The Screaming Hope
... and you will have to let some people go, even if you're attached to them;
Gerard’s POV
(In his subconscious)
/5 seconds. Just 5.
What the hell am I thinking? What are these 5 seconds?
/4…
Once I see Frank I’ll tell him straight I’m not fighting anymore.
/3…
He can do whatever the Hell he wants. I’m done with living, by and large.
/2…
What the hell are these numbers?
/1…
Anyway, where am I?
/0 !
(Gerard, completely Gerard)
- Haaaaaaaaaaa-hhhhhhh! I screech as the air hits anew my lungs.
/Where am I?
A bed. The bed where Frank and I once made love.
/Why my whole body is hurting like hell? And cold on some parts?
Oh. Now I remember. He beat me until I went unconscious.
/Yes! That’s why I was saying I want to give up.
I should go tell him.
After seven attempts to get out of the bed due to the pain, I can say I’m finally on my way to Frank’s bedroom.
I will give him what he wants.
I will obey him.
I will be kind.
I will show no opposition.
I will even fall in love with him if he wants me to.
Because, I mean, I surrender.
But for now, I need to overcome the pain which is running through my entire body. Each step is more difficult than the previous, and I really need to focus to reach Frank’s.
Suddenly, I hear an uncanny noise.
It was on the wall, on my right. A built-in box which, apparently, needed to be opened: which I do. A mixture of wires, circuits and fuses are now presented to me.
/That must be the electrical center of the house.
But why here, in the bedroom?
/Oh you know, this is an old house. Typical old Provencal house.
Oh and, maybe it’s the oldness of the house and of the electrical system which explain why there are electric sparks in this electric box.
It’s dangerous. Maybe it’s going to burn or something. I need to inform Frank, and now!
A giant explosion prevents me to achieve this goal.
Frank’s POV
I've never heard a noise as loud as the one I’ve just heard. It’s from downstairs…
Where I left Gerard.
Before I could think of anything else my legs are carrying me to his bedroom as fast as they can.
The view I discover once I’ve opened the door is unconceivable.
On the right, near the bed and the electric box, on the floor, there is…
There is a hole. With broken wires. And ground, and clay… The box is burning.
But there is no Gerard in view.
I look around: no sight of him either.
I feel my heart freezing as the thought of him down the hole comes to my mind.
I rush to the edge of the hole, searching. I’m so, so worried.
A hand is emerging between the wires, gripping like it could. Beyond this hand, there is nothing. Nothingness. I can’t even see the bottom of the hole.
Gerard is gripping at the rim of the crevice; I hold him out my hand, grabbing his. He looks up, his eyes seem to light up of relief when he sees me.
- Okay listen Gee, I begin - anyone would detect the fear and the uneasiness in my voice. Listen Baby, you’re gonna grab my hands as tight as you can, so I can get you out of this. You’re ready?
He nods. I begin to pull him with all my strength; but my placing isn’t helpful. I’m laying on my tummy, the floor is slippery and the fact that I’m short doesn’t help me either. All these things combined make, the more I try to pull Gee out there, the more I advance toward the hole. Therefore, the more Gerard descends into the hole.
- Fuck, FUCK, I have no support on which sustain me! I yell.
- Frank, Gerard says with an unusual tender voice.
- Gee, I swear I will get you out of this crevice, just trust me, I, I… I will find a way! Just hold on Baby…
- Frank!
I look at him.
- Frankie, I… I stop. I quit. I give up. I won’t fight anymore. We can live normally now, like a normal loving couple. You can do whatever you want to me. This time, I’m… I’m officially yours.
I look at him, my love, my desire, my baby, my everything, my victim; I look at him with disbelief. He’s saying that my dream come true. I have him. I really have him. We can bask in happiness.
/No! You can’t keep him, not after all the sorrow you’ve inflicted on him! He deserves freedom, you deprived him for too long! Do at least one good thing for him, in 3 years: let him go!
I think…
I think I’m going to listen to my reason for the first time in 3 years.
- I’m sorry Baby, I begin. I’m… I’m letting you go. After I pull you out of this hole, I will no longer keep you locked with me. You will be as free as a bird, and I mean it. I’m so sorry Gee baby, you don’t know… You don’t know how much I’m sorry for being so blind about what I’ve inflicted on you! I’ve been more than selfish and it scares me now to think about these 3 years, being all but human! Gee I’m sorry!
I sob violently, letting my tears wet my shirt and reach Gerard’s hand.
I was still holding his hands, trying to pull him out of the crevice. An electric noise reminds me I need to hurry and get him out.
- Frank, I think it’s gonna explode… What if it explodes beneath you, just like it did with me? We need to get out of here!
A loud crack occurs. A piece of roof falls, accompanied by the television which just missed falling on Gerard.
A second crack occurs.
This one comes from the wall which exploded, a long concrete bar poking in my back, projecting me in the hole.
Gerard’s POV
I can’t even figure out what is happening before I see Frank, falling in the crevice.
Fortunately, I grabbed his arm in time, and I’m lucky he’s quite light. But that means that now, if I unhand the wires, there will be two victims. The crevice seems really, really deep. We wouldn’t survive.
- Frankie, can you get a grip on something?
- No, there is only ground, and it crumbles everytime I try to grab it!
- Well, listen. I’ll count to three, and then I’ll try, with all my strength, to pull us out of this shit. You ready?
- Yes, I… I trust you. I love you, Gee.
- I love you too, Baby, I say, trying to give him a confident look to make him more comfortable and less afraid as hell. I can literally feel all his nerves and sweat dancing between our hands.
I take a deep, deep breath. As deep as the one Frank took once, when he told me he loved me.
With all my strength, with all my soul, I try to get us out, with one pull.
I was so tired of hearing cracks today, but this has not prevented a last crack to occur.
This crack comes from the roof, again. And...
It is accompanied with the sofa of the first floor, missing to hit me, but Frank didn't have as much luck as I did.
He falls into the black, endless hole, carried by the sofa.
I only hear their collision with the ground nearly thirty seconds later.
That means…
The crevice measures over 300 meters!
(In his subconscious)
/5 seconds. Just 5.
What the hell am I thinking? What are these 5 seconds?
/4…
Once I see Frank I’ll tell him straight I’m not fighting anymore.
/3…
He can do whatever the Hell he wants. I’m done with living, by and large.
/2…
What the hell are these numbers?
/1…
Anyway, where am I?
/0 !
(Gerard, completely Gerard)
- Haaaaaaaaaaa-hhhhhhh! I screech as the air hits anew my lungs.
/Where am I?
A bed. The bed where Frank and I once made love.
/Why my whole body is hurting like hell? And cold on some parts?
Oh. Now I remember. He beat me until I went unconscious.
/Yes! That’s why I was saying I want to give up.
I should go tell him.
After seven attempts to get out of the bed due to the pain, I can say I’m finally on my way to Frank’s bedroom.
I will give him what he wants.
I will obey him.
I will be kind.
I will show no opposition.
I will even fall in love with him if he wants me to.
Because, I mean, I surrender.
But for now, I need to overcome the pain which is running through my entire body. Each step is more difficult than the previous, and I really need to focus to reach Frank’s.
Suddenly, I hear an uncanny noise.
It was on the wall, on my right. A built-in box which, apparently, needed to be opened: which I do. A mixture of wires, circuits and fuses are now presented to me.
/That must be the electrical center of the house.
But why here, in the bedroom?
/Oh you know, this is an old house. Typical old Provencal house.
Oh and, maybe it’s the oldness of the house and of the electrical system which explain why there are electric sparks in this electric box.
It’s dangerous. Maybe it’s going to burn or something. I need to inform Frank, and now!
A giant explosion prevents me to achieve this goal.
Frank’s POV
I've never heard a noise as loud as the one I’ve just heard. It’s from downstairs…
Where I left Gerard.
Before I could think of anything else my legs are carrying me to his bedroom as fast as they can.
The view I discover once I’ve opened the door is unconceivable.
On the right, near the bed and the electric box, on the floor, there is…
There is a hole. With broken wires. And ground, and clay… The box is burning.
But there is no Gerard in view.
I look around: no sight of him either.
I feel my heart freezing as the thought of him down the hole comes to my mind.
I rush to the edge of the hole, searching. I’m so, so worried.
A hand is emerging between the wires, gripping like it could. Beyond this hand, there is nothing. Nothingness. I can’t even see the bottom of the hole.
Gerard is gripping at the rim of the crevice; I hold him out my hand, grabbing his. He looks up, his eyes seem to light up of relief when he sees me.
- Okay listen Gee, I begin - anyone would detect the fear and the uneasiness in my voice. Listen Baby, you’re gonna grab my hands as tight as you can, so I can get you out of this. You’re ready?
He nods. I begin to pull him with all my strength; but my placing isn’t helpful. I’m laying on my tummy, the floor is slippery and the fact that I’m short doesn’t help me either. All these things combined make, the more I try to pull Gee out there, the more I advance toward the hole. Therefore, the more Gerard descends into the hole.
- Fuck, FUCK, I have no support on which sustain me! I yell.
- Frank, Gerard says with an unusual tender voice.
- Gee, I swear I will get you out of this crevice, just trust me, I, I… I will find a way! Just hold on Baby…
- Frank!
I look at him.
- Frankie, I… I stop. I quit. I give up. I won’t fight anymore. We can live normally now, like a normal loving couple. You can do whatever you want to me. This time, I’m… I’m officially yours.
I look at him, my love, my desire, my baby, my everything, my victim; I look at him with disbelief. He’s saying that my dream come true. I have him. I really have him. We can bask in happiness.
/No! You can’t keep him, not after all the sorrow you’ve inflicted on him! He deserves freedom, you deprived him for too long! Do at least one good thing for him, in 3 years: let him go!
I think…
I think I’m going to listen to my reason for the first time in 3 years.
- I’m sorry Baby, I begin. I’m… I’m letting you go. After I pull you out of this hole, I will no longer keep you locked with me. You will be as free as a bird, and I mean it. I’m so sorry Gee baby, you don’t know… You don’t know how much I’m sorry for being so blind about what I’ve inflicted on you! I’ve been more than selfish and it scares me now to think about these 3 years, being all but human! Gee I’m sorry!
I sob violently, letting my tears wet my shirt and reach Gerard’s hand.
I was still holding his hands, trying to pull him out of the crevice. An electric noise reminds me I need to hurry and get him out.
- Frank, I think it’s gonna explode… What if it explodes beneath you, just like it did with me? We need to get out of here!
A loud crack occurs. A piece of roof falls, accompanied by the television which just missed falling on Gerard.
A second crack occurs.
This one comes from the wall which exploded, a long concrete bar poking in my back, projecting me in the hole.
Gerard’s POV
I can’t even figure out what is happening before I see Frank, falling in the crevice.
Fortunately, I grabbed his arm in time, and I’m lucky he’s quite light. But that means that now, if I unhand the wires, there will be two victims. The crevice seems really, really deep. We wouldn’t survive.
- Frankie, can you get a grip on something?
- No, there is only ground, and it crumbles everytime I try to grab it!
- Well, listen. I’ll count to three, and then I’ll try, with all my strength, to pull us out of this shit. You ready?
- Yes, I… I trust you. I love you, Gee.
- I love you too, Baby, I say, trying to give him a confident look to make him more comfortable and less afraid as hell. I can literally feel all his nerves and sweat dancing between our hands.
I take a deep, deep breath. As deep as the one Frank took once, when he told me he loved me.
With all my strength, with all my soul, I try to get us out, with one pull.
I was so tired of hearing cracks today, but this has not prevented a last crack to occur.
This crack comes from the roof, again. And...
It is accompanied with the sofa of the first floor, missing to hit me, but Frank didn't have as much luck as I did.
He falls into the black, endless hole, carried by the sofa.
I only hear their collision with the ground nearly thirty seconds later.
That means…
The crevice measures over 300 meters!
Notes
I really hope you understand everything, it's really hard for me to explain in english what I have in french in my head!
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it :)
Wonderful New Year <3
@nuclearcloud
I'm not fantabulous, silly... But awww thank you ;)
3/7/14