"Gerard!" I yelled out in surprise, dropping my keys with a loud clatter and crash.

At the loud ear jarring sound my keys made as they hit the linoleum floor Gerard shot his head up off his arms from his curled state sitting next to my toilet on the floor of my bathroom. I gasped at the look on his washed out and pale round face. His once sad yet wise eyes just looked lost, almost like he wasn't truly there. His black eyeliner was smeared across his eyes and down his cheeks, he looked like he had been crying for hours. Dropping to my knees I brought myself down to his level and scooted closer, opening my arms to wrap around his shoulders. I didn't know what was wrong but at the moment it didn't matter, all that mattered was that I had never in my almost year with him seen him in such a way.

"Oh Gerard, Gerard, Gerard. Oh you gave everyone such a scare. I'm so, so, so sorry hun," I offered as I got him close enough to take into my arms. Scooting my legs out from under my crouched position I sat more comfortably and brought him in close, forgetting that my apron probably didn't smell all that great. Course I didn't think he was going to notice. Especially when he started crying all over again.

"It will be okay, I promise," I whispered into the top of of his disheveled black locks as I held. Reassuring him just as I had reassured his brother and our friends not a few hours ago.
-xXx-
"Hey Gerard?" I whispered after about an hour on the floor. His tears had stopped twenty or so minutes ago and I figured now was a good time to get him to move.

"Hey hun why don't we get you up and get you into the shower, you're still fairly cold and this bathroom floor isn't helping any," I whispered as I rearranged myself so I could look into his eyes. He still had that absent look and only nodded in response. Shifting I stood and helped him rise.

"I'll be right back with some warm clothes, you get ready to shower," I offered as I leaned down and turned on the hot water to get it to temperature for a shower.

Taking his jerked head nod that he heard me and understood I left the bathroom to find some warm clothes for him to wear after his shower. I went straight to my bedroom without turning on the apartment lights and began digging through my warm bed clothes. Finding an Iron Maiden shirt, black sweats and a pale gray giant sweatshirt I went back to the bathroom to see how he was fairing since I didn't hear the shower running yet. As I rounded the corner in to the bathroom I set the clothes down on the sink counter and went to help.

"Oh Gerard you're stuck. Let me help okay?" I asked as I gently put my hands out and firmly grabbed a hold of the layers he was wearing on top. He had managed to get himself stuck and was fighting against the cloth as he tried to get out of it all the soaked cold pieces. Once he felt my hands on the clothes he stopped struggling and held his arms up, letting me work him out of his current problem.

Pulling his layers back into order I worked on getting the clinging frozen wet material off his body before he caught his death of cold. Clothes off his upper body Gerard let his bare arms flop down against his now bare pale upper torso. He didn't even try and cover himself up like he had the first time I had seen him topless, that proved just how out of it he was. Which I don't know why he tried to hide his body. So what he wasn't built like his brother, he still had the most beautiful alabaster skin that people around the world throughout time would kill for. Even if at the moment it had a slight blue tinge to it. Throwing his layers of shirts, not enough to be out in the current weather by any means, out into the living area of my apartment I turned towards my best friend.

"Can you get the rest or do you need more help?" I asked, not sure if I was trying to use my all nurturing nurse mode or get him to laugh by being crude. Whichever approach I was going for I got a response from him finally. He lifted his head at me and cocked an eyebrow suggestively at me before dropping his eyes and shaking his head no.

"Fine, take a good long hot shower and I'll get some things ready out here. There are fresh towels on the hanger there. I'll just be outside in the apartment if you need anything," I offered before giving him one last look and then turning out into my apartment.

Bustling towards my kitchen I flipped on a a side lamp next to my couch in my living room, not bothering with the large main lights. In the kitchen I flipped on all the lights while I stuck my kettle on the stove and turned it on without even paying much mind to what I was doing. I always had tea at nights during this cold wet weather this winter so it was second nature. Thinking about the billion possibilities that could have brought Gerard to my bathroom, or where he could have possibly been all day, I went about getting everything else on autopilot. I grabbed two large sturdy mugs, my bedside teapot which I prepped with it's bags of chamomile, I put two dollops of honey in the bottom of the mugs and squeezed in some lemon. I placed the prepped mugs on a tray along with the bottle of honey and more of the prepped slices of lemon I kept in my fridge. Next I went into my of my sink side drawers and grabbed out my hot water bottle, setting the tap on hot real quick so as not to waste any of Gerard's hot shower water. Once it filled I put it too onto the tray as well. Next I dug around for a spare box of tissues, which I took along with my bedside tray of items into my bedroom. I placed them all down on my large bedside table and then turned on that light as well.

Bustling back to the kitchen just as the kettle went off I grabbed it and poured it's steaming contents into my waiting kettle so the tea could begin to steep. Letting the tea do it's thing I went and grabbed the extra pillows I had on the couch and grabbed some extra blankets and went to go get my bed ready. I finished at the same time I heard Gerard turn off the shower. I ran to get the steeped tea and brought it into the bedroom and poured some into both mugs, placing the still full kettle on the tray. I popped my head out just in time to see Gerard padding out of my bathroom in my clothes bare feet leading him into my living room to look around as he continued to towel dry off his hair.

"In here. Come on," I said catching his attention before I stole back into the bedroom. While changing and turning down the bed I had changed into another set of my old warm sleep clothes. Gerard looked into my room like he was lost and didn't know what to do, his damp hair towel hanging limply from his hands.

"Here, just toss that over there in the corner on the hamper and then crawl in," I said as I patted the bed next to me. I had turned down the whole thing figuring this was going to be a long night and that there was more then enough room for the two of us in my bed. And I had a feeling all he needed was a friend, and apparently I was that chosen friend as it was my bathroom he had been found in.

Robotically Gerard crawled into the far side of my bed but scooted closer to the middle as I handed him a cup of water and two aspirin.

"This is for the remaining pressure in your head from crying. You're going to be in some pain," I offered as I handed him the items. When he had swallowed the pills I took the cup of water back and handed him his mug of tea as I crawled into my side and grabbed my own. Once I was settled I also handed over the hot water bottle.

"Put this somewhere, on your stomach, under your knees or at your feet. Somewhere where it's heat can do you some good," I instructed when he looked at me confused. With a nod he took it in his one remaining free hand and put it on his stomach under the numerous layers of blankets I had put on my bed this winter season.

I let him take a sip of his tea, eyes closed and head back, taking one of my own even before I turned to talk to him.

"So, what happened Gerard?" I asked softly, not pushing for an immediate answer.

"Sharon left," Gerard uttered softly, eyes still closed but sitting up straight. Mug of tea cradled to his chest tight like a life preserver he turned his head towards me and opened his eyes.

"She left?" I sputtered out, completely taken by shock.

"Not forever, just for the rest of the holiday season. She's gone to her parents up in New Hampshire and told me not to expect her until after the new year," Gerard uttered softly, looking too dried out to cry again.

"Oh god. Oh no. Why Gerard? Why did she all of a sudden leave? Was that this morning? What happened to send her off?" I asked slowly, worried about the state of my two friends relationship.

"I don't know to be honest. This morning was just like any other. I got up and got ready I was excited because I had plans for the day. When I saw Sharon come in from outside I was stoked to see her dressed and ready because I thought it would be fun if she came with me. I saw her dressed and as I sipped my coffee I told her what I had planned for the day and then she exploded on me," Gerard offered, still sounding as if he was confused over Sharon's reaction.

"What did you tell her Gee?" I asked, using the nickname I used on occasion that I had heard his friends call him. It seemed to make him smile.

"I told her that I was going to go Christmas tree shopping. I said I remembered that you didn't have a Christmas tree in your apartment since you hadn't had the time to pick one up. She then exploded all over the place! She screamed that I was fucking insane, that I couldn't go shopping for a tree for you because we were suppose to be going to her parents for the holidays. And that you were a grown woman and that you could buy your own damn tree if you wanted one. She went off on me, about how could I forgot about the plans to see her parents. And when I replied back that I had been unaware of such plans ever being made she freaked out. She said that we hadn't seen her parents in a long time so why wouldn't we be going to see them? She ranted like this was something we had discussed and made plans for when it had been only her planning on going to see her parents and she was just going to string me along, if she brought me at all. When I told her we could leave the next day, that I had wanted to get you a tree she exploded again. She told me I never listened, that I never did anything with her anymore. That my band, my friends, and you, took up all of my time and that I never thought of her anymore. She brought up Frankie's birthday paintball excursion. And when I tried telling her how we had planned on rescheduling it so she could join she just bellowed. She wouldn't listen to anything I said. She told me that if the damn tree was that important that I could go by myself, alone like I did everything else, like I would end up in the end. She then stated that she would be at her parents for the holiday and wouldn't be back until after the new year. And with that she left, pealing out of the driveway in her car," Gerard explained before taking another sip of his tea still clutched between his hands.

"Oh Gerard why did you have to think about getting me a tree?" I sighed as I shook my head at a loss for any real words.

"Because you needed one. You're always there, right at the front of my mind. Where my song lyrics are, where my band mates are. And I knew that you weren't going to have a tree and that made me sad. So I left the house and went in search for the most perfect tree. It took me hours because I'm ashamed to say I cried in my car at every tree lot I stopped at. I don't know why she left, I don't know what she was thinking and I don't know if she is going to be back," Gerard hiccuped before sipping his tea once again.

"Why didn't you answer your phone when everyone called looking for you?" I asked, remembering how frantic his friends had been.

"At first I didn't want to talk to anybody, I just wanted to find the damn perfect tree. And I think something about how Sharon said I would always be alone hit a little too close to home, and so for a while I wanted to really be alone. To see if that really was my fate in life. And then, well eventually my phone died and I didn't go back home to charge it. I came here once I found your tree," Gerard offered with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Wait. You actually got me a tree?" I asked, shocked that he had actually gotten me a tree!

"Yeah it's in your living room in front of your couch, next to your television. Didn't you see it when you got home?" Gerard asked, sounding a little hurt that I hadn't noticed his special tree.

"Oh god no I didn't! I didn't even turn on the apartment lights when I got in! My door was unlocked, it was dark, you had been missing for the entire day, so I was a little high strung over the possibility of an intruder. I didn't even look around really!" I explained, realizing I had done just that.

"You thought you had an intruder so you didn't turn on all the lights?" Gerard asked with a look on his face. I gave him an 'oops' look in return, I couldn't believe that hadn't been my first thought!

"Well I set up your tree in the stand that I had bought, filled it up with water and then just stopped. I had figured to decorate it next for you, with lights and ornaments right? But that's when I realized that you didn't have any. Like nothing at all. No lights, no horrible ornaments from your youth or anything. Nothing. Your tree was completely naked and alone, and I realized that you were too in a sense. And then that just set me off all over again. I remember ending up in the bathroom but I couldn't tell you why or how I ended up there. I just broke and that's where you found me," Gerard choked out, sounding like he was on the verge of tears once again.

"Oh Gerard, my dear sweet, odd thinking Gerard. I'm sorry that this happened to you today. I'm sorry that Sharon left, for any amount of time. It will all work out in the end, I promise you that. And you know I keep my promises. Why don't we go buy some ornaments tomorrow for the tree, lights too. We can bring the guys too since they're worried you're dead in a ditch tomorrow. And then we can decorate the tree too," I offered as I finished the last of my tear and put my mug on the bed side table. I grabbed Gerard's empty one as well when he let out a huge yawn and almost dropped it into the covers.

"Alright. Thanks for taking care of me. I don't usually do this but," Gerard started to explain but was cut off by another huge yawn.

"It's fine Gerard. Everyone needs taking care of every once and a while. Even strong silent lead singers. Now get some sleep," I replied softly as I scooted down into my bed. Gerard responded by yawning and curling into me, draping an arm across my mid section as he stuck his head against my side under my armpit. I looked down at him for a moment before deciding to just go with it.

"She said you were ruining everything. That I was drifting farther away from her and closer to you. I told her she was wrong. I told her that you were making Way babies with my brother no matter how much I disapproved. I told her that you weren't just my Jay Bird but all of our Jay Birds," Gerard muttered into the soft fabric of my old worn sweatshirt that was bunched across my stomach where his head partially lay.

"Shhh, go to bed Gerard," I said softly as I played with his soft and now dry hair as I played Sharon's silly words over in my head.

"Aren't you suppose to be doing you Captain's Log before you go to bed right about now?" Gerard asked from his tucked position.

"I'll do one in my head just for tonight," I answered as I turned off the light and settled into my pillows, encasing Gerard in my arms. There was nothing that I would let through my arms, even if for only a night, to harm not only Gerard but the whole mess of friends I had collected. No twisted words or misconstrued ideas. And without even looking at my drawer where my journal lay nestled with Gerard's beautiful birthday gift. And just as I had said I would I constructed my journal entry in my head that night.

"Peppermint vanilla hot cocoa though odd in origin soothes the soul of the bereft. Old ladies still match make like they were in their twenties. A diner is the hot spot for all a little cities misadventures. Jersey is speaking to me through it's children's hats and mittens worn by sad adults and through it's tears. Through it's ups and downs, through it's misplaced ideas and misconstrued facts. Jersey is speaking to me, showing me it's like any other place on earth. Jersey is speaking to me through it's heartache and normality."

Notes

He's found!!!