New life same thoughts
First date first chance
It had been two days since the night in the park. I had broken down and gerard held me the whole night. He walked me back home and gave me a hug goodbye. He apologized the whole way home while I remained silent.
I hadn't said anything to him since even though he kept trying to talk to me I ignored him. I still wasn't sure wether or not to believe him that he actually liked me. As far as I knew he was a complete homophobe.
Why would he suddenly become gay for me. I'm nothing special. I'm a suicidal fuck up that no one likes. I've never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend before. Alex was the only friend I ever had and honestly I haven't talked to him for a while.
Ive been keeping everyone out. I was in a depressed mood constantly then I'd remember id have to see my dad soon and I'd just get even more upset and then I'd cut.
my thighs were insanely cut up and scarred. My mom hasn't been home much lately and when she is she's sleeping since she's been on call.
There was one week until my birthday and normally I'd be super excited because for my birthday I was supposed to be getting a new tattoo this year. I was going to get a scorpion on my neck with my mom, but now my dad was taking me.
I was just praying I could get the tattoo and it would take up enough time that after it was done I could go home.
Interrupting my thoughts was my phone. I picked it up and it was an unknown number. "Hello?"
"Hey frank."
"Gerard....what do you want?" I asked apprehensively.
"Listen frank I know you don't believe me but please at least let me try to prove it to you that my feelings are real."
I stayed silent.
"frank?"
"how. How are you going to prove it because if it's-"
"no! No no I promise it's not what your thinking! I just...well will you go on a date with me?"
"A date?"
"Yes frank a date. We could do whatever you want. Movies dinner, shopping, skateboarding, whatever you want just please give me a chance."
I thought for a moment Before talking. "When?"
"Tonight? I mean of you don't want-"
"ok."
"Wait what?!"
"Ok. I'll go. Ill go on a date with you tonight. We can go to the movies ok?"
"Yea yea ok. Awesome. Thank you so much frank I'll get you....well when do you wanna go and what do you wanna see?" He said nervously.
"Surprise me. I'll see you later gerard." I said smiling and then hung up.
From what I know Gerard's a total cheapskate and I doubt he'd take me on a date if he didn't like me. I took a shower and didn't cut which took a lot of effort but I did it and then I got dressed.
I decided on black skinnies my black converse high tops, a misfits tee and a smashing pumpkins hoodie. I ran my hands threw my Mohawk with some gel and decided that I should really re dye the blonde on the sides Or maybe I'll change the color.
I looked at my phone Friday October 24 10:30 pm.
I sat and watched some tv until gerard showed up at 11.
"Hey." He said nervously waving at me and smiling. He looked good. He was wearing blue skinnies a black v neck and a leather jacket.
"You look nice." He said to me.
"Same." I smiled back.
"The movies at midnight but I figured we could go to the theater and get some snacks or something before the movie." He said biting on his lip.
"Yea sounds cool lets go." I said grabbing his hand and stepping outside. He smiled instantly when I grabbed his hand and walked me to the car opening the door for me.
"Thank you." I said smiling. I was actually happy to be going on a date and hopefully a real one.
He climbed into his seat and took my hand back in his. "Thanks for giving me a chance." He smiled and we took off.
I hadn't said anything to him since even though he kept trying to talk to me I ignored him. I still wasn't sure wether or not to believe him that he actually liked me. As far as I knew he was a complete homophobe.
Why would he suddenly become gay for me. I'm nothing special. I'm a suicidal fuck up that no one likes. I've never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend before. Alex was the only friend I ever had and honestly I haven't talked to him for a while.
Ive been keeping everyone out. I was in a depressed mood constantly then I'd remember id have to see my dad soon and I'd just get even more upset and then I'd cut.
my thighs were insanely cut up and scarred. My mom hasn't been home much lately and when she is she's sleeping since she's been on call.
There was one week until my birthday and normally I'd be super excited because for my birthday I was supposed to be getting a new tattoo this year. I was going to get a scorpion on my neck with my mom, but now my dad was taking me.
I was just praying I could get the tattoo and it would take up enough time that after it was done I could go home.
Interrupting my thoughts was my phone. I picked it up and it was an unknown number. "Hello?"
"Hey frank."
"Gerard....what do you want?" I asked apprehensively.
"Listen frank I know you don't believe me but please at least let me try to prove it to you that my feelings are real."
I stayed silent.
"frank?"
"how. How are you going to prove it because if it's-"
"no! No no I promise it's not what your thinking! I just...well will you go on a date with me?"
"A date?"
"Yes frank a date. We could do whatever you want. Movies dinner, shopping, skateboarding, whatever you want just please give me a chance."
I thought for a moment Before talking. "When?"
"Tonight? I mean of you don't want-"
"ok."
"Wait what?!"
"Ok. I'll go. Ill go on a date with you tonight. We can go to the movies ok?"
"Yea yea ok. Awesome. Thank you so much frank I'll get you....well when do you wanna go and what do you wanna see?" He said nervously.
"Surprise me. I'll see you later gerard." I said smiling and then hung up.
From what I know Gerard's a total cheapskate and I doubt he'd take me on a date if he didn't like me. I took a shower and didn't cut which took a lot of effort but I did it and then I got dressed.
I decided on black skinnies my black converse high tops, a misfits tee and a smashing pumpkins hoodie. I ran my hands threw my Mohawk with some gel and decided that I should really re dye the blonde on the sides Or maybe I'll change the color.
I looked at my phone Friday October 24 10:30 pm.
I sat and watched some tv until gerard showed up at 11.
"Hey." He said nervously waving at me and smiling. He looked good. He was wearing blue skinnies a black v neck and a leather jacket.
"You look nice." He said to me.
"Same." I smiled back.
"The movies at midnight but I figured we could go to the theater and get some snacks or something before the movie." He said biting on his lip.
"Yea sounds cool lets go." I said grabbing his hand and stepping outside. He smiled instantly when I grabbed his hand and walked me to the car opening the door for me.
"Thank you." I said smiling. I was actually happy to be going on a date and hopefully a real one.
He climbed into his seat and took my hand back in his. "Thanks for giving me a chance." He smiled and we took off.
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2/8/16