Cemetery Drive

I awoke the next morning to a cold and empty bed, the sound of the front door being locked echoing through the thin apartment walls; I climbed out of bed and reached for one of Frank’s shirts out of habit, realizing what I was doing I threw it back into the drawer and reached for my Crass shirt, pulling it over my head before grabbing a pair of black jeans.

I entered the kitchen, made coffee and fed Roger; squatting down to pet him for a moment before I trudged into the living room and sat on the couch, lighting a smoke and taking my first sip of coffee. That’s when I noticed the piece of paper sitting in the middle of the coffee table.

Went to the garage to pick up my guitar.
I’ll be home later.

Frank.

At least he left a note I thought to myself, tossing it back onto the table.

I sat around the house for a while, drowning in self-pity and boredom, until I decided sitting on my ass wasn’t going to do anything for me, or fix things and I might as well go out and do something with myself; if Frank could go about and live his life, who couldn’t I?

An hour later I had my car parked in front of the stables; I stepped out and walked down the row of stalls until I reached Spartan’s, who lifted his head from his hay when I opened the stall door and stepped in. He walked over to me and placed his muzzle on top of my head; something he always did when seeing me.

“I missed you buddy, how about we go for a ride?”

I said as I stroked his neck with my hands, he nudged my shoulder making me laugh and for a minute forgetting everything.

I groomed him before putting his saddle and bridle on, swinging my leg over and mounting him, giving a squeeze with my heels as we trotted off into one of the arena’s; I warmed him up for a good hour before running the barrels several times.

On my last go around the barrels, I lined Spartan up in position before letting him run, we rounded the last barrel as I saw someone standing near the gate out of the corner of my eye; I couldn’t make out who it was as Spartan and I raced down to the end of the arena before I turned him to the right, slowing him down to a canter as we circled the arena.

When I got to the gate I was surprised to see Frank standing there, his guitar slung over his shoulder, hands pushed deep inside his pockets.

“What are you doing here?”

I spoke breathlessly, Spartan walking right over to him and sniffing at his jacket, giving him a
friendly nudge.

“My buddy gave me a ride back to the apartment and when I saw that your car was gone I asked him if he could bring me out here.”

“Why?”

“Because I knew this is where you would be.”

I bent my head down, not wanting him to see the blush that came to my cheeks as I spoke towards the ground.

“Give me a few minutes, I have to cool Spartan down and then we can go.”

Frank gave me a nod as I turned Spartan around and trotted off around the arena.

After cooling him down and giving him fresh hay, Frank and I left the stable. The drive back home silent besides the flicking of my lighter as I chain smoked. We walked up to the apartment, where we were greeted by Roger dancing between our feet, making me trip right into Frank and almost knocking us both over.

“Sorry.”

I squeaked out, rushing past him into the kitchen and opening the fridge door, looking for anything edible and to busy myself from looking at him.

“Nicole, we need to talk.”

I pulled my head out from behind the fridge, and found him standing in the doorway looking at his hands; I slammed the fridge door shut; shouting.

“About what exactly? Oh I know maybe about how you left this morning in a rush after you hate fucked me last night? Or is it maybe about how we can’t even look at each other right now?”

My outburst had left him angered and he followed me as I left the kitchen, storming my way into the living room, he grabbed my wrist and swung me around to face him, his eyes boring down on me just before his lips crashed into mine.

We kissed for what seemed like forever, both of us standing in the middle of the living room, his one hand still around my wrist while the other caressing my cheek.

We pulled away from each other as I buried my head in his chest, letting myself sob; for him, for myself and for the fucked up situation we were in, I let it all out then. Frank placed is arms around my shoulders and held me against him, rocking us slowly back and forth.

He eventually lead me to the couch and wrapped me in his arms. His safe, strong grip around me calming me some; I rested my head against his shoulder, tears still rolling down my face, only this time they were silent.

“Will we ever be the same?”

I spoke as he tucked my hair behind my ear, I pulled back and looked up at him; his face radiating with sorrow.

“I don’t have an answer for that baby, I want us too and I’ll try my hardest to fix everything I’ve done to us, but I don’t know…”

I lay my head back down, and took a deep breath, his scent making my head spin; I needed him like oxygen, I wouldn’t be able to breathe right without know he would be there when I came home at the end of the day.

I was positioned over his heart; the sound of it beating making my emotions settle more and more as time passed. Frank had his hands running up and down my back, sending shivers down it. I sat up straighter and leaned into him, placing my lips upon his, getting lost in the moment.

“I want to make everything up to you, Nicole. I love you too much to let go.”

“I love you too, and I’m sorry too. The way I’ve acted has been childish and stupid, I guess I was
scared. Scared of losing you, scared of you and the fact that you have the power to destroy me emotionally, I was acting out of fear Frank and I never meant for things to this far. When you went to bed the other morning I thought that would be it, but…”

“I know babe, I know.”

He closed the distance between us and tenderly touched his lips to mine; like how it used to be; giving, gentle and full of love. I knew at that moment if we tried we would get past this. It all seemed so silly then; the angry words fired at each other, the coldness we both tried to portray, and the walls we started to build up around ourselves from each other; but at that time my walls were coming down and I felt his were too.

We whispered ‘I love you’s’ and ‘sorries’ into the dusk, holding each other the entire time, only breaking apart when I got up to feed Roger; who had begun meowing from the kitchen. We later decided to pop in a movie and settle into the couch, eating ramen noodles and sipping at leftover beer from the fridge.

We had put in Toy Story and were both laughing along with the movie shortly after it started; if felt good to sit on the couch and laugh with Frank again, and even though it had only been two days of unbearable tension between us, that was two days too long.

I had been slurping the last few noodles out of my bowl when Frank leaned back onto the couch and put his arm around me; I set my bowl down on the coffee table and rested against him, relishing the feeling of having him so close to me.

I looked over at him and whispered into his ear.

“I missed you.”

He glanced over at me with an understanding look in his eyes.

“I missed you too Nic, I missed you so much.”

I smiled at him which he returned, wrapping his other arm around me. We finished the movie and I went into the kitchen with our dishes, placing them in the sink, turning to find Frank standing there, his arms over his head in a stretch. I walked over to him and hugged his torso as his arms fell around me.

“I think I’m going to go take a shower.”

I could feel the vibrations of his voice through his body.

“Good you need one, you smell like shit.”

I giggled into his chest; as soon as the words left my mouth I knew I was in trouble. Frank pulled back with a look of mock hurt all over his face before grabbing the dish towel off of the stove handle and making a rat tail with it, chasing me around the apartment while I shrieked and giggled, screaming at me to ‘Take that back or else.’

We ended up in a heap on the carpet of the living room laughing at each other, letting the events from the last two days lift from our minds as we lay there exhausted.

I looked over at Frank lying on his back a hand resting on his midsection, his other stretched out beside him, staring up at the ceiling a soft pant escaping his lips.

“I thought you were going to shower your man stink off?”

His head turned in my direction; a wicked smile lacing his mouth. He rolled over and wrapped
me in his arms, nuzzling his face into my neck.

“What you don’t like my man stink? I thought you loved it”

I was laughing, struggling to get away from him to no avail. He released me and stood up, extending his hand to me, helping me off the floor before making his way to the bathroom.

I turned off the lights in the apartment and went into the bedroom, taking my clothes off and picked out a shirt from the drawer; it was the one I had thrown back into the drawer this morning, when I noticed it was Frank’s. I pulled it over my head and climbed into the bed, reaching for my copy of White Oleander, flipping to where I left off last.

The bedroom door crept open and Frank walked in, wearing a towel around his waist; he got dressed and sunk his body next to mine, his arm thrown over my hips.

“Good book?”

I smiled and finished the paragraph I was on before placing the book back on the nightstand, turning to face him.

“It’s very tragic, but well written.”

“You and your stories of tragedies, I’ll never understand it.”

“It lets you see that your life isn’t as terrible as you think it is. It makes you appreciate what you have; at least for me anyways.”

He pondered my words for a moment and shook his head.

“I guess you have a point.”

He placed his face closer to mine on the pillow and closed the space between us, his kisses tender and loving. I reached my hand out and turned off the bedside lamp, settling myself next to him feeling the warmth of him skin heat my own.

“Night baby.”

“Night, I love you.”

“I love you too, Nicole.”

He spoke before kissing me one more time, both of us falling into a peaceful sleep soon after.

Notes