I wrap my arms around Gerard, I can feel his breathing next to mine, and I know he's not really sleeping. "Gee?" I let go, and roll onto my back. He turns toward me, I can barely see the outline of his face in the darkness. "Yes?" I sigh, reaching out and grabbing his hand. "What did you say to Clementine? You know, when you whispered to her? What did you say?" I rub the palm of his hand gently with my thumb. "I- I-" he sighs, avoiding my gaze. "I- uhm. I told her that everything will be okay." he's lying to me, Gerard never lies to me. Gerard never lies to anyone, plus he's a horrible liar. It's blatantly obvious when he lies. "No. I know you said something else." he rolls back over. "I don't think its a good time to talk about this-" I sit up "Gerard, when would a good time be? I don't ever see you anymore because of work- and school. Plus, whenever you are here, you're so distant. I don't understand why you're being like this. You've been shutting me out, and- and-" my eyes are tearing up, I shake my head, wiping the tears from my eyes. I can't cry, and won't in front of Gee. I don't cry around him, ever. He's only seen my cry once... and that was the day that I found out that my parents had left. I showed up on his doorstep with only a backpack and a guitar case, I was covered in bruises and I cried for so long. But he bore with me, he hugged me for hours, while I just cried. He sits up, looking surprised that I'd even gone this far. The whole Clementine thing set me off and now I just need to tell him. It's healthy for a relationship to have an argument every once and a while, right? I've never argued with Gerard. He's always so calm and laid back, unlike me. Whenever I get too angry and start throwing things around, he just watches me, and waits until I'm done to say anything. "I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't know you were so upset about it-" I laugh, standing up. "You didn't know I was upset?" I raise my voice, rather unintentionally. "Gerard, I've told you how much I disagree with how you've been acting. But I guess you were blocking me out, again. I don't understand how you can just sit there and ignore me while I've been in such horrible pain. I was screaming out for help, Gerard, but you never did a single thing. Did you even listen?!" he cringes as I shout. "Frank.. I'm s- I never knew you were upset, and you know I would have tried to talk to you if I had known." oh god, the tears. "I've been so alone... and where have you been?" I wipe the tears from my eyes. "Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. I never knew... can we talk about it?" We continue the argument for so long, well... I do. He tries to stop it and just talk, but I can't. I'm so angry, and I just need to get it out. My anger isn't even really directed towards him, and I think he knows that. He's just trying to calm me down. I've always had problems with my anger, and he knows that.

"Gerard, I know what-" he spreads the kisses down my neck and to my shoulder. He lets go of my waist with one of his hands and moves it down slightly, closer to the edge of my pants. He laughs slightly, to himself. He grabs the waist of my pants and pulls them down slightly, slipping his hand into my pants. "Damn you, gee." I mumble, and he laughs. "You don't seem very mad to me." I giggle. I feel his hand slide down my leg, and I sigh. "Damn it.." He turns me around and kisses me, even in the dark, I can see his smug little smirk. He puts his free hand on the back of my head and pulls me closer. Our breathing gets heavier as we continue, and I can feel us edging closer to the mattress. Once we're in close range of it, Gee uses both of his hands to pull my shirt over my head, our lips only break for a moment. We fall on the bed together, still kissing passionately, I pull at the fabric of his tee shirt. He grabs at the wait of my pants and works on unbuttoning them, he chuckles "Calm down, Frank." he says between breaths. As we scoot further up on the mattress, he pulls my jeans off. "It's not fair, Gerard." I say, as he lays kisses down my chest. "What's... not fair?" he grabs the edge of my boxers, looking up at me "You've still got your pants on!" he smiles and pulls his pants off. He throws them across the room, blindly and looks back to me. He sits on his knees above me, and pulls my boxers down to my ankles, where I kick them off. He looks down at me and smirks, he lays down on top of me and kisses my neck, once. His lips wander back to mine and we lay there for a while, exchanging passionate kisses.

“Holy shit.” Gerard laughs, taking a drag of his cigarette, and exhaling slowly. He’s sitting at the end of the bed, I’m staring at the ceiling, counting the cracks. I’ve done this a lot, I already know. But, maybe I was wrong all of these times? “You took the words right out of my mouth.” he stands up and walks around to his side of the mattress, putting the cigarette out in the ash tray. He lays down and scoots closer to me, resting his head on my chest. He sighs, “I love you, Frank.” I stare at the ceiling, not really sure what to do. Gerard has never said that or any alternative before, he’s not even talked about love before. I don’t know what love is- is it this? “Frank?” I run my fingers through his raven black hair, a small smile forming on my lips. There are 21 cracks on the ceiling. One more than the last time, see? I told you. I need to keep them in check. On the topic of love, that makes me think of my dreams. The flurries of snow… it was so blinding. It felt like heaven, it was the most beautiful place I’d ever seen, of course I’d never been there before. The only thing that had brought me down to earth was the girl. She was on her knees in the snow, crying. Her dark hair falling in front of her face, I kneel down, trying to comfort her… but who is she? I move the hair from her face… oh my god. Those eyes. “Clementine…” I open my eyes and I’m back in our room, staring at the ceiling. Gerard sits up, looking down at me “F-Frank?” he moves a strand of hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear. I sit up, propping myself against the wall. “Hmm?” he looks down at his hands. “You- you said Clementine.” Oh, shit. “Oh- I- I was only thinking.” he shakes his head and stands up, walking to the door, he looks back “Frank… had you ever met Clementine before today?” I shake my head. He sighs, turning. He takes a step forward “Gerard! Wait!” he continues walking. “I was thinking about a dream, Gee. Please, just wait.” he sighs, stopping. “Gerard, don’t leave… please.” he leans against the doorway, laying his head back. “Jesus, Frank. Life would be a lot easier if you weren’t so god damn cute.” he chuckles quietly to himself, and comes back and sits at the edge of the mattress again. “What was the dream?” the corner of his mouth is twitching, I hope he doesn’t smoke another cigarette, he needs to stop. Those things are going to kill him.

Notes

Uh I kind of made them have sex and there were like two paragraphs of it but there was one sentence that made me have a heart attack every time I tried to write more so I just deleted them and skipped ahead. #sorrynotsorry you get the point, right?