detach myself, I was dragged into something that, at the moment, felt so huge and overwhelming.
Seeing his victory, Ricken smiled and grabbed my left wrist harshly, pulling me towards his powerful computer, the AlienWare.
- Okay, you..., began Ricken.
- Frank. My name is Frank.
- Okay Frank. So you're more useful than me, huh? You're not a sissy either I assume? Let's see. Push this button.
He gestured over a purple button next to the keyboard.
- What for? I asked.
- You will make a coward's house explode from a far. That's what I do. I usually kill people and hack and everything from a far and I then earn the money thanks to my collaborators. So... Do it. Have the guts to kill these people. Because my dear, if you wanna be my partner, that will be a fucking habit of yours.
One single flash of Gerard's face.
And the button is pushed.
However, Ricken didn't refuse it.
Then it was my turn to not understand: Did he say he accepted me to be his partner in crime? Did he just hire me? Did he say it blindly without even reconsidering the situation?
More and more questions were replacing my initial confident attitude, as more and more frustrations accompanied them, of course inviting some apparent lack of confidence in the process.
Lack of confidence that was so much contrasting with my initial confident attitude about being a partner in crime forgetting his past lover.
Lack of confidence due to this said lover.
Lack of confidence that Ricken figured out so soon.
He burst in laughter, singular and low-pitched, forming a scaring symphony for any human ears. He stopped, looking dead-serious.
- Is this really what you want? Because you seriously don't look like you're ready to handle anything. You look so nervous you're gonna piss in your own fucking pants.
One more laughter.
And another.
And another other.
Just like a crescendo of a machivellian laughter.
- At least just show some masculinity or confidence.
So Ricken kept on spitting venomous words at me.
- You really thought I would take a sissy like you?
And another one.
- You just look like I thought you would look. A coward fucker. You don't have any usefulness for me, or for anyone.
And another other one.
Venomous words keeping on arriving in abundance, flashes of Gerard's face splashing in my head, blood boiling in my brain.
I never saw my fist colliding with Ricken's face.
But it happened at one time or another. More precisely, the next second.
I was beating him so hard, I remember. I didn't care. He was getting what he deserved.
I knew that I didn't have any usefulness, yes, I was fucking aware of it.
But neither him!
- Don't fucking say that you're more useful as me, you fucker! I shout.
And one blow after that.
- The world would be so much better without you! I add.
And two other blows after that.
- Tell me how fucking useful is a coward criminal like you, you son of a bitch?!
And three other blows after that.
Covered in bruises, Ricken grabbed my head, holding it in place. He then plunge his blue ocean-like regard into my dull angry one.
Analyzing, studying, memorizing it again.
I really didn't want. But I stopped every move, immobile and hypnotized. I really couldn't detach myself, I was dragged into something that, at the moment, felt so huge and overwhelming.
Seeing his victory, Ricken smiled and grabbed my left wrist harshly, pulling me towards his powerful computer, the AlienWare.
- Okay, you..., began Ricken.
- Frank. My name is Frank.
- Okay Frank. So you're more useful than me, huh? You're not a sissy either I assume? Let's see. Push this button.
He gestured over a purple button next to the keyboard.
- What for? I asked.
- You will make a coward's house explode from a far. That's what I do. I usually kill people and hack and everything from a far and I then earn the money thanks to my collaborators. So... Do it. Have the guts to kill these people. Because my dear, if you wanna be my partner, that will be a fucking habit of yours.
One single flash of Gerard's face.
And the button is pushed.
Notes
I'm sorry I had to reupload it !
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@nuclearcloud
I'm not fantabulous, silly... But awww thank you ;)
3/7/14