Jersey's Voice
Chapter 41
"Oh the holidays," Sarah a regular of mine said as I put down her order. I couldn't agree with her more. It was three weeks since Thanksgiving, three weeks since I had cried over my holiday meal. The work pace hadn't stopped or even slowed down since then, Reta hadn't been lying when she had told me about the holidays.
"I hear ya Sarah," I replied as I refilled her coffee without asking since she drank as much of as it as I did.
"I hope Reta isn't working you too hard. And that you're getting to see your friends, or even your boyfriend, during this holiday season," Sarah offered with a gentle pat of my hand. I smiled down at the older woman who always seemed to make it in for a meal regardless of the hellish weather outside.
"I don't have a boyfriend Sarah, but thank you. And no Reta isn't working me to the bone, if anyone is at fault it's me. She makes sure I get to see my friends whenever she can spare me. It's just the holidays," I offered with a soft shake of my head, my fire hair pulled back tightly under a blue checkered bandana that matched my apron.
"Oh but dear, I thought that nice boy with the dark hair was your boyfriend. You know, the one with the sad eyes," Sarah said nonchalantly as she grabbed for the pepper.
Dark haired boy with sad eyes? Mikey? But he didn't have sad eyes, nothing of the sort really. Who had sad eyes? Oh wait, Gerard. Could she possibly even think that?
"Sarah, Gerard isn't my boyfriend. He's dating a friend of mine," I answered softly, sounding a little sad and unsure why. I had plainly stated time and time again that I didn't want a boyfriend at this point of my life, but being alone during the holidays was still never easy. And truth be told I wasn't really alone, not with the friends I kept. It had nothing really to do with Gerard at all really.
"Oh that's a shame. His eyes always seem happy when he sees you working. Well that's that really," Sarah finished as she patted my hand one more time before turning to her meal. Out of the mouths of grandmothers I guess. Just like with little children.
I turned and went back to my work, whisking between table after table like an angel on roller skates. Though thank the hundred little gods that Reta didn't make me wear roller skates, we weren't that kitchy! Course I think that she knew that if she asked me to wear them that I would say she needed to wear them as well. And I don't think that Reta is a roller skate person, she's more of a firm two feet on the ground type of person.
The day whizzed by so quickly that I didn't even look up when the door chimed open around five. In fact I didn't look up until a familiar feeling washed over me as bodies filled in the counter seats in front of where I was rolling silverware. Looking up I smiled at my disheveled friends, all covered in snow and wrapped to the nines in winter apparel. Somehow Frankie had commandeered, or found, a Cookie Monster winter hat and Lifesaver striped scarf. Very fitting with the rest of his black winter attire, and very Frankie. I opened my mouth to harass them as I normally would but stopped when I say their bleached faces. All rosiness from the cold gone from their cheeks.
"What's wrong guys?" I asked, putting my rolled silverware down for the moment.
"Have you seen Gerard today?" Bob asked flatly as he stared at me hard.
"No, uh," I started to reply but was interrupted.
"We can't find Gee Bear anywhere! No one's seen him all day and something went wrong I just know it!" Frankie wailed out as he dropped his head to the counter into his mitten covered hands. I felt my jaw drop as Bob put an arm around the shoulders of my crying friend.
"Uh, what? When did? When did this happen?" I asked, looking at the faces of Bob, Ray and Mikey each.
"Jay we haven't seen him all day. We saw Sharon peeling out of the driveway this morning but that's it. He hasn't answered his phone, it's going straight to voicemail now so it's probably off or dead. And Sharon only answered once saying she had no idea where he was. If not such a nice way, but the point was clear. Oh Jay what are we," Mikey sputtered out, his worry painted across his face and riding in the tears unshed in the corner of his eyes. Instinctively I reached and grabbed his ice cold hands with my own.
"Oh Mikey don'y worry, we'll find him," I offered soothingly as I leaned forward and kissed his frozen digits between my own warm ones. As my lips touched his frozen skin there was a crash from outback which caused the lot of us to whip around and stare out through the kitchen entrance into the diner.
"Nothing, pay it no mind. I just dropped something is all," Ernie came out with his face all blustered as he waved his hands around as if he was trying to cover as much of the open space around him as he could. With a nod of our heads we turned back to the front of the diner.
"Like I said, we'll find him. Don't worry. Now let's get something hot into you four before what friends I've got left turn into popsicles. I'll even make you peppermint and vanilla hot cocoa Frankie," I offered softly, a small smile on the corner of my mouth as I tried to pry Frankie's head off the counter.
"Okay," Frankie sniffled softly as he sat up, rubbing his nose on the back of his black winter hoodie.
"Good, let's get you guys food," I supplied reassuringly before turning back to Reta with pleading eyes before placing an order for the four of them. Reta just smiled in that way that told me not to worry and that everything would be okay, and I really hoped that she was right.
-xXx-
"Reta I'm done for the night!" I called out into the kitchen as I tiredly dumped my work items into their respective places beside the back counter. The hours after the guys had left had dragged on and on for what felt like years. My feet felt like they were made out of lead, my hands had ceased to function, and I still had yet to hear anything about Gerard. I had sent the guys home after they had all eaten, promising to try Gerard on my breaks when I could. And that I would spread the word that we were looking for him to every regular that came in that knew who he was.
"Remember you have tomorrow off my dear! I don't want to see you down here! It's going to be the last time I can really give you off before Christmas hits next week!" Reta called out in reply as she came out into the diner where you were standing, broom in hand with her sleeves rolled up even in this weather!
"Don't worry I remember! Night Ernie! Sam!" I called back into the bowels of the kitchen where I knew the two to be, probably going over some cooking technique or what have you.
With a wave into the empty air that I knew they saw I made my way into the back stairwell that was my entryway. Shutting the diner door locked behind me I grabbed a cigarette out of my dingy apron, making a mental note to wash it tomorrow before it got up and walked away from me. Lighting the cancer stick between my lips I trudged my way wearily up the stairs to my locked door. Once I hit the landing I put my hand on my doorknob and realized it was unlocked, very much not the way I had left it. A sudden wave of deja vu swept over me as I opened my door and stepped into my apartment, lit cigarette in hand still but now brandished as a weak weapon.
"Hello?" I called into my apartment as I slowly entered, leaving my door open incase I need to make a quick exit. Putting my half smoked cigarette out in the ashtray next to the door I switched my keys into my dominant hand and put the few keys between my knuckles, my attack earlier in the year had taught me something at least. Not turning on the lights for some reason I crept further into my apartment and called out again.
"Hello?" My voice echoed through the apartment and I stopped to listen for any sort of response or noise. Not that I thought a burglar would shout back any type of response but it was worth a try. And as I strained to hear anything I finally did, the barest scuffle that seemed to be coming from the bathroom. Gathering my courage about myself I silently crept towards my bathroom, keys still between my knuckles and my breath held in my chest. As I neared the door I pushed it open before quickly flicking my hand in like lightening to turn on the light.
"I hear ya Sarah," I replied as I refilled her coffee without asking since she drank as much of as it as I did.
"I hope Reta isn't working you too hard. And that you're getting to see your friends, or even your boyfriend, during this holiday season," Sarah offered with a gentle pat of my hand. I smiled down at the older woman who always seemed to make it in for a meal regardless of the hellish weather outside.
"I don't have a boyfriend Sarah, but thank you. And no Reta isn't working me to the bone, if anyone is at fault it's me. She makes sure I get to see my friends whenever she can spare me. It's just the holidays," I offered with a soft shake of my head, my fire hair pulled back tightly under a blue checkered bandana that matched my apron.
"Oh but dear, I thought that nice boy with the dark hair was your boyfriend. You know, the one with the sad eyes," Sarah said nonchalantly as she grabbed for the pepper.
Dark haired boy with sad eyes? Mikey? But he didn't have sad eyes, nothing of the sort really. Who had sad eyes? Oh wait, Gerard. Could she possibly even think that?
"Sarah, Gerard isn't my boyfriend. He's dating a friend of mine," I answered softly, sounding a little sad and unsure why. I had plainly stated time and time again that I didn't want a boyfriend at this point of my life, but being alone during the holidays was still never easy. And truth be told I wasn't really alone, not with the friends I kept. It had nothing really to do with Gerard at all really.
"Oh that's a shame. His eyes always seem happy when he sees you working. Well that's that really," Sarah finished as she patted my hand one more time before turning to her meal. Out of the mouths of grandmothers I guess. Just like with little children.
I turned and went back to my work, whisking between table after table like an angel on roller skates. Though thank the hundred little gods that Reta didn't make me wear roller skates, we weren't that kitchy! Course I think that she knew that if she asked me to wear them that I would say she needed to wear them as well. And I don't think that Reta is a roller skate person, she's more of a firm two feet on the ground type of person.
The day whizzed by so quickly that I didn't even look up when the door chimed open around five. In fact I didn't look up until a familiar feeling washed over me as bodies filled in the counter seats in front of where I was rolling silverware. Looking up I smiled at my disheveled friends, all covered in snow and wrapped to the nines in winter apparel. Somehow Frankie had commandeered, or found, a Cookie Monster winter hat and Lifesaver striped scarf. Very fitting with the rest of his black winter attire, and very Frankie. I opened my mouth to harass them as I normally would but stopped when I say their bleached faces. All rosiness from the cold gone from their cheeks.
"What's wrong guys?" I asked, putting my rolled silverware down for the moment.
"Have you seen Gerard today?" Bob asked flatly as he stared at me hard.
"No, uh," I started to reply but was interrupted.
"We can't find Gee Bear anywhere! No one's seen him all day and something went wrong I just know it!" Frankie wailed out as he dropped his head to the counter into his mitten covered hands. I felt my jaw drop as Bob put an arm around the shoulders of my crying friend.
"Uh, what? When did? When did this happen?" I asked, looking at the faces of Bob, Ray and Mikey each.
"Jay we haven't seen him all day. We saw Sharon peeling out of the driveway this morning but that's it. He hasn't answered his phone, it's going straight to voicemail now so it's probably off or dead. And Sharon only answered once saying she had no idea where he was. If not such a nice way, but the point was clear. Oh Jay what are we," Mikey sputtered out, his worry painted across his face and riding in the tears unshed in the corner of his eyes. Instinctively I reached and grabbed his ice cold hands with my own.
"Oh Mikey don'y worry, we'll find him," I offered soothingly as I leaned forward and kissed his frozen digits between my own warm ones. As my lips touched his frozen skin there was a crash from outback which caused the lot of us to whip around and stare out through the kitchen entrance into the diner.
"Nothing, pay it no mind. I just dropped something is all," Ernie came out with his face all blustered as he waved his hands around as if he was trying to cover as much of the open space around him as he could. With a nod of our heads we turned back to the front of the diner.
"Like I said, we'll find him. Don't worry. Now let's get something hot into you four before what friends I've got left turn into popsicles. I'll even make you peppermint and vanilla hot cocoa Frankie," I offered softly, a small smile on the corner of my mouth as I tried to pry Frankie's head off the counter.
"Okay," Frankie sniffled softly as he sat up, rubbing his nose on the back of his black winter hoodie.
"Good, let's get you guys food," I supplied reassuringly before turning back to Reta with pleading eyes before placing an order for the four of them. Reta just smiled in that way that told me not to worry and that everything would be okay, and I really hoped that she was right.
-xXx-
"Reta I'm done for the night!" I called out into the kitchen as I tiredly dumped my work items into their respective places beside the back counter. The hours after the guys had left had dragged on and on for what felt like years. My feet felt like they were made out of lead, my hands had ceased to function, and I still had yet to hear anything about Gerard. I had sent the guys home after they had all eaten, promising to try Gerard on my breaks when I could. And that I would spread the word that we were looking for him to every regular that came in that knew who he was.
"Remember you have tomorrow off my dear! I don't want to see you down here! It's going to be the last time I can really give you off before Christmas hits next week!" Reta called out in reply as she came out into the diner where you were standing, broom in hand with her sleeves rolled up even in this weather!
"Don't worry I remember! Night Ernie! Sam!" I called back into the bowels of the kitchen where I knew the two to be, probably going over some cooking technique or what have you.
With a wave into the empty air that I knew they saw I made my way into the back stairwell that was my entryway. Shutting the diner door locked behind me I grabbed a cigarette out of my dingy apron, making a mental note to wash it tomorrow before it got up and walked away from me. Lighting the cancer stick between my lips I trudged my way wearily up the stairs to my locked door. Once I hit the landing I put my hand on my doorknob and realized it was unlocked, very much not the way I had left it. A sudden wave of deja vu swept over me as I opened my door and stepped into my apartment, lit cigarette in hand still but now brandished as a weak weapon.
"Hello?" I called into my apartment as I slowly entered, leaving my door open incase I need to make a quick exit. Putting my half smoked cigarette out in the ashtray next to the door I switched my keys into my dominant hand and put the few keys between my knuckles, my attack earlier in the year had taught me something at least. Not turning on the lights for some reason I crept further into my apartment and called out again.
"Hello?" My voice echoed through the apartment and I stopped to listen for any sort of response or noise. Not that I thought a burglar would shout back any type of response but it was worth a try. And as I strained to hear anything I finally did, the barest scuffle that seemed to be coming from the bathroom. Gathering my courage about myself I silently crept towards my bathroom, keys still between my knuckles and my breath held in my chest. As I neared the door I pushed it open before quickly flicking my hand in like lightening to turn on the light.
Aw, I see you’ve abandoned this. I wish you hadn’t… it’s really good!
10/28/22