"Mikey get off me!" I yelled trying to remove his hands from my arms.

"No! Tell me what bugging you so much from that night!"

i didnt want to hide anymore but I knew I had too. "I fucking raped you!"

"you don't even remember it was the drugs! Gee stop beating yourself about it!" He yelled

"mikey that's the problem! I do remember! I can't forget an I never fucking will! Now go!"

"wait...you remember.....gerard? Why'd you lie...."

i began crying again at how much of a freak I was why did we have to be related?

"Mikey I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"gerard you didn't exactly hurt me. Can't we just forget about it? It over it's done."

"mikey you can look past it but I will not be able to forget what I did to you just please leave me alone. I can't stand to hurt you anymore. And I'm making sure I'm not going to hurt you. So mikey just know you that your my brother and I'll always love you but I can't risk you getting hurt or knowing...just I'm sorry if I shut you out but I promise I'll stay healthy and eat I'll be fine just mikey please leave me alone."

"But-"

"go."

And with that he left me alone with one of the most dangerous things. My thoughts.