"Scare the shit out of people. That way nobody will ever see just how scared you are."
Chapter 3
As he walked home, all Gerard could think of was Frances. He wanted to hear her talk again, and to have her dramatic flair around him. For that short walk, he actually felt somewhat happy. It was the first time he had laughed in a long time, and he loved the feeling it gave him.
But of course, she was gone now. And since it was Friday, unless he somehow worked up the courage to go back to her house, he wasn't going to see her for a few days. That was torture.
When Gerard got home, he sat in his room with his sketchbook. Finally, he tried to draw her by memory, but couldn't. He could only remember her eyes- those two glittering emeralds. The more he thought of her, the less human she seemed. She seemed like an angel, a goddess. She refused to leave his head. He was still trying to put the pieces together and figure out just what it was about her that made it impossible for her to get out of his mind, when an annoying voice came from down the hall. Gerard exhaled impatiently and got up. Sure enough, Mikey had brought Frank over. Frank was sitting on Mikey's bed as Mikey looked through his drawers, counting out some money. Gerard sighed, annoyance creeping into his voice, and the two boys turned around.
"Oh, hey, Gee." Mikey said. Frank awkwardly looked up and nodded quickly.
"Hi," he said in his stupid, timid voice. Gerard ignored him.
"What are you doing, Mikey?" He asked. Mikey shrugged.
"We're gonna go to the city. Wanna come?"
"I would-" Gerard began. He looked at Frank and scowled. "If it was just with you."
"Gerard." Mikey warned. Frank looked down at the ground and Gerard smirked.
"I'll see you when you get back." Gerard called. He walked down the hall, then paused. He heard Mikey say "I'm sorry about Gerard. He's just-"
"It's okay."
Gerard smirked to himself and then went back to his room. After Frank and Mikey left, he went back to drawing the girl, who still clung to his mind.
When Mikey got home, Gerard harassed Mikey to come see the picture. He knew Mikey wasn't mad at him anymore. Mikey's eyes lit up when he saw it.
"It's amazing!" He said in awe.
"Do you really think so?"
"It's the best drawing you ever made! God, it's perfect!" Mikey added.
The rest of the weekend, Gerard worked almost obsessively on all of his drawings, only stopping when Mikey came to talk to him, or when their parents were drunk and fighting. Moments like then Gerard would have loved more than anything to just draw and stay in his little fantasy world, but he always knew logically that was when he had to protect Mikey from it. When they waited for their parents to pass out from drinking or storm off, they stayed together in Gerard's room and Gerard tried to keep Mikey distracted by telling him about Frances. It was obvious, though, that Mikey wasn't paying attention and finally he stopped talking and they sat silently, listening to pieces from the fight. At one point, Mikey started rocking himself back and forth in a catonic state, staring blankly at the floor and Gerard quickly moved to his side, hugging Mikey until he stopped shaking. Mikey suddenly dropped his head on Gerard's shoulder, and then shut his eyes. After a few minutes, he fell asleep. Gerard let Mikey stay on his shoulder, silently thanking himself that he didn't cut himself the way he wanted to.
On Monday, by the time he got to study hall, Frances was already seated. There wasn't any teacher, and Gerard felt himself panic when he saw Jay smirk at him. But no sooner had he sat down had Frances suddenly appeared next to him.
"Come on." She said. Without another word, she grabbed his hand and les him out of the classroom.
"Am I being kidnapped?" Gerard finally asked. Frances shook her head. She led him into the locker room.
"Come on."
"Hey, this is the girls!" Gerard tried to step back. Frances shook her head, giggling.
"I know that, stupid. Get on top of the lockers."
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
Gerard did so. Frances climbed up behind him. They sat in the center, far from eyesight and Frances quickly handed Gerard a cigarette. Without another word, she lit his and they smoked together. They couldn't talk, because they had to listen for footsteps, but that didn't matter. Just being near Frances made Gerard feel nervous, awkward, and excited.
But of course, she was gone now. And since it was Friday, unless he somehow worked up the courage to go back to her house, he wasn't going to see her for a few days. That was torture.
When Gerard got home, he sat in his room with his sketchbook. Finally, he tried to draw her by memory, but couldn't. He could only remember her eyes- those two glittering emeralds. The more he thought of her, the less human she seemed. She seemed like an angel, a goddess. She refused to leave his head. He was still trying to put the pieces together and figure out just what it was about her that made it impossible for her to get out of his mind, when an annoying voice came from down the hall. Gerard exhaled impatiently and got up. Sure enough, Mikey had brought Frank over. Frank was sitting on Mikey's bed as Mikey looked through his drawers, counting out some money. Gerard sighed, annoyance creeping into his voice, and the two boys turned around.
"Oh, hey, Gee." Mikey said. Frank awkwardly looked up and nodded quickly.
"Hi," he said in his stupid, timid voice. Gerard ignored him.
"What are you doing, Mikey?" He asked. Mikey shrugged.
"We're gonna go to the city. Wanna come?"
"I would-" Gerard began. He looked at Frank and scowled. "If it was just with you."
"Gerard." Mikey warned. Frank looked down at the ground and Gerard smirked.
"I'll see you when you get back." Gerard called. He walked down the hall, then paused. He heard Mikey say "I'm sorry about Gerard. He's just-"
"It's okay."
Gerard smirked to himself and then went back to his room. After Frank and Mikey left, he went back to drawing the girl, who still clung to his mind.
When Mikey got home, Gerard harassed Mikey to come see the picture. He knew Mikey wasn't mad at him anymore. Mikey's eyes lit up when he saw it.
"It's amazing!" He said in awe.
"Do you really think so?"
"It's the best drawing you ever made! God, it's perfect!" Mikey added.
The rest of the weekend, Gerard worked almost obsessively on all of his drawings, only stopping when Mikey came to talk to him, or when their parents were drunk and fighting. Moments like then Gerard would have loved more than anything to just draw and stay in his little fantasy world, but he always knew logically that was when he had to protect Mikey from it. When they waited for their parents to pass out from drinking or storm off, they stayed together in Gerard's room and Gerard tried to keep Mikey distracted by telling him about Frances. It was obvious, though, that Mikey wasn't paying attention and finally he stopped talking and they sat silently, listening to pieces from the fight. At one point, Mikey started rocking himself back and forth in a catonic state, staring blankly at the floor and Gerard quickly moved to his side, hugging Mikey until he stopped shaking. Mikey suddenly dropped his head on Gerard's shoulder, and then shut his eyes. After a few minutes, he fell asleep. Gerard let Mikey stay on his shoulder, silently thanking himself that he didn't cut himself the way he wanted to.
On Monday, by the time he got to study hall, Frances was already seated. There wasn't any teacher, and Gerard felt himself panic when he saw Jay smirk at him. But no sooner had he sat down had Frances suddenly appeared next to him.
"Come on." She said. Without another word, she grabbed his hand and les him out of the classroom.
"Am I being kidnapped?" Gerard finally asked. Frances shook her head. She led him into the locker room.
"Come on."
"Hey, this is the girls!" Gerard tried to step back. Frances shook her head, giggling.
"I know that, stupid. Get on top of the lockers."
"Why?"
"Just do it!"
Gerard did so. Frances climbed up behind him. They sat in the center, far from eyesight and Frances quickly handed Gerard a cigarette. Without another word, she lit his and they smoked together. They couldn't talk, because they had to listen for footsteps, but that didn't matter. Just being near Frances made Gerard feel nervous, awkward, and excited.
Update, pwease?
12/21/13