When You & I Were Forever Wild

I felt weightless. Everything around me was silent. The only thing I could hear was my own breathing; the air being sucked through the regulator, before the bubbles ascended towards the turquoise light. But I was concentrating at what was below me; a deep blue darkness that was terrifying, yet fascinating. I was waiting, while my sense of time had already stopped working. It happened every time. As soon as I jumped into the water, as soon as I dove under, it felt like I entered another world where none of the normal rules applied. My camera was pointed toward the black, anticipating the giant that I knew would come and greet me any moment now. Maybe I should have been scared even though the humpback whale had become familiar with me by now, but instead, the adrenaline in my body triggered a mad rush, almost moving me to tears. The second best feeling in the world.

It was topped by the moment I looked into my daughter's eyes for the very first time, and every time ever since. As I poked my head out of the water, taking off my mask and handing the camera to my assistant, she smiled her perfect little smile, waving frantically.

'Did you see the whale, honey?!' I asked and she nodded, grasping Gerard's arm as a wave shook the boat slightly.

'Yes! And Daddy took picsas!' she told me as I climbed up the ladder.

I freed myself from the heavy diving equipment and unzipped my wetsuit before hurrying over to them. Olivia was still watching the whale which was blowing water just a few yards away from the boat and I couldn't even blame her for not welcoming me back. She looked adorable in her little life jacket, wriggling around trying to get out of Gerard's protective hug. He on the other hand puckered his lips to ask for a kiss and gladly gave it to him. I snuggled up to him, his warm, sun-kissed body too appealing to resist, even though my cold wet skin against his made him shiver momentarily.

'Aww sorry.' I said, planting another kiss on his lips and he winked at me from behind his Ray Ban's.

'How was it?' he wanted to know, handing me a towel.

'Amazing. I even touched her. You have to come next time.'

'I wanna come!' Olivia got excited.

'In a few years you can come. You're too small. The whale might mistake you for a krill or fish and eat you!' I joked, pulling her onto my lap and she giggled, the same giggle that had made me fall in love with Gerard all these years ago.

They were so similar. Not only did she have his laugh, she also looked just like him with her thick dark hair, cute little nose and the same long black lashes framing her hazel eyes. She had perfected his pout and puppy dog eyes combination by now too, making her absolutely irresistible and impossible to be stern with. She had his melodic voice and creative mind, and her artistic skills were already almost better than mine. And she was only three.
Her cheeks were sprinkled with freckles, just like mine, but apart from that, she looked exactly like her daddy. Which he always denied, pointing out that she actually had my features. Not that it mattered, she was cute as a button and our world revolved around her.

By the time we had returned to LA from our honeymoon, I was already 4 months pregnant. The morning sickness that had almost ruined our fun had passed, I was hornier than ever before, (much to Gerard's delight) and when I finally started showing, we got even more excited. Suki moved to LA and helped us prepare for Olivia's arrival, which happened a month too early via C-section because apparently, she was just as impatient as we were to meet her. Everything went well and after a few extra days in hospital, we got to take her home. Gerard was scared at first, too worried that he could do something wrong or hurt her while I was virtually overconfident in my new role as mother. Josh, Ashley and Max visited, welcoming the new addition to the family and helping us both to adjust. Ray also stopped by and despite all the crying, pooping, puking, and stressing out, Gerard and I managed to play matchmaker.

Now here we were, three years later. On a boat, in Hawaii, where we all lived now. Ray and Suki had gotten married two months ago and were trying to get pregnant. Gerard was working with Ray on turning Volume One and Two of his comic into a movie while writing on the third series. And I was currently filming a documentary for NatGeo while also taking photos for my very first book.

We had the life we'd always dreamed of, and in moments like this, with my daughter smiling in my arms and my husband lovingly wrapping a towel around me before kissing my cheek, everything else ceased to exist. The scars on my heart had vanished for good and not even the memories could haunt me anymore. The nightmares were a thing of the past. Sometimes it seemed unfair that we had to go through so much before we could have happiness but maybe it happened for a reason. Maybe it made us who we were today. Maybe it made us love each other even more passionately, made our bond stronger.

'What's on your mind?' Gerard asked me, noticing that I was lost in thought.

'You. Always you.' I replied, leaning against him with a sigh.

Notes

This is it...for good. The end of the story. I hope you liked this little epilogue :)

I don't have any ideas for new stories at the moment...I think I'm still struggling to let go of this one and will be for a while. But I hope that I'll find some inspiration soon.

Thank you again for reading. It means so much to me <3