Listen to this while you read because I like how it sums up Connor ok

(Connor's POV)
"God, I'm so stupid! I'm so fucking stupid!" I dug my palms into my eyes, desperately trying to stop crying. I didn't need to be sober to know I've fucked up big. What was I thinking? What was I thinking?! You weren't thinking, said the voice inside my head. My stomach was on fire and I felt like I was being stabbed by a million poisoned daggers. I stumbled out of bed and ran to the nearest bathroom, purging my body of all nourishment I'd had today. Once I could stand up, I leaned on the counter and looked in the mirror.
I looked pathetic. My eyes were bloodshot, my lips were cracked and bleeding, and my cheeks were wet. How could I tell her something like that?It's okay, you're drunk. She won't think you meant it. I mean, you'd have to be crazy to tell a girl you've barely talked to that you love her, right? I told myself. But still-- she sounded so mad. I threw up again. God, make this throbbing in my head go away. My vision was getting hazy. I shouldn't have drank as much as I did. I finally fell asleep next to the toilet like a pathetic drunk. I'll just pretend not to remember anything, was the last thing I thought before I fell asleep. Yeah, that'll work. It has to...

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The next morning I woke up with a killer headache and I couldn't stop shivering. My arm had fallen asleep and I couldn't bear the pain in my hand from lack of blood flow. I threw up. Damn, I was sick of being sick. I pushed myself up and tried not to black out. I made my way out of the bathroom as quietly as I could and tried to walk down the stairs but tripped and fell on my face. Kara must've heard me because she came out of her room hesitantly and gasped when she saw me laying on the stairs. She helped me get up and walk down the stairs and then sat me down on the couch before going to the kitchen. I layed down in a pile of blankets and clutched my stomach. Goddammit Jack, I'll never let you get me drunk again.
A minute later Kara nudged me softly and got me to sit up before handing me two aspirin and a cup of warm tea. I thanked her and she sat on the other couch. "Do you mind if Mikey comes over later?" She asked after I had taken my medicine. I looked at her. "Is Gerard coming with him?" "No, just Mikey." I thought for a second, "Okay. I'll try not to bother you two too much, just try to be relatively quiet." That sounded kind of dirty. I pinched my hand, scolding myself for thinking that way.
"I like Mikey anyway. He's quite nice," I said quickly. She smiled and looked nowhere in particular. "Yeah, he really is." I couldn't help but smile and tried to keep from giggling. "Does someone have a little crush?" I asked, teasing her. She went red as a tomato, "No! I mean, maybe a little..." I laughed and stood up, going over to her and ruffling her hair. "You two are cute together anyway." I said. She looked up at me, "Really? You really think so?" I smiled and nodded, but immediately sat down because... Nodding really fucking hurt. She hugged me and buried her face in my chest. "Thank you, Connor! You really are just like a big brother to me, y'know." I smiled even bigger than before. The feeling was mutual.
"I give you permission to have me as your honorary big brother." I said jokingly. She looked up at me again, "Thank you, Mr. Honorary Big Brother." I giggled and pushed her hot pink hair out of her green eyes. "Your welcome, little sis." I felt loads better after talking to Kara. She's one of those people that you can't help but be happy around. I was glad to now have her as my honorary little sister and I felt all warm inside. I looked at my dirty Ravenclaw shirt and winced. Man, I really do look terrible. Kara saw the look on my face, "Oh, I did some of the laundry at night since I couldn't sleep, so you should have some clean shirts now." I thanked her as she got up and went to the laundry room. She came back a minute later with a comfortable black shirt that belongs to Jack and some grey sweatpants. "Here, change into these." I didn't bother to tell her that the shirt was Jack's, and just went to the closest bathroom and changed. We wear each other's clothes all the time anyway. She's probably seen me wear this shirt before. The clothes smell so good and they're warm. Okay, I feel immensely better. The aspirin has even kicked in so I don't feel like someone's trying to hammer a nail into my skull.
Even though I felt mostly better I still had this little tugging feeling at my heart, knowing Jade was probably upset because of me. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and left the bathroom. The heater was on and the house was quiet except for the sound of Kara humming in the kitchen. Her humming then broke into full on singing, and she wasn't bad.

And all the bridges you've burned,
leave you trapped off at all sides.
And now the tables do turn,
When it's all gone, what's left for you?

And when the sky is falling,
don't look outside the window!
Step back and hear I'm calling,
"Give up, don't take the fast road!"

I walked into the kitchen. "What's that song?" I asked, making her scream because I had surprised her. She clutched her chest dramatically. "Goddammit, Connor. You can't scare people like that!" I laughed, "Well, what's it called anyway?" She looked back at the stove, where she was making some kind of mushy breakfast thing. "Change Your Mind by All-American Rejects." I shrugged and looked over her shoulder at what she was making. Malt-O-Meal. Yuck. I don't get why Jack likes that stuff. Apparently Kara does too. "Well, you sound good. Maybe you should sing for Mikey." I wanted her to blush, but instead she just looked excited. "We were planning on playing Rock Band! Do you wanna play with us?" I thought about for a second and smiled. "Yeah, that sounds fun!" She smiled back, "And we can sync your iPod to it so we can play our own songs!" I was excited now. Things were looking up. I just hoped Jade would believe me when I claimed to not remember telling her I loved her.

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Notes

Okay so I'll write the next part soon but I kind of want to wrap this up for now so yes. Okay.