Frank stood almost awkwardly, his hands clasped in front of him as he stared down at me. I automatically pulled my sleeve down to hide the evidence of what I’d just done, embarrassed. His eyes flicked to my now-concealed wrist briefly, and I wondered how long he’d stood there, how much he’d seen. It seemed almost irrational to be so worked up over such a small little scratch, but the memory of the relief I got from the self-inflicted injury made it appear so much bigger to my mind, and I didn’t want Frank to see it. Surely he’d be disgusted at such a thing. I studied him, waiting for him to say something, but he just stared straight back, holding my eyes with his own and not saying a word. Finally, I said the first thing that came to mind, unable to stand the quiet any longer. “How did you find me?” At this he finally opened his mouth, smirking slightly. “It wasn’t that hard. I figured you wouldn’t have gotten too far, so I drove around a little.” He gestured to a battered black car with its engine still running, parked up against the curb. I studied it for a moment longer than was probably normal, to avoid his piercing eyes. “Gerard, come on.” I looked back at him when I felt his hand on my arm. He pulled on it, trying to get me to my feet. I resisted, and he let go after a brief tug-of-war session, looking at me again, this time with confusion. “Gerard, seriously, you can’t sit in a bus shelter all day. Come back to mine with me, we can talk about this.” I shook my head stubbornly like a child, earning me an exasperated sigh, much like a parent actually. “Why not?” he asked demandingly. I raised my eyebrows. Hadn’t he seen her, hadn’t he heard her basically predict his demise? I’d come to the conclusion that she wasn’t a dream, she couldn’t be, she was so real and so truthful. So obviously, he must have seen her, right? This was the first time she’d ever appeared while I was around other people, and I sort of hoped he would confirm her for me; tell me for sure that she was as real as she felt. Because otherwise... No, there is no ‘otherwise’. She’s real, I’m not crazy. In fact, I bet Dr Lee sent her. Yeah, that makes sense. He sent her to make sure I believe all his talk of insanity. His little private assassin, determined to make me question my mental state until she got her shadows to take me down. “Gerard!” Frank’s voice pulled me out of my reverie of suspicions. His hand was on my arm again, and thanks to my thoughtful manner he managed to pull me up to my feet. He didn’t stop there - he basically dragged me to his car and shoved me into the passenger seat. He was in the driver’s seat before I had the chance to recollect my thoughts and climb out again, starting the engine and pulling into the road. I glared at him, but he ignored my icy stare and drove us back to his place. I realized, with humiliation, that I really hadn’t got far. It took less than ten minutes for us to pull up outside his little house. Wordlessly, Frank got out of the car and stood expectantly by my door, waiting for me to step out. I did, after it was clear he’d won the glaring competition, and I let him lead me to his house, resigned. A small, selfish part of me was glad to be back here, in his presence once more. I pushed that back, however, knowing that I couldn’t afford these kinds of slips, not if I wanted to save him. I followed Frank inside whilst mentally plotting how I would get out again. He took me straight to the living room, and sat down on the sofa, tugging on my arm so I sat beside him. I opened my mouth, ready to warn him of all the imminent danger that being around me entailed, but I didn’t get a chance, because he leaned forward and kissed me before I could make a sound. I stiffened for a second before letting him, indulging in the stolen moment. When he pulled back, I stared, having completely lost all the words I’d been about to spill. He smiled at me, and I thought I saw a hint of sadness in the expression. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, “I had to do that.” I shook my head, in a slight daze, and replied with “I don’t mind.” that earned me one of his cute laughs, making me smile in response. “Now, seriously Gerard, talk to me. What the hell happened yesterday?” my smile fell away at his words, and I shifted on my seat. Had he really not seen her? How could that be? She wasn’t exactly quiet, to say the least. But Frank’s expression made me doubt myself. He looked so honestly confused, as if he really had no idea why I’d run away. That was impossible, it had to be. Maybe… maybe he just didn’t understand. Yeah, that could be it. I mean, he’s never seen her before so he could just be confused because he didn’t know who she was… Right? I refused to accept the other theory, the idea that she hadn’t been there. She had, she’d come in, spoken to me, and left through the window. I couldn’t just make that up. I clenched my hands into a double fist, tears springing into my eyes. The confusion was crippling, I couldn’t make a single coherent thought stay still in my mind. I wanted it all to go away, I wanted a way to just clear everything in my head and forget, even if just for a moment. Then it hit me, I had a way, didn’t I? I grazed my finger over the sleeve covering my wrist. I rose suddenly, making Frank jump. “Bathroom,” I muttered, and walked away before he could question, locking myself in.

Notes

:( this chapter upsets me. Self harm is awful, and it reminds me of the days when Gerard was depressed and everything. But anyway, enjoy, comment, etc etc, love you all. Paranoia Violence out xø