The Screaming Hope

Frank’s POV

So yeah… I know he loved me. That means he still cares about me, in a certain way. That means I have to believe in a better future with him.
A future which consists to, first, revive him.
I have severely harmed him this time. I couldn’t feel all the strength I’ve put and I regret I didn’t.
I carry Gerard to the bed we, once, made love. I take his clothes off to see the damages of my beatings.
/I’m a monster.
I apply ice on all the hematomas.
/He will never love me again.
I kiss every one of them.
/I don’t deserve to live. Not even to breath.
I pray with all of my heart he will get better.
/I pray with all of my heart he will forgive me.

Gerard’s POV (in his subconscious)

It’s been nearly 3 years I’m locked here.
It’s been nearly 3 years THAT I WANT TO DIE!

Frank’s POV

It’s been nearly 3 years.
And I’ve done nothing admirable for both of us. I’ve done nothing good for him.
I’ve done nothing, NOTHING, human since these 3 years.

I think about letting him go.
/No! I love him more than everything on Earth, my life has as much value as a grain of dust compared to his, to my heart.
I removed all his rights by locking him here.
/I had to, or else I would still be hurting myself by seeing him happy with someone other than me.
But… He’s not happy at all, now that he’s with me. And that…
Since 3 fucking years!

How could I be this blind?

/I’m useless as fuck. Look, it took me 1080 days, nearly 3 years to figure out the pain I was creating for no valid reason. To figure out I’m getting exactly the opposite of what I wanted, namely to make Gerard happy with me. To figure out the douche I am.
I want to tell him.
I need to tell him.
To tell him how sorry I am, how I just wanted to make him happy, how miserable I feel miserable to have made him suffer like this. I’m sorry, I…
I have ruined his life!
I want to tell him.
I need to tell him.
To tell him he is now… as free as a bird.

But it’s fucking too late!
I’ve taken his freedom forever now that he’s dead!

Notes

I sincerely hope you understand everything, with all the time changes, and all the pov's, and my difficulty to really express myself properly ...

hope you enjoyed :)
have a wonderful day