I am afraid to keep on living

(Cassie’s pov)

We watched the movie eating popcorn. When the movie finished, Ruby Lee asked us if we wanted to stay there and do something more. I remember Gerard feeling bad, so told her that I wanted to go home and Mikey said the same, but Kindle, Alice and Jazmin stayed there.

Now I was walking home with Mikey. “Do you want to listen to Frank’s song? I have it on my phone.” Mikey said. I really wanted to listen to that song, I’ve never thought that Frank sings. “Of course.” I said.

Mikey picked up his phone and searched for the song, then he pressed play and the song started.

1 2 3
All alone now, nothing feels right
just find ways to cope with feelings that you
don't understand, because no one really cares how
you feel just as long as you act how everyone
else expects you to act.

My friends we can do anything
with science, except say goodbye
but I'm trying to hold on to anything
and not mess up everything.

Everyone hates me, I hate all of you.
I tried to adjust, but I'm young, and screwed up
how do you expect me to believe when you were my age
you didn't... 1 2 3

My friends we can do anything with science,
except maybe die. But I'm trying to hold on to everything
and not mess up everything, everything, everything...
Why does right and wrong seem so far away?
But if I had my way, but if I had my way we would all
be sorry...

My friends we can do anything, but should we?
If things end up so... blah, blah, blah
I'm trying to hold on to what I love,
and not mess up everything...
I mess up everything...
No one cares anyway…

“Wow, this song is amazing.” I said. I didn’t expect that Frank sings like that, he is really good. That reminded me of Gerard singing and playing his guitar. His singing is amazing, also he plays very well the guitar and his drawing skills are incredible while I can’t do anything right, I’m a disaster, why is he dating me? What does he see in me? I’m not even pretty.

We arrived at Mikey and Gerard’s house and came in. The house was completely in silence. I looked in the living room but there wasn’t anybody, I looked in Gerard’s room, the same.Then I went to the kitchen and saw Gerard there, eating a sandwich.

He looked at me. “Oh, hey. Where were you?” He asked. “We were at Ruby’s house. Are you feeling better?” I said. “Well, more or less… By the way, I wanted to apologize of what I did yesterday.” He said. “Oh, it doesn’t matter.” I said and smiled. He gave me an awkward smile, but it quickly faded. “I think I’m going to bed.” He said and went out of the kitchen. I could feel that something wasn’t okay, Gerard was acting very weird.

I came into his room and saw him laying on the bed with the eyes open. “Gee, what’s wrong?” I asked calling him like Frank did yesterday. He looked at me scared. “Where did you get that name from?” He asked. “Frank called you like that yesterday.” I said and he looked relieved. “Okay, but please, don’t call me like that, I don’t like it…” He said. “Okay. By the way, I was thinking that tomorrow we can go-” “I can’t. I… I.. A… A friend called me to hang out tomorrow.” He interrupted me nervously. Okay, something was going on, and it has something to do with that friend.

Notes

I'm feeling better now :)