"Scare the shit out of people. That way nobody will ever see just how scared you are."
Chapter 6
"I should let you know- I'm really nervous." Gerard said. Frances rolled her eyes.
"What's the worry?"
"I never used a model before." He tried to explain. He wished he could take it back- he could already hear how stupid he sounded.
Frances ignored him. She suddenly jumped onto the fence, climbing up. She clung to the fence, kicking her legs before she jumped back down with a thud. She laughed.
"What type of pictures do you want, anyway?" She said casually, as if she didn't do anything strange the entire time. Gerard wondered for just a moment if maybe he imagined it.
"Um, like maybe you sitting by the fence?" He asked. She shrugged.
"Pose me." She said.
It was Monday, and Frances and Gerard were both skipping class. They both had a silent agreement to just leave school instead of going to the locker rooms and wound up meeting each other at the park. Instead of asking each other why they weren’t at class, Gerard had just asked Frances if he could take some photos of her. She didn’t ask him questions and he didn’t ask her questions. That was the way he liked it.
“Just sit down by it,” he said. “And hold onto the chain, no not like that,”
He sat down next to her and tried to show her where to put her hands. Finally she said “Just pose me. Do it yourself.”
“I, uh, are you sure?” he asked. She nodded, seeming sort of bored. He carefully took her hands and tried to position them, but he was shaking just from how nervous he felt. He didn’t know why, it just felt wrong to be touching her at all.
She sighed. “Are you done yet?”
“Uh, yeah,” He managed to say. He took a deep breath and got up.
“Don’t look at me.” He added. “Look away, like off to the side.”
She did so and he took out his camera. He was still so nervous that he could barely get the camera steady for it. Frances looked over at him once and giggled. Maybe it was just to make him feel better, but Gerard couldn’t help but think it was because she was laughing at how stupid he was.
“Hey, don’t laugh.” He said. She giggled again, that same high pitch laugh.
“God, just calm down.” She said.
“Look back over there.”
She nodded and looked away. After a few more photos, Gerard suddenly had an idea. He just had no idea how he was supposed to ask Frances. Frances was weird, but he doubted she would agree to it.
“What?” she asked.
Shit.
“I was just thinking, maybe we should, never mind.” He quickly added. She laughed.
“What?” she repeated.
“You won’t go for this.”
“Stop caring about what I think.” She said. “I’m not a person right now. It doesn’t matter what I think. Right now, I’m all yours.” She added, a wild gleam in her eyes. Gerard wasn’t sure whether or not he should be happy, but either way it just made him more disturbed.
“I just wanted to sorta, you know, tie your hands back with the chain. Really loosely, though,” he added quickly. “Like, you’ll be able to get out of it easily on your own.”
“Okay.” She said casually. He paused.
“You’re okay with that?”
“I told you, stop caring what I think. Just go ahead with it.” She challenged.
Gerard got up, stumbling over to her and managed to loosen the chains, despite how much he was shaking. Then, very carefully, he put tied her hands back with them to the fence. He was terrified somebody was going to see them and get the wrong idea.
“And could I take off your shoes?” he asked.
She nodded, giggling. Carefully, he unlaced her boots and pulled them off, gently placing them to the side. He didn’t want to ask her for the second part at all, but before he could stop himself, he did.
“Could we cut up your shirt a little? Just tear it up?”
“Go ahead.”
“Are you okay with it?”
“I can’t exactly fight you, can I?”
Gerard froze, a terrible feeling in his stomach. “Please don’t say that.” He managed. She smiled.
“Fine. Go ahead, cut up my shirt. Yes, you cut it.” She added.
Hesitantly, he tugged at her shirt, careful not to touch her. Then he took out his knife and tore through it, but as the fabric ripped, exposing the side of her stomach up to a part of her bra, he jumped back. She laughed.
“God, you’re bad at this.” She said.
“Well how do you think this looks? You’re tied to a fence and I’m tearing off your clothes!”
She sighed and shook her head. “Just go ahead. Stop waiting for my permission for everything. Just take charge in it.”
“You’re really scaring me.”
“What did I tell you?”
Gerard didn’t have a response. He cut up the shirt slightly more, and then quickly tied parts of the ruined bits together. She smiled.
“There, was that so hard?”
Gerard didn’t respond. She laughed again.
“Okay, look down or something.” He said quickly.
“’or something’?”
Gerard quickly got out his camera and went back to taking the photos. She did look down, her hair covering her face. At some points, part of her hair would blow back, exposing little bits of her face, until suddenly, she looked dead at the camera, her hair all the way back. Her eyes were completely empty, dead, so completely different from the light that was always behind her eyes. It made Gerard shiver, but he kept taking the pictures.
Finally, he stopped and put it aside. He quickly went back over to her and undid the chains. She started rubbing her wrist. Her wrists were bright red.
“Oh, shit, oh shit,” Gerard quickly sat down next to her, looking at her hands.
“I’m fine. Calm down.” She said, an amused grin on her face.
He shook his head. “I cannot believe I just did that.”
“I’m fine.” She repeated. “Pass me my shoes.”
He did so and she pulled them on. Then she smiled at him.
“You wanna do me a favor? Give me your jacket. I’m freezing.”
Gerard nodded and quickly took it off, putting it on her shoulders. She pulled it tightly around herself and then looked back at him and smiled.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” he said. He watched her get up and walked down the block, not looking back. Gerard looked at his camera for a moment and then back towards her. For some reason, that disturbing feeling that he had earlier still hadn’t left.
"What's the worry?"
"I never used a model before." He tried to explain. He wished he could take it back- he could already hear how stupid he sounded.
Frances ignored him. She suddenly jumped onto the fence, climbing up. She clung to the fence, kicking her legs before she jumped back down with a thud. She laughed.
"What type of pictures do you want, anyway?" She said casually, as if she didn't do anything strange the entire time. Gerard wondered for just a moment if maybe he imagined it.
"Um, like maybe you sitting by the fence?" He asked. She shrugged.
"Pose me." She said.
It was Monday, and Frances and Gerard were both skipping class. They both had a silent agreement to just leave school instead of going to the locker rooms and wound up meeting each other at the park. Instead of asking each other why they weren’t at class, Gerard had just asked Frances if he could take some photos of her. She didn’t ask him questions and he didn’t ask her questions. That was the way he liked it.
“Just sit down by it,” he said. “And hold onto the chain, no not like that,”
He sat down next to her and tried to show her where to put her hands. Finally she said “Just pose me. Do it yourself.”
“I, uh, are you sure?” he asked. She nodded, seeming sort of bored. He carefully took her hands and tried to position them, but he was shaking just from how nervous he felt. He didn’t know why, it just felt wrong to be touching her at all.
She sighed. “Are you done yet?”
“Uh, yeah,” He managed to say. He took a deep breath and got up.
“Don’t look at me.” He added. “Look away, like off to the side.”
She did so and he took out his camera. He was still so nervous that he could barely get the camera steady for it. Frances looked over at him once and giggled. Maybe it was just to make him feel better, but Gerard couldn’t help but think it was because she was laughing at how stupid he was.
“Hey, don’t laugh.” He said. She giggled again, that same high pitch laugh.
“God, just calm down.” She said.
“Look back over there.”
She nodded and looked away. After a few more photos, Gerard suddenly had an idea. He just had no idea how he was supposed to ask Frances. Frances was weird, but he doubted she would agree to it.
“What?” she asked.
Shit.
“I was just thinking, maybe we should, never mind.” He quickly added. She laughed.
“What?” she repeated.
“You won’t go for this.”
“Stop caring about what I think.” She said. “I’m not a person right now. It doesn’t matter what I think. Right now, I’m all yours.” She added, a wild gleam in her eyes. Gerard wasn’t sure whether or not he should be happy, but either way it just made him more disturbed.
“I just wanted to sorta, you know, tie your hands back with the chain. Really loosely, though,” he added quickly. “Like, you’ll be able to get out of it easily on your own.”
“Okay.” She said casually. He paused.
“You’re okay with that?”
“I told you, stop caring what I think. Just go ahead with it.” She challenged.
Gerard got up, stumbling over to her and managed to loosen the chains, despite how much he was shaking. Then, very carefully, he put tied her hands back with them to the fence. He was terrified somebody was going to see them and get the wrong idea.
“And could I take off your shoes?” he asked.
She nodded, giggling. Carefully, he unlaced her boots and pulled them off, gently placing them to the side. He didn’t want to ask her for the second part at all, but before he could stop himself, he did.
“Could we cut up your shirt a little? Just tear it up?”
“Go ahead.”
“Are you okay with it?”
“I can’t exactly fight you, can I?”
Gerard froze, a terrible feeling in his stomach. “Please don’t say that.” He managed. She smiled.
“Fine. Go ahead, cut up my shirt. Yes, you cut it.” She added.
Hesitantly, he tugged at her shirt, careful not to touch her. Then he took out his knife and tore through it, but as the fabric ripped, exposing the side of her stomach up to a part of her bra, he jumped back. She laughed.
“God, you’re bad at this.” She said.
“Well how do you think this looks? You’re tied to a fence and I’m tearing off your clothes!”
She sighed and shook her head. “Just go ahead. Stop waiting for my permission for everything. Just take charge in it.”
“You’re really scaring me.”
“What did I tell you?”
Gerard didn’t have a response. He cut up the shirt slightly more, and then quickly tied parts of the ruined bits together. She smiled.
“There, was that so hard?”
Gerard didn’t respond. She laughed again.
“Okay, look down or something.” He said quickly.
“’or something’?”
Gerard quickly got out his camera and went back to taking the photos. She did look down, her hair covering her face. At some points, part of her hair would blow back, exposing little bits of her face, until suddenly, she looked dead at the camera, her hair all the way back. Her eyes were completely empty, dead, so completely different from the light that was always behind her eyes. It made Gerard shiver, but he kept taking the pictures.
Finally, he stopped and put it aside. He quickly went back over to her and undid the chains. She started rubbing her wrist. Her wrists were bright red.
“Oh, shit, oh shit,” Gerard quickly sat down next to her, looking at her hands.
“I’m fine. Calm down.” She said, an amused grin on her face.
He shook his head. “I cannot believe I just did that.”
“I’m fine.” She repeated. “Pass me my shoes.”
He did so and she pulled them on. Then she smiled at him.
“You wanna do me a favor? Give me your jacket. I’m freezing.”
Gerard nodded and quickly took it off, putting it on her shoulders. She pulled it tightly around herself and then looked back at him and smiled.
“I’ll see you later.”
“Huh? Oh, yeah,” he said. He watched her get up and walked down the block, not looking back. Gerard looked at his camera for a moment and then back towards her. For some reason, that disturbing feeling that he had earlier still hadn’t left.
Update, pwease?
12/21/13