This heart only beats for you.
My heads made up of memories, most of them useless.
"C'mon Frank!" Gerard yells as he tries to walk out the door and into the snow.
"Alright alright, I'm coming!" I shout back as I try to slip my boots on and struggle to tie my scarf.
"Frank, need help?" My mom says as she stands in the kitchen. Making hot chocolate.
"No, mommy I'm a big kid now." Yes, I'm five years old now, I can do stuff on my own. I hear my mom chuckle as I just wrap my scarf around my face and head outside.
"Frank!" Gerard calls out as he plays with Picket in the snow. I giggle when I watch her roll around it it. I run to them, but I can only go so fast when I'm all bundled up like this. My heigh also makes things worse as the snows already about three feet deep.
"Gee. Help mee." I call out as I try to walk through the snow. I see him laugh before he comes to me. I hear him laugh as he hold my hand and walks me thorugh the snow.
"Let's make a snow man!" He turns his head back around and I see his nose turning pink from the cold. But I can't say no to building a snow man. I bend down and grab some snow, trying to pack it into a ball. I fall on my but as I focus harder cause it's not working out very well. "Frank, go like this." Gee says as he rolls a snow balla round the snow. We both roll it around till it's too heavy.
"Wow Gerard, you're strong." I can't help myself but say. He just looks back at me and smiles.
"Now we gotta make the middle part." I watch Gee as he rolls a smaller ball. We both carry it on top of the first. But when we roll the third one, Gerard's the only one to reach the top. I watch the snow man come a live as my mom comes out. handing us raspberries and a ccarrot for the nose. Gee wraps a scarf around him while I poke the stick in for the arms.
We both just stand there and look at the snow man before my mom calls us back inside. "Frank....Frank..... Frank!"
I open my eyes and find my mom standing in front of me while Picket still chills under my arm... I must've been dreaming...
I look at my mom as she's dressed in her nurse uniform. "Hunny, what happened? The neighbors called the police saying there was yelling and swearing.." I start to sob again as she goes on. I remember it all. It's coming back to me. "Frank, are you okay?" I feel both her's and Picket's embrace. I hold Picket tighter as she's snuggled up at my chest.
"Mom... promise you'll never leave me.." I cry out, hold Picket even tighter. I feel my mom's embrace grow tighter.
"Oh, god Frank. I promise. but why on earth are you on the floor?" She whipes away my tears before going at it on hers.
"Death held me in his arms.. and kissed me goodnight." I look up to her, my body breaks down but my tears stop. My head starts to get dizzy as my mom helps me stand up. Helping me back to my bed. I lay myself down and Picket comes too. We sneak under the covers and before I know it.. we're both asleep.
So that was it. Gerard left but life carried on. I spent the rest of my suspension alone in my room with Picket. She never left my side unless my mom called her to go to the bathroom. Her food and water had to be kept in my room cause she never really left. Neither did I. I only came out to shower or eat. For that whole month.. I lost a lot of weight too, my ribs were sure visable as i stood normally. I'm just a mess. I'm broken. I'm all fucked up. What could I say? I was just devastated.
As for the rest of the school year.. I was kicked out of Chemistry. Meaning I didn't have any classes with Gerard. I didn't even snow up to my graduation, but my mom sorted everything out so I could go to high-school next year. But I guess Gerard's going to this fancy, smart prep school on an art scholarship. I guess I really was a lone....
"Alright alright, I'm coming!" I shout back as I try to slip my boots on and struggle to tie my scarf.
"Frank, need help?" My mom says as she stands in the kitchen. Making hot chocolate.
"No, mommy I'm a big kid now." Yes, I'm five years old now, I can do stuff on my own. I hear my mom chuckle as I just wrap my scarf around my face and head outside.
"Frank!" Gerard calls out as he plays with Picket in the snow. I giggle when I watch her roll around it it. I run to them, but I can only go so fast when I'm all bundled up like this. My heigh also makes things worse as the snows already about three feet deep.
"Gee. Help mee." I call out as I try to walk through the snow. I see him laugh before he comes to me. I hear him laugh as he hold my hand and walks me thorugh the snow.
"Let's make a snow man!" He turns his head back around and I see his nose turning pink from the cold. But I can't say no to building a snow man. I bend down and grab some snow, trying to pack it into a ball. I fall on my but as I focus harder cause it's not working out very well. "Frank, go like this." Gee says as he rolls a snow balla round the snow. We both roll it around till it's too heavy.
"Wow Gerard, you're strong." I can't help myself but say. He just looks back at me and smiles.
"Now we gotta make the middle part." I watch Gee as he rolls a smaller ball. We both carry it on top of the first. But when we roll the third one, Gerard's the only one to reach the top. I watch the snow man come a live as my mom comes out. handing us raspberries and a ccarrot for the nose. Gee wraps a scarf around him while I poke the stick in for the arms.
We both just stand there and look at the snow man before my mom calls us back inside. "Frank....Frank..... Frank!"
I open my eyes and find my mom standing in front of me while Picket still chills under my arm... I must've been dreaming...
I look at my mom as she's dressed in her nurse uniform. "Hunny, what happened? The neighbors called the police saying there was yelling and swearing.." I start to sob again as she goes on. I remember it all. It's coming back to me. "Frank, are you okay?" I feel both her's and Picket's embrace. I hold Picket tighter as she's snuggled up at my chest.
"Mom... promise you'll never leave me.." I cry out, hold Picket even tighter. I feel my mom's embrace grow tighter.
"Oh, god Frank. I promise. but why on earth are you on the floor?" She whipes away my tears before going at it on hers.
"Death held me in his arms.. and kissed me goodnight." I look up to her, my body breaks down but my tears stop. My head starts to get dizzy as my mom helps me stand up. Helping me back to my bed. I lay myself down and Picket comes too. We sneak under the covers and before I know it.. we're both asleep.
So that was it. Gerard left but life carried on. I spent the rest of my suspension alone in my room with Picket. She never left my side unless my mom called her to go to the bathroom. Her food and water had to be kept in my room cause she never really left. Neither did I. I only came out to shower or eat. For that whole month.. I lost a lot of weight too, my ribs were sure visable as i stood normally. I'm just a mess. I'm broken. I'm all fucked up. What could I say? I was just devastated.
As for the rest of the school year.. I was kicked out of Chemistry. Meaning I didn't have any classes with Gerard. I didn't even snow up to my graduation, but my mom sorted everything out so I could go to high-school next year. But I guess Gerard's going to this fancy, smart prep school on an art scholarship. I guess I really was a lone....
Notes
Oh yeah. Feels. more and more feels.
*impaitently waits for update*
7/4/14