The Screaming Hope
… you will be fooled anyway, so you will pay the consequences.
Even if it was 380 days ago.
Even if all my apparent questions have been answered.
Even if I got to know everything about this incriminatory hole and general quarter.
Questions still flow through my mind everyday.
Like...
How did I go from the hare-brained and desperate lover to the biggest criminal's partner?
Why has he not killed me yet?
Did I get what I deserve?
(Frank Iero, 23 years old, the day after Frank and Ricken's meeting)
He has just removed the bonds that were previously tying me up.
He has just got back to his previous work.
He has just... let me go like nothing happened.
It's been 5 hours now. I'm sitting on a chair, staring at the roof. Without understanding why. I just understand that I'm in an adjacent room as the one I was tying up in. And it's big. Really big. It's like a mix of baroque and cavern-ish, ruled by a statue of an atypical gargoyle that takes its support on the middle of the room's floor. Ancestral paintings cover the octogonal walls. What is in between the walls and the statue?
Desks, with infinite amounts of rolled papers, and pencils spreaded all over the pieces of furniture.
I don't have any clue on what is this room's role, but it's not like I cared either. Although I don't want to move. I don't want to help, I don't want to fight.
I just want a miracle to happen.
Because, I'm stuck in a place that reminds me constantly that I don't have anywhere to go, that I don't belong to anyone or anywhere, that I have nothing at all.
I'm just sitting on this chair, staring at this roof.
/Why Ricken didn't kill me yet?
He promise me he will. That's one of the first sentences he shared to me, remember?
I don't know why, but I feel like it is gonna be a question I will be asking myself quite a few times these next days.
But do I even want to live?
I know I speak like I'm waiting for something tragic to happen to me. Like I gave up. Like I want to die. Like I deserve it.
Where did the strong stubborn punk Iero kid go? Why am I this weak? Why do I want to throw my life away, like I didn't have any value, like I was as important as a grain of dust?
I'm not myself. I know I'm not, it's... It's Gerard's fault. I know I tried my best to keep his name far away from my neurons, but I know it's his fault. I'm weak because of him. I'm not myself because of him. I'm slowly dying because of him.
You know what?
Punk Iero's back.
- Ricken, can I be your partner in crime?
Even if all my apparent questions have been answered.
Even if I got to know everything about this incriminatory hole and general quarter.
Questions still flow through my mind everyday.
Like...
How did I go from the hare-brained and desperate lover to the biggest criminal's partner?
Why has he not killed me yet?
Did I get what I deserve?
(Frank Iero, 23 years old, the day after Frank and Ricken's meeting)
He has just removed the bonds that were previously tying me up.
He has just got back to his previous work.
He has just... let me go like nothing happened.
It's been 5 hours now. I'm sitting on a chair, staring at the roof. Without understanding why. I just understand that I'm in an adjacent room as the one I was tying up in. And it's big. Really big. It's like a mix of baroque and cavern-ish, ruled by a statue of an atypical gargoyle that takes its support on the middle of the room's floor. Ancestral paintings cover the octogonal walls. What is in between the walls and the statue?
Desks, with infinite amounts of rolled papers, and pencils spreaded all over the pieces of furniture.
I don't have any clue on what is this room's role, but it's not like I cared either. Although I don't want to move. I don't want to help, I don't want to fight.
I just want a miracle to happen.
Because, I'm stuck in a place that reminds me constantly that I don't have anywhere to go, that I don't belong to anyone or anywhere, that I have nothing at all.
I'm just sitting on this chair, staring at this roof.
/Why Ricken didn't kill me yet?
He promise me he will. That's one of the first sentences he shared to me, remember?
I don't know why, but I feel like it is gonna be a question I will be asking myself quite a few times these next days.
But do I even want to live?
I know I speak like I'm waiting for something tragic to happen to me. Like I gave up. Like I want to die. Like I deserve it.
Where did the strong stubborn punk Iero kid go? Why am I this weak? Why do I want to throw my life away, like I didn't have any value, like I was as important as a grain of dust?
I'm not myself. I know I'm not, it's... It's Gerard's fault. I know I tried my best to keep his name far away from my neurons, but I know it's his fault. I'm weak because of him. I'm not myself because of him. I'm slowly dying because of him.
You know what?
Punk Iero's back.
- Ricken, can I be your partner in crime?
Notes
I know it's not very well, but I hope you liked it anyway :)
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Have a nice day or rest of the day
@nuclearcloud
I'm not fantabulous, silly... But awww thank you ;)
3/7/14