Gerard Way: Serial Killer

I dragged the knife down the decedent's midsection, creating a nice red slice that welled with blood. When I made the cut long enough, I set the knife down next to his body and peeled open his abdomen. His insides were glistening with blood and other bodily fluids. I reached in and pulled out his intestines, placing them in a large plastic garbage bag. Once I was finished de-organizing him (no pun intended), I tied up the sack and slung it over my shoulder, much like Santa Clause. I hoisted up the corpse and walked out of the backyard after I cleaned up the bloody mess I had made on the concrete by the pool.
Passing the occasional bothersome streetlight, I walked down the secluded avenue to the docks by the lake and snuck underneath the boardwalk. It was a new moon; not one scrap of light could thwart my plans. I was completely hidden by the dark cover of midnight. I set down my load and picked up handfuls of dampened sand, packing it into the body, stuffing it full of deadweight. I did the same to the bag of innards, until the sand was about to spill out. I pulled out my silver suture and black thread from my bag of supplies, sewing the corpse up neatly.
After stuffing, I slunk over to the lakeshore. I had strategically placed a small canoe on the bank early in the day, allowing me to paddle to the center of the deep, murky body of water. I placed the dead man's body and bag of innards in the small boat and picked up the oars and started out. When I got to the correct place, which was the approximate center of the lake, where the water was deepest, I dumped the sand/body packages into the water. They made a loud splash, and then sank quickly, disappearing from sight, only a few tiny bubbles of air floating back up to the suface. I dipped my hands in the lake, cleansing them. Satisfied, I rowed back to shore and climbed out of the canoe, beginning the journey home.
Oh, I may have forgotten to introduce myself. Hello, I'm Gerard Way: serial killer.

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