Kyle stayed with me all night and kept me company while I cried and drank most of liquor in the house; I didn’t know what to think anymore, and I was more angry at myself then I was at Frank. I was upset for being so naïve and not seeing the sighs that were so clearly right in front of me all that time, and I didn’t know if it was too late to save him.

I was sitting on the deck in one of the chairs; tears dripping silently from my face, sipping from a bottle and chain smoking, when Kyle stepped out on the balcony and gave me a worried look.

“It’s not your fault Nicole.”

I looked over at him and shook my head, how could he be so stupid? Of course it was my fault. I might not be the reason why Frank had started using, but I sure as fuck didn’t notice it either.

“Yes it is.”

I whispered into the early morning air, flicking my cigarette into the ashtray and looking over Belleville.

Kyle sat himself on the chair next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, not saying anything, because he knew that there was nothing to be said at that time, the best thing he could do for me was exactly what he was doing.

Time passed and the sun was now breaking through the morning clouds, casting a soft glow upon the snow that littered the ground; Kyle and I continued to stay outside , silently sitting and staring off into space. That’s when I heard it, the click of the bedroom door opening and vomit splashing into the toilet from the bathroom. I looked over at Kyle with a fearful look as he gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“It’ll be okay, Nic.”

I nodded and got up, my muscles protesting from sitting in one spot for so long. I padded my way down towards the bathroom and leaned against the wall waiting for Frank to come out.
He did so a few minutes later, hair disheveled, sweating and trembling slightly; he saw my feet and looked up at me, worry showing in his eyes.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

He asked walking over to me and pulling me into his arms, I rested my head against his shoulder for a moment, soaking him in until the memories of what happened the night before came crashing down on me.

My eyes shot open and I stepped away from Frank, wrapping my arms around myself; his face
fell and a hurt look washed over his face.

“I’ve just had too much to drink I guess and I haven’t slept. I think I’ll go to bed.”

I said in a hushed tone, looking at the floor. Frank nodded and walked into the bedroom. I followed close behind him and found him pulling a clean shirt over his head. He grabbed his coat out of the closet and walked over to me; he was so close I could smell of laundry detergent off of his clothes, mixed with cigarette smoke and his cologne. He stroked my cheek and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“I’ve got to go to the garage for practice, I’ll be home later.”

I nodded and watched him walk out the bedroom door, and a minute later I heard the front door open and close behind him. Kyle came and found soon after, and walked over to the dresser, pulling out a shirt and a pair of pajama pants and putting them on the bed.

“Have a shower Nicole and get some sleep. You look awful and tired.”

I laughed at him and wiped the tears from my eyes as I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso.

“Thanks Kyle.”

He ruffled my hair as we walked out of the bedroom into the living room.

“I’m going to go home I think, take a shower and get some sleep too. Promise to call me later?
And if you need me at all call me Nicole, I mean it.”

“I will, I promise.”

I walked him to the door and as I closed the door I felt the heaviness of solitude close around me. I took a shower and changed into the clothes Kyle had laid out for me, before crawling into bed and falling into a dreamless sleep.

---

I awoke several hours later; the afternoon sun shining through the blinds and warming my face. I walked through the apartment and noticed Frank had yet to return, so I sat on the couch and smoked some cigarettes before deciding I was going to head to the stables and go for a ride.

I pulled into the stables and went to Spartan’s stall, unlatching the door and going in as he walked over to me and placed his nose on my shoulder.

“Hey boy, you wanna go for a nice long ride?”

I asked as I stroked his face, placing a kiss on his forehead. I got him tacked up and decided we would go out on the trails as they weren’t too icy. We went on a nice long trail ride and by the time I left the stables it was getting dark out.

I drove towards Belleville knowing I didn’t want to go home just yet, so I decided I would stop by the garage and see if Frank was done his practice so we could both go home and have the dreaded talk about what he had been up to these past few months, and if he had been using drugs.

I pulled into the alley and parked my car behind the garage I had dropped Frank off at in the past. It had peeling yellow paint and a rusting garage door that looked like it would fall off any day now. I sat in my car for a few minutes and smoked a cigarette, listening to the radio play the Smashing Pumpkin’s 1979. I put my smoke out as the song ended and got out of the car, walking towards the gate that was ajar and went over to the door on the side of the garage. I placed my ear against the door but couldn’t hear anyone playing instruments, but I could hear hushed voices and the clicking of lighters. I placed my hand on the door knob, pausing for a moment before turning it and swinging the door open.

I was met by a cloud of smoke that smelled like peppermint gasoline; which I immediately choked on and held my breath. I looked up and as I placed my eyes to the boy sitting on the couch a glass straw looking thing attached to a plastic hose placed in his mouth, the lighter burning whatever was inside and making a crackling noise, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

There was Frank, eyes wide and focused on the pipe in his mouth; still not seeing me, one of the other guys sitting on the couch did though and when his gaze fell on me he nudged Frank’s arm. Frank removed the pipe from his mouth and exhaled the sickly sweet smelling smoke into the air and let his head fall back; when he lifted his head his eyes met mine.

He looked confused at first, seeing me standing in the doorway to the garage a heartbreaking look plastered onto my face. He went to say something, his mouth opening but no sound coming out as I cut him off with one singular word.

“Don’t.”

I raised my hand and fled out of the door, tears spilling from my eyes and making it hard to see as I ran through the gate to my car. I heard Frank call after me, but kept going; it wasn’t until I was steps away from my car when I felt his hand around my wrist. I tried to pull it free, but my body was shaking with sobs and Frank over-powered me, pulling me towards him and coming to stand in front of me.

“Nicole I…”

“Frank don’t!”

I screamed into the January air, my breath coming in sharp gasps.

“Please just…”

“Just what Frank? What the fuck do you want from me? How could you?”

He let go of my wrist and just stood there looking at the ground while I raked my fingers through my hair waiting for his response.

“I… I’m sorry.”

“Fuck you! If you were sorry this never would have happened.”

I spat, turning and walking to my car. I unlocked the door and looked over at Frank still looking at the ground, hands in his pockets. The next words that came out of my mouth were automatic and spilled out like vomit.

“Get your shit out of my house by the time I get back, or I’m throwing it off the balcony. Leave your key under the door.”

His head snapped up, and I saw his face contort in sorrow.

“I told you when we started that you had the power to break my heart Frank, and you promised me you wouldn’t do that to me. And look what you’ve done.”

He took a step towards me but I put my hand up and he stopped, tears running down his face, which he didn’t bother to wipe away. I opened the door and threw my purse into the passenger seat, adding one more thing before I sat in the seat.

“Goodbye Frank.”

I climbed into the car and jammed the keys into the ignition, hearing the engine turn over and putting it into gear before speeding past Frank, who was crouched down in the snow, hands in his hair, his eyes fixed at my car speeding down the alley away from him.

Notes

Sorry for the wait but here it is! If you caught my author's note from last week, the you will know I was very ill, but I am back to normal now so I am hoping to post nightly from now on.
There is only about ten chapters left in this story and then it is on to the sequel!
So please rate + review, and chapter nineteen will be up tomorrow!

Helena.