Someone Out There Loves You

Chloe POV

I wasn’t fully aware of what I was doing, or where I was going. I felt like I was having an out of body experience, like it wasn’t really me in this body. It wasn’t Chloe who was walking down the middle of the street, pushing her way through the throng of the busy city, thoughts only on one thing as I bumped and pushed through the crowd.

There was a feeling of blank numbness, yet underneath there was a simmering fury that was like nothing I had ever experienced before. My actions were primitive, without conscious thought. All I knew was that I had to get to Gillian. Tear her apart, break her down, destroy her, just like she had destroyed the happiness I had fleetingly had.

The address on her business card was familiar to me; it was only a few blocks away from where I worked myself, and in the same building that Andrea worked in. I didn’t have a plan in place as I stormed towards Gillian’s office; if I had been in my rational mind, and not a puddle of hurt, anger and resentment rolled into one, things might have turned out very differently.

It wasn’t a long journey on a normal day, but that day, it felt like I had only just walked out onto the street when I was suddenly outside the building. I didn’t give a shit about the fact that my clothes were dishevelled, my hair had gone a couple of days without seeing a brush, and I had yet to brush my teeth or wash up properly. My appearance had been the last thing on my mind.

I walked into the atrium, and with a quick glance at the sign above the reception, I found the floor Gillian was located on.

There was another reception when I reached the floor, just opposite the lift. I held my head up high with righteous anger when I focused in on the young secretary sitting behind a well polished, expensive looking wooden desk which ensured that a safe distance was kept between us. The girl didn’t even hide the almost scathing look that flashed on her face when she finally saw me. I couldn’t really blame her; I looked like a menacing mess as I approached her, certainly something that shouldn’t be entering such a well respected and renowned law firm.

“Can I help you, miss?”

“I need to see Gillian Adams,” I demanded, with no politeness in my voice.

“Miss Adams is busy at the minute. May I suggest you make an appointment-”

“I need to see her NOW.”

“Miss, as I already informed you, Miss Adams is busy with a case at the moment. I can give you an appointment for tomorrow if-”

I stopped listening to her, and instead decided to take matters into my own hands. Down the corridor, and on the left, not a few meters from here I stood, I could see Gillian’s name engraved on a shiny brass sign on a closed, glass door.

My feet didn’t wait for my brain to tell them what to do. They instantly moved towards the door with a speed similar to the frenzied pace I had walked outside.

“Miss, you can’t just go in there!”

The girl jumped out from behind her desk, desperate to catch up to me before I barged into Gillian’s office. My head start ensured that I won the race, and with a triumphant shove, I opened the door with a vicious push.

“You bitch,” I spat the second I laid eyes on the woman sitting behind a fancy looking, and certainly expensive, desk.

Gillian looked up from the stack of papers in front of her, her shrewd eyes lighting up with a look that could only be described as humorous. There was no real alarm or fear on her face. In those few seconds, I could see everything I needed to know about her. She was cold, hardened from experience, and as a lawyer, well able to contain her emotions. She didn’t show any hint of surprise over my unannounced visit, or the name I’d viciously called her. It obviously wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

“Have we met before?” She asked sweetly, just as the secretary rushed in behind me.

“Miss Adams, I’m so sorry! I told her you were busy, but she just ran in! I’ll get security right away.”

“I’m sure there’s no need for that, Olivia. I don’t think I’m in any danger from…sorry, what’s your name?”

I gritted my teeth, my hands shaking as I balled them into fists that were aching to punch that calm exterior off Gillian’s face.

“My name is Chloe, but that doesn’t matter. You don’t know me, but I sure as hell know a lot about you. Like your penchant for sleeping with male prostitutes, for one, and using your contacts to make sure they get in with the right people, in order to keep them under your thumb.”

I heard a sharp gasp of surprise behind me, reminding me there was another person in the room.

“Olivia, could you please leave us?” Gillian asked, in a sickeningly sweet voice that told me I was in dangerous territory. I couldn’t give a single fuck.

The door was shut behind us softly, and I almost felt sorry for the poor girl who was probably a bit shaken.

Gillian didn’t move, at first; her eyes remained focused on me, and I was certain she was deliberating how to deal with me in those few seconds.

“Well, it appears I’ve met the woman Gerard has told me about. I can see why he’s smitten by you.”

The sarcasm was heavy, but I paid no heed to it.

“And you’re the woman who needs to pay a man to get some.”

“What I choose to do in my spare time is none of your concern.”

“So, you admit to paying for sex, with my boyfriend?”

“So what if I do? I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am now, and having a relationship didn’t suit me. Men pay for sex frequently when it’s a more convenient option; why should I be denied the same convenience?”

“You do know prostitution is illegal, right?”

“As a lawyer, I’m well aware of the law. What I do doesn’t hurt anyone. In fact, I paid your boyfriend very handsomely for his services. He never complained once he got his money. He was nothing but a play thing I used for my convenience. He chose his path in life; have you ever thought about that? ”

My blood boiled. Hearing her talk about Gerard that way, like he was nothing, hurt more than if someone had been degrading me in such a way. Gerard, even with his faults, was still the most amazing man I had ever met.

“And you’re a better person, huh? Tell me, what does it say about you when you have to get your kicks from someone you deem lesser than you?”

“That I’m in control, Chloe. Is there a reason you came here, other than to try to make me feel guilt over something I have no shame over?”

She leaned back in her chair, and it was only then that I spotted the large diamond on her left hand. The disgust I felt only increased the second my eyes landed on the far too large rock. This woman was engaged.

“I wonder how your fiancé would feel about it?”

The words were tumbled from my mouth, having the desired effect when I saw her face pale. She managed to pull herself together, though, and once again plastered that smile on her face.

“If that’s a threat, it’s a very poor one. I’m fortunate to have a fiancé who adores me to the point of foolishness, and I doubt he’d believe the likes of you.”

“Even after I’ve just recorded this entire conversation?” I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and with a few clicks, I played back the conversation.

And that was when I knew I had her where I wanted her.

“Seeing as you’ve just admitted to paying for sex, I’m pretty sure I could ruin your career. I’m sure the press will have a field day, when word gets out that one of the city’s top female lawyers-”

“Why don’t you get to the point where you demand money for your silence?”

“Oh, I don’t want your money. I have more than enough. No, I want more than that. You ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, I’m going to do the same to you. You’re going to pick up your phone, call your charming fiancé, and let him out of his misery by telling him the truth, before I go to the papers and expose who you really are to the world.”

****

I thought I would feel a sense of satisfaction, or relief, when Gillian casually told her fiancé the truth in a matter of seconds over the phone. I didn’t get either. The lack of hurt showed on her face as she spoke the words, the absence of guilt or remorse was plain to see when she hung up the phone and looked at me with a raised eyebrow which held one clear message.

I didn’t win. I couldn’t. Not with a creature as unfeeling as the woman who’d stolen my happiness. She wasn’t attached to the man she was going to marry, he was only a pawn in her game of life, just like everyone else. He was a means to an end, nothing more. He wasn’t her entire world, the reason she smiled in the morning, or got angry as hell. I only felt sorrow, when I realised she was a woman who never knew passion.

Not like I had with Gerard.

I went home after the anticlimax that was my confrontation with Gillian. The hurt and pain was flooding back with a vengeance, and all of a sudden I was totally aware of how pathetic I was. I was dirty, a mess, a broken down piece of nothing, all over a man. A man who made me feel things I never thought I would feel again, things I didn’t think I would want to feel anymore.

I needed to scrub away the pain, and a shower was the only thing I could think about. I scrubbed, and shaved, and let the warm water wash away the ache in my muscles that I hadn’t realised were there. I washed my hair, and couldn’t help but feel disgust over the dirt that rinsed away along with the foam down the drain.

Then, I was on a mission. I needed to get back to my old self, at least in appearance. I decided to get dressed up, to feel pretty again, the way Gerard used to make me feel whenever I put on a pair of tight jeans or a clingy dress. I wanted to be that Chloe again, the one who was more confident, who felt sexy and wanted. Who wasn’t afraid to go after what she wanted.

And what I wanted, in spite of everything, was Gerard. He was still the only person who made me feel like it was okay to be myself, and I didn’t want to go back to being the shut-off shell of a person I had become. And just like that, I knew what I had to do.

With my heart racing, I sent Gerard one last text message.

I want to start over again. If you do, meet me in Deliah’s in an hour.

I continued getting ready, my heart still pounding incessantly. He didn’t reply to the message, but I couldn’t let it defeat my new found optimism. He was going to be there. He had to be there. I stepped out of my apartment complex, and hailed a taxi. I was shaking as I entered the nightclub by myself, and it wasn’t from the chill of the air. That night would be the beginning of a new chapter, I just had no idea how it would start yet.