This heart only beats for you.

As much as I'd like it to go on with Gerard, I couldn't. My stomach kept growling and I think Gerard felt it cause he pulled himself off me. "Dude, you seriously need some food." We both laugh.

"Yeah, I know. Can we go back to your house now?" I gaze into his eyes as he continues to sit on my lap.

"Only if you promise to kiss me goodnight." He lays his forehead on mine as I look back at him.

"Hmm. I think that'll work." I smirk before I lightly press my lips against his. Gerard's the first to pull away as he slides himself off me. I follow him as we pull our shirts over our heads and slip our shoes on.

"Oh shit. I forgot something. Wait here." I tell him as he sits on the tops of my stairs. I walk back into my mom's room as I close her windows. Before doing the same to mine. Right after I sit back down on my bed. I look down and notice how noticeable my boner is. Shit I do not want his mom seeing this. Just think about telephones. Or parrots. Omigod I hate parrots. And Cheesecake, ew and god damn meat.. blahhh.

Well I guess meat was the magic word, cause my penis started to fall back down again. Pheww glad that's over with. I jump off my bed and walk out my door and find Gerard sitting on my stairs with his head in his hands.

"Aye, yo waddup." I mess around as I lightly kick his back.. in a playful way.My heart drops when he pulls his head off his hands and turns around. His face is wet with tears, his green eyes have a strong contrast to the bloodshot in his eyes. "Woah, dude are you okay?" My blood runs cold as I try to sit next to him on the stairs to comfort him, only to be pushed away by him.

"Stop." he spits out.

"Dude.. are you okay?" I choke on my words as my organs decide to tie themselves in knots.

"No, I'm not okay. I'm not fucking okay, alright!" He slaps his hands down on my stairs before jumping up to face me. "Wh.. what just happened in that room was.. was.. a fucking mistake alright! God.. FUCK." i watch his hands pull his black hair, my heart hikes higher and higher up my throat.

"Just tell me I'm still your best friend. You're my fucking best friend god dammit. Just don't walk out like this." I choke on my words as I try to speak. My eyes sting as tears slip out of my eyes and cut down my cheeks. My body just cripples in emotion.

"Just forget everything, Frank. I can't do this now. Not after what we fucking did in that bedroom." His voice echoes in my house as his foot slams against my stairs as he stomps and point to my room. Oh hell no.

"Dude, no. We both fucking know you started that. Not me, okay. But you know what? I fell in love with you in that room. Why the fuck would you leave now.. out of all the years, you chose now? Just think about all the fucking shit we went through. You're just going to turn your back against all of it... turn your back against me... Gerard, I don't want you to be another memory on a dusty shelf. So don't leave..." My voice cracks as I scream back at Gerard. He's crying just as bad as I am. Why the fuck is he crying?

"That's just it Frank, I can't love you okay? I thought this would all be different.. but it's not. Life doesn't work out the way you plan it Frank. That's what you don't understand. You think everything you want in life will happen. But no, welcome to the real world ass hole." I watch his teeth sink down in his lip as he continues to pulls his hair before dropping his hands back down to his sides. "I thought I loved you, but now I can't fucking stand you.." His words hiss in my ears. His words are packed with venom and they bit every part of my body. I can't help myself but collapse on the floor. What the fuck does he think he's doing?

"Please... you're my best fucking friend.." I just stare up at him as he stands in front of me. My eyes close tight as I hear his smirk.

"It's funny, y'know. I always thought you were some big tough guy.. But no, you're guts are as short as your height. You're fucking pathetic." I feel his spit land behind my ears before he runs back downstairs. I can't even see anything. i just rely on the sounds.

'Lie to me!" I scream as he unlocks my door.

"I love you, Frank Iero." I just wish I could see his face when he walked out of my door. Walked out of my life.

I hear my door close, my tears just come down harder."God damn, I wasn't ready for this." I push my forhead down on my carpet. "You fucking idiot now I don't have any friends!" I sob as my tears soak into my carpet. "Fuck.."

Why this fuck is this happening. What the fuck did I do to deserve this, Moses? Memories just flash through my mind. Before it might've made some sense but now it's all fucked up... My thought cut close when I feel something wet and cold on my face. I only look up to see that it's Picket. She cries as she pokes her head under my arm. I hold her tight as we both cry. She knows my pain.. but you know what? Fuck having friends. Fuck love. Most of all fuck life. Just bend down and kiss my ass.

Notes

So many... feels.. so many.. song lyrics... and I stole a lot of lines from SLC punk. When heroin Bob died. Holy shit i cried so much. He was so cute with his mohawk.. but yeah. Don't hate on Gerard becuase in a while everything all makes sense. But this is an exact situation I was put thorugh, I was Frank and the other girl was Gerard. So that's why I put spesific feels.