Their parents were gone.
In the midst of the fighting, suddenly, their father stormed out of the house. Their mother left shortly after. It was always the same. Gerard guessed that he and Mikey had about 2 weeks before their parents returned. Truthfully, he had no idea why his parents even bothered returning, but he was happy that they were gone at all.
The only downside to their parents being away was how much Gerard had to suddenly worry. He was scared something would happen to Mikey, that somebody would break into their house, of anything really. But he didn’t show it. After Mikey was in the house, he told him that their parents left and then went up to his room to work on his sketches. After a few hours, he fell asleep.
Gerard woke in the middle of the night when he heard his door opening. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe, every single horror movie he ever saw coming to mind, when he realized it was just Mikey. Mikey quickly locked the door behind him and got into bed next to Gerard.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Gerard asked. He sat up as Mikey quickly pulled the covers around him. Even in the darkness, Gerard could see fear in Mikey’s eyes.

“I had a bad dream.” He explained. “Can I stay here? Please?”

Gerard was ready to ask why Mikey would want to stay in his room, but didn’t. He wanted to say that Mikey was already 15 and had to get over the stupid dream-he wasn't 4 years old for fucks sake, but he didn't. He knew Mikey was lying. He knew Mikey was scared about how their parents were gone. He knew, just like each time their parents left, Mikey wanted to feel like somebody was protecting him.

Gerard’s face softened and he nodded. He moved over slightly, making more room for Mikey.

“Of course you can.” He said. Mikey smiled faintly in the dark and pulled the blankets up to his chin. Very quickly, Mikey shut his eyes and fell asleep. Gerard stayed up. He kept trying to remember if he locked the doors, if the windows were all shut, if everything was okay for the night. In the midst of his worrying, Mikey rolled over and curled up next to Gerard, like a little kid. Gerard reached over and brushed back part of Mikey’s hair, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Mikey was still so young, Gerard thought. He was too sad for such a young age. Gerard desperately wished he could have prevented Mikey from seeing so many things, things nobody should have had to have seen, but he couldn’t. He could tried to protect Mikey, sure, but that didn’t always work. Sometimes it went just the opposite.

When they were younger, Gerard 15 and Mikey 12, Gerard had been suspended from school. It was for bringing a knife to school and stealing money from the other students, but Gerard hadn’t stolen anything. That part was framed on him, but nobody would believe him. The knife was only because several students threatened to beat him up after school. But still nobody believed him.

It was the first time their parents had been getting along in ages. Their parents were happy, there was far less drinking in the house, and for the first time everything felt safe. Until Gerard had to fuck everything up. His mother wouldn’t stop screaming at him and when he finally screamed back at her, his father came in and slapped him so hard his head spun. He couldn’t even tell what anyone was saying, but suddenly he had started to scream “Do whatever you want to me! I don’t care what you do anymore! I don’t care!”

His parents stopped yelling. The silence just made Gerard even angrier. He kept screaming “I don’t care what you do to me! I don’t give a shit anymore! Go ahead, punish me- see if I care.”

His father slapped him again and he fell down. But he didn’t care. He leveled his gaze with his fathers and finally his father nodded.

“We’ll think of a punishment. This isn’t over.”

“Whatever.”

Gerard ran from the room. He got to his room and fell onto the bed, burying his face on a pillow so that he could scream. All he had been trying to do was protect himself, and now look what happened! He fucked everything up. That was all he knew how to do.

He heard Mikey’s name get called downstairs, but didn’t think twice of it. He knew his parents were in a bad mood and he vaguely hoped Mikey wasn’t in trouble, but he really didn’t care. If attention was off of him, he thought he’d be okay.

He was wrong.

Suddenly, he could hear Mikey’s voice again. It was scared, distressed, and he kept saying “But I didn’t know. I couldn’t stop him!”

Gerard sighed and got up. He wasn’t in the mood to defend Mikey. He had no idea why Mikey seemed so upset though, if he was only being questioned. He was hungry too, and decided to go downstairs.

He was no sooner at the top of the steps when he suddenly heard his mother say “All right fine. That’s 10 for lying ,10 for not stopping Gerard, and 20 for Gerard.”

“No!” Mikey cried.
Gerard suddenly heard the sickening sound of a leather belt hitting skin

In a flash, Gerard ran down the stairs. He ran to the kitchen in time to see Mikey get hit again by the belt.

And again.

And again.

“Leave him alone!” Gerard yelled. “Stop it! Don’t touch him!” Gerard lunged forward, trying to force himself between the belt and Mikey, but it was useless. His father simply hit him hard, forcing him to the ground. At that, his mother ran to his father’s side, grabbing Gerard’s arm to keep him down.

“Stop it! This is for your own good!” his mother said. Gerard twisted to get out of her grasp but she kept her grip on tightly and he couldn’t escape. He could still hear Mikey crying as the belt hit him again.

And again.

And again.

“Mikey! Mikey!” he yelled. He could hear Mikey gasping for breath, sobbing, his face red and scrunched up. The belt hit again, and again, and again.

“Stop it! Please, stop it! Stop!” he begged. Suddenly, after another hit, Mikey suddenly lost his balance. He fell to the ground, moaning when he hit the floor.

“Come on, get up, Mikey.” Their father said. Mikey shook his head. “I said get up.” When Mikey didn’t move, he grabbed Mikey's arm and forced him back up, hitting him even harder this time.

"Stop it!! Please!!" Gerard begged.

After another hit, Mikey fell back down. He sobbed even harder, his entire body shaking, as he tried to curl his legs up to his chest. It looked pretty pathetic, this little boy, beaten so hard he could barely move, just crying there. Finally their mom let Gerard go. He ran forward to Mikey, quickly throwing his arms around his little brother, hugging him as tightly to him as possible. Mikey pressed his face against Gerard’s chest, sobbing. Other than the sound of Mikey’s crying, the room was deadly silent.

“Okay, fine. You owe me ten.” Their father said. Mikey whimpered, and Gerard pressed his cheek against Mikey’s hair, tightening his arms around him.

Their father left the room. Their mother paused in front of them, watching them.

"We're gonna make a new rule around here." she said.
"You act like a smart ass, you disobey us, or get in trouble at school anymore from now on, then Mikey gets the beating instead of you." She said firmly.
Mikey moaned and Gerard shook his head, tightening his grip on Mikey.
"No!" Gerard begged desperately. "Please, mom, don't! He didn't do anything!"
Their mother didn't say anything. Without a word, she turned and left. Mikey trembled in Gerard’s arms, his face hot, as he refused to look up. He kept his head on Gerard's chest, gasping for breathe as he tried to swallow his sobs. Gerard kept whispering soothingly with his cheek on Mikey's hair, rubbing his hands on his back until he felt a welt. Then he started to cry too, tightening his grip.
“Oh God, I’m sorry, Mikey,” he managed to whisper. “I’m so, so sorry.” His voice cracked and swallowed hard, pressing his face tighter against Mikey's head. "This is all my fault, oh God, this is all my fault,” he kept saying.

Gerard shook his head, ridding the horrible memory from his mind. He turned back to Mikey. Mikey was calmly sleeping beside him. He wasn’t being beaten or screamed at. He was safe.

Suddenly, Gerard leaned over and hugged Mikey tightly. Mikey stirred but didn’t wake up. Gerard leaned his head against Mikey’s, trying to calm down. But no matter what, even seeing Mikey calmly sleeping next to him wouldn’t make the memory leave.

It took a while, but gradually Mikey’s sobbing came to an end. He whimpered, still clinging to Gerard, and Gerard forced himself to stop crying. He managed to look at Mikey’s red, tear streaked face and say “Come on,”

He stood up. Mikey clung tighter to him, refusing to move. Gerard kneeled down towards him and took his arm. “Come on, Mikey, I’ll take you to your room.” He said gently. “Come on, you can do it.”

When Mikey stood up, a blinding pain seared through his body. He winced and keeled forward. Gerard swallowed hard and then took Mikey’s arm. “Come on, Mikey,” he said comfortingly. He half led, half carried Mikey up the stairs. Any movement caused such intense pain for Mikey, he just wanted to lie down and stay there. Just walking three steps was hard to do.

Somehow, thankfully, they managed to get back to Mikey’s room. Gerard helped Mikey get into bed, lying on his stomach since lying on his back would have hurt too much and put his glasses onto his book shelf- somehow, they didn’t even get cracked.

Mikey stared at the floor, biting his lip so tightly that it turned white. Gerard didn’t know what else to do to help Mikey. He felt completely helpless as he watched his little brother shaking under the covers, crying very softly, as if he didn’t have the right to cry out loud. He wanted to get Mikey something to stop the pain from the welts, but he couldn’t think of what to get- they didn’t have any aspirin or medicine anywhere. And either way, when he was about to leave to go look, Mikey suddenly cried out for him. Gerard quickly went over to Mikey and tried to speak in a soothing voice, praying that he’d be able to calm him down.

He sat at the edge of the bed, rubbing Mikey’s shoulders, away from the horrible welts, making small circles the same way their mother would rub their backs if they were ever upset. When they were little, if they were scared, or sad, or just lonely, their mother would always let them sit on her lap, rubbing their backs, kissing their foreheads, making any horrible feelings go away.
Now, when she was drunk, at their age, she’d sometimes cry and Mikey would run to hug her, begging her not to cry. She would practically be crushing Mikey in that hug, crying to them both about how horrible her life was and how they were the only people she loved.
'She has some way of showing it.' Gerard thought bitterly.

“I don’t like it here.” Mikey said weakly. His voice was tight and small. He shook harder, and Gerard reached over and pulled the covers up higher over Mikey. He knew Mikey liked sleeping with the covers up to his chin, because that was the only way that he felt safe. Ever since he was three, he’d refuse to go to bed unless someone tucked him in with the covers that high up. In fact, Gerard vaguely remembered his mother carrying him into Mikey's room on her waist when Mikey was still a baby, and her pulling a tiny blanket up to Mikey's chin to help him fall asleep.

“I don’t either.” He answered.

“I’m scared…”

“Me too.”
"I don't want to get 10 more..." His voice broke . Gerard looked away, trying to stop himself from crying again, because suddenly Mikey was crying again, so hard he was gasping for breathe in between each painful sob. "I don't want to get hit again! It hurts so much! It really, really hurts, Gee! I hate it when they hit me! I hate it! Oh, God!"
The crying grew louder, more pained. Gerard couldn't stand the sound of it anymore and he threw his arms around Mikey, hugging him as tightly as he could until Mikey stopped crying.
After a few minutes, Mikey stopped shaking. He yawned and closed his eyes. Suddenly, he was exhausted

“Oh, God,” Gerard moaned. “I’m sorry, Mikey! I’m so, so sorry!”

“Don’t be…” Mikey mumbled. “You tried to stop them… You know, it’s strange.” He added sleepily. He buried his head against his pillow. “It doesn’t hurt anymore. They hit me, and they hit me, and they hit me, but I don’t feel anything anymore.” And when that, he fell asleep.

Gerard waited until he knew that Mikey was asleep and then suddenly burst into tears again. This was all his fault. If he didn’t act like such a smart ass, if he went downstairs the very second he heard his parents yelling at Mikey, if he didn’t try to challenge his parents just for his own pride, or whatever the hell it was, none of this would have happened. His brother was beaten because of him. Ever since the day Mikey saw Gerard get beaten with a belt, years before, Gerard swore to himself that he’d never let his little brother get beaten. And now look what happened. He let him get that beating, he watched him get the beating, for fuck’s sake, and it wasn’t even because Mikey did anything wrong. It was all because of Gerard.

Notes

Isn't being tired and possibly sick fun? Julie will either update about a million times, or she'll sleep away her infectious disease because her mother won't let her miss school, no matter what.
Long chapter to make up for my absence. The second half of this story is supposed to be still part of the flashback. Julie hopes she didn't confuse anybody. Julie should stop typing in third person, because it's creepy.
comment what you think!