Like Ghosts in the Snow

I sit up, a cold sweat born on my brow. I’m breathing heavily, having been startled from my sleep by the horrors of my sleep. I search in the bed for Gee, not able to see in the darkness. I feel his arm where I had been laying, he’s sitting up, watching me. “Frank, what’s wrong?” he mumbles, I can tell he’s mostly asleep. I shrug, looking down at my hands. I’d apparently kicked the blanket off of the bed, “It was a dream…” I shake my head, wiping my brow. I crawl to the end of the mattress and grab the blanket. I pull it back over us, “what was it?” Gerard asks, grabbing my hand and holding it in his. I shake my head, he sighs. “Frank, you owe…” he yawns “...me an answer.” I sigh, he lets go of my hand and puts his arm around me, running his fingers through my hair. He lays his head down on my chest and his hand droops down, his breathing steadies. Gerard has never really been able to stay awake if he isn’t ready to be awake, school for him was the worst. Sometimes he would even fall asleep standing up, I mean, it was the cutest thing in the world, but I know it can’t have been enjoyable for him. I snuggle up close to him, closing my eyes again. I won’t have anymore nightmares tonight, I can’t. I won’t. I promise myself I won’t, I just want some peace and quiet for one night, you know? Just one night of sleep, I promise…
I wake up alone, bright light is filtering through the windows, blinding my bare eyes. The room is very cold, even with the blanket wrapped around me. The smell of food is in the air, and I can hear someone in the kitchen. I throw the blanket off, the cool air of the apartment chilling my bare skin. There is also music flowing throughout the apartment, is that- The Cure? I pull my jeans over my legs and nearly fall when I stand up. I stumble through the apartment, shielding my eyes from the light. It’s not normally this bright in here, I wonder why that’s different today. Gerard is standing in front of the stove, dancing and mouthing the words as he stirs something in a pan. I stand in the doorway for a moment, watching him. I giggle as he spins around and I can see that the only thing he’s wearing are his boxers and his apron. He smiles when he sees me, grabbing my hand and pulling me into a kiss. “What time is it?” I mumble, running my hand through my hair. He looks at the clock on the stove “Twelve-thirty” he pulls the pan off of the burner, there’s a grilled cheese in the pan. “Fuck! Why didn’t you wake me up?” he grabs a plate out of the cabinet “Frank, you hadn’t slept in a plural amount of days, and even before that you only could have slept for about an hour” I sigh “Yeah… I feel a lot better.” He smiles, sliding the sandwich onto the plate with his fingers, cringing as he touches the top. “You look a lot better” he holds the plate out to me, I take it and shove the sandwich in my mouth. “Thanks, Gee.” he smiles “Well I have to go to school anyway.” he sighs, “Why?” I take the sandwich out of my mouth, continuing the sentence with barely having chewed any at all “because” I mumble, through the food. “Is it that girl?” I shrug “I wanted to make sure she was okay.” he smiles, throwing the pan in the sink “You just care too much.” I shrug and walk back to the bedroom, picking another pair of jeans and a tee shirt and hurrying to get them on. I put my shoes on and my million jackets, all while eating the sandwich. “Gee. Are you working tonight?” he shakes his head, not looking up from his book. “Nope. I’ll be here when you get back.” I lean over the couch and kiss him on the cheek, he moves my face over with his hand and kisses me on the lips, smiling slightly. I can smell the subtle smell of cigarettes, coffee, and acrylics on his skin. That’s just sort of what his distinct smell ended up as. I like it, I think it’s hot. “You wanna give me a ride to school or do I have to walk?” He sighs and sets his book down, he stretches for a moment, and then manages to get up. “Lets go.”
I don’t think Clementine is at school. Well, this was a waste of time. I’ll chill for my free period in Mr. Novelli’s classroom, it happens to be his planning period. “Oh, hello there Frank. Any detention today?” I shake my head. “Wasn’t even here for gym.” he smiles slightly “Any reason why?” I shrug “I hadn’t slept in a while and I kinda needed it.” He nods, looking down at something on his desk. “You still look tired, stressed maybe. Are you worrying about something?” I nod “A little.” he takes his glasses off and sets them on his desk. He spins around in his chair to face me. “Care to share?” I grab a rolly chair and sit down in it, spinning around. “Well. There’s this girl” he nods, I stop spinning when I feel the need to vomit. “I met her yesterday, she was staying after for uh.. a group session about depression, and she’d been sitting outside for an hour or so waiting for her parents, in the snow. So, I asked if she’d like to come with me. She did. We talked for a while, then my- uh- friend came home-” he raises an eyebrow “and he talked to her about something that made her burst into tears and we had to take her home. But he won’t tell me what it was, and I’d really like to know.” he watches me for a moment after I’ve stopped talking. He turns around in his chair, slowly. “What was this girl’s name?” he leans down under his desk and I hear him looking through a bag “Clementine.” he jumps slightly and hits his head on the bottom of the desk. He sits up, rubbing the back of his head. “Clementine Williams?” I shrug “Probably.” he opens a drawer in his desk and rummages through it for a minute or so. He pulls out a small photo and holds it out to me, it shows a picture of the beautiful girl I’d known as only Clementine, she’s smiling and posed for a school photo. “Yeah, that’s her… but why do you have a picture of her in your desk?” he sighs, looking down at the picture. “Shes- my sister.” oh well fuck. They do have the same eyes and… face…. and… everything. Well, I’m done. “Oh. But you two don’t have the same last name-” he shakes his head. “No. We don’t. I changed mine. I was too ashamed of my family.” oh. “Why?” he shrugs "Well, Frank... it's hard to explain." he puts the picture back in his desk.
"It's okay. My parents were so ashamed that they left me.." he looks up, his brow furrowed. "What did you do?" I shrug, avoiding his gaze. "I'm not really sure. I mean, I was always a pretty average kid. My dad was a huge d-" I stop myself, remembering that Christian is still a teacher. "-jerk to me for no reason. And my mom- she didn't do much more than him. Things were bad at home and at school. It wasn't so bad in elementary school, but that's when it started. I started getting bullied and pushed around a lot, but it got worse during high school. The same kids started going further with their games and they started physically hurting me along with their verbal abuse. One time, my Sophmore year, they beat me and shoved me in a locker. Well, that locker just happened to be that of a really nice guy, he went to open his locker after school and I fell out, dishoveled and bleeding. Instead of freaking out, he helped me. After that, we got really close. Junior year... my parents packed up and left without me. I went home to find the house locked and my stuff on the lawn. I didn't know what to do really, so I showed up at his ouse, a sobbing mess. He took me in, really. " Christian is smiling, slightly. "Frank, I don't really mean to pry. But the way you talk about him- are you two-" he pauses, looking uncertain. I nod. He smiles. "Do I know him?" hmm, did he teach last year? I think he did. This is his second year... "You might-" he raises his eyebrows "May I have a name?" I sigh thinking it over. He doesn't really care about a whole lot of things, he looked thrilled that I had a boyfriend. I don't think he really cared about the fact that its a guy, just the fact that I have someone. I don't know. "Um... Gerard Way" he nods. "I think I know him. Black hair- always sleeping? Eh. He got detention quite a lot, for a senior. Like someone I know" he gives me a stink eye. I shrug "What can I say. Yeah that sounds like him." he sighs "And- I don't think you meant to open up to me like that. I would return my reason for changing my name, but I think you need to talk to my darling Clementine about that."

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