2.

I had always shared a room with Gerard when I was home. Mom thought it was best if I had someone to keep me company, especially taking my condition into consideration. That's what they call it: a 'condition'. I don't think they understand that it's just me. I've always been like this, and I fail to see what's so bad. "We've cleared out your half of the room, so you won't have to wade through all of Gerard's crap to get to your bed," Mom says with a small chuckle, making me focus back on reality. We're walking downstairs, towards the basement in which my brother spends his days dwelling within. "If you want, I can make him clean up the rest. Doctor Ballato told me you like things to be kept neat, and you did seem a little picky when you came down for Christmas..." she trails off as she opens the door, and shows me in. Throwing an arm out, she gestures to the lingering darkness as I squint through my glasses. A light comes on, and the black quickly scurries away to be replaced with an assortment of Gerard's belongings.
The familiar peeling band posters and scattered comic books are reasurring to be around, in contrast to the sickening white walls I used to choke within. It's been a long time since I was last here. In a sense, I've missed being in a real house, even if I can't quite call it home yet. "Is that a guitar?" I ask, frowning as I notice the new object leaning against my wardrobe in the clean half of the room. I sense Mom smiling, and approach the instrument as she beings to explain.
"It's a bass guitar, yes," she tells me, her voice strange with something I don't recognise. "We thought we'd get you a little something. Doctor Ballato says you're very talented; somewhat of a show off in your music lessons. Do you like it?"
I blank her out, dropping to my knees as I lift a hand to stroke the sleek black material. I pluck the thickest string, creating a low, deep sound that is familiar and soothing to my ears. A smile finds itself on my lips, but I fall backwards before standing up. "He likes it," I hear another voice behind me. I shiver at the sound of it. "He's very talented. Aren't you, Mikes? You showed me last week sometime. Hey!" his tone is brighter, and he's suddenly bouncing around in front of me. He grins. "Mikey, you should join my band! We need a new bassist, what do you think?"
Confused, I blink. After regaining my composure I think about what Gerard has just said. "A band?" I ask him, feeling like an idiot. "Like being in The Smiths?"
His hazel eyes sparkle as he nods. Passion swirls in them, filling in the usually distant and mysterious orbs with something warm and inviting. He confuses me so much, changing his personality all of the time. Lindsey says that what my problem is. I have bipolar disorder, which can create a split personality that can change frequently and bring me from an ecstatic high to rock bottom over absolutly nothing. That's what ssshe told me, anyway. I have other 'problems' too, but honestly, I feel the exact same all of the time. Numb. I feel numb, as if everything is happening all at once, but it's so quick that it just flashes past in a blur."You know Frank, right?" Gerard asks me. I nod. "Well he's our guitarist, and we have someone on lead too. I'll introduce you to the others at school tomorrow,"
I know who Frank is. Whenever I come to stay the weekend, he always seems to be lingering in the background, giving me strange looks as if I'm a freak. He's visited me with Gerard too before, but he never says much and just waits outside, doing as he is told. "Yes, that reminds me," Mom is speaking again. I shift my gaze to her, turning around. "School. Mikey, I bought you some new uniform, which I've just put in your half of the wardrobe. Gerard will be around most of the day, so don't worry. If you get panicked or need something, just ask him," a smile lights up her weathered face before she nods.
"Thanks, Mom," I tell her, leaning onto my other leg uncomfortably.
"Yes, night boys. Take your meds before you go to bed, okay? Three pills, Mikey. One of each," and she dissapears, closing the door behind her with a satisfying click. I go to sit on my bed as Gerard walks over to the door and slides the lock across.
"Why do you lock it?" I ask, picking up the bass guitar. I don't really feel like playing though, so I quickly place it back against my wardrobe.
"Zombie outbreak, mainly," he explains."Wanna watch Dawn Of The Dead? Come over here," he pats his bed as he sits down, and I scrurry over as he fiddles with the TV remote. For the next hour and a half, I feel almost normal. It's my favourite film, and we watch it everytime I get to come home. Surprisingly, Gerard barely touches me as I pay attention to the flashing screen. He's leaning against the wall, his head rolled backwards slightly as he stares at the ceiling, thinking about something unknown to me. Where I should be watching the movie, I accidently spend my time studying him as I play with the frayed hole in my jeans.
The movie finishes, and we both stare at the credits as they roll down the screen for a few minutes. "Sit over here," Gerard instructs me, and I gulp before shuffling over. It's getting late. The room is filled with darkness, nothing but the odd glow of the TV shining over me and my brother. Gerard grabs my wrist and pulls me into his lap, before wrapping his arms around my waist. I don't say anything, just listen to the sound of my heart beating as he rests his chin on my shoulder.
"I need to take my meds," I tell him. My body is tense, almost like stone within his arms.
"I'll get them for you," he moves me back on to the bed, leaving me confused as he gets up. He returns with three small boxes, filled with the same pills that I've taken all of my life. His long, pale fingers fiddle with the containers before he finally manages to spill six small tablets into the palm of his hand. "Open your mouth," he orders.
"I'm only supposed to take three," I frown, backing away slightly. "There are six there. Not three,"
He moves his hand closer to my face, holding just one of the pills between his thumb and finger. "They'll make you better. Open up, Mikey,"
Hesitaintly, I do as I'm told. I open my mouth, closing my eyes. He pushes the first two tablets onto my tongue then tells me to swallow. Once they are all down, he rests a hand on my leg. "I'm tired," I tell him, making a move to return to my own bed. He pulls me closer to him, and I feel my back leaning against his warm stomach. After a moment, he pushes me away.
"Goodnight," he grunts, and I stumble over to the clean side of the room, where my bed waits. I climb in, feeling numb. As soon as my head hits the pillow, everything turns black, and I'm confused.

Notes

so mcr are releasing a new song guys.

a new song.

a song from mcr5.

previously unreleased material.

a taste of what could have been.

mcr5.

mike.

xofeb