The next day at school I was still pretty freaked out from what gerard had done yesterday. It wasn't until I was already home that I realized I had left everything over at the ways house. My phone, my wallet, my cigarettes, my lighter, everything I needed.

The one thing that irritated me was that my phone didn't have a password on it so he could easily go through my phone or even worse text Ryan and pretend he was me.

As as soon as I saw Ryan at school I ran over and hugged him. He was standing by my locker and it looked like he had been waiting for me. His face showed immediate relief when he saw me.

"frank I've been trying to get a hold of you all night! Where were you?" He asked but stopped when I ran into his arms and began crying. "Hey shhh shh it's ok I'm here shhh whats wrong?" He asked petting the back of my head and holding me close to him.

I was about to answer when I saw the fucking red headed devil walk up to his locker right next to us. Something was off though. He didnt seem himself, he seemed scared. "Frank what happened answer me please?" Ryan asked looking worriedly at me.

"Just something happened and it freaked me out....hey ry can I just meet up with you at lunch I kinda have something I wanna do."

"uh ya sure just promise your ok?"

"promise" I said and kissed him on the cheek. He waved goodbye and walked to into a classroom down the hall.

"you!" I said turning and pointing my finger at gerard. He seemed scared but held a straight face. "Your coming with me we need to talk." I stated firmly grabbing his arm and dragging him into a closet near by.

"Frankie..."
"DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME YESTERDAY?!?" I yelled scaring him and myself with how harsh I was being.

"Listen I didn't mean to make you cry."
"Ya I know you only meant to get in my pants."
"frank-"
"don't deny it. That's was your goal all along wasn't it?"
"Fran-"
"wasn't it!"
"maybe...."
"see I told you! Your a ducking perverted freak and you need to leave me the hell alon-"

i was suddenly up against a wall and gerard had his lips on mine. He pulled away but kept me pinned to the wall. "Will you fucking listen now or do I have to kiss you again?"
i just stared at him so I guess he took it that I'd stay quiet.

"I wasn't going to fucking rape you I just wanted to have some fun and I didn't mean to scare you since it was your first time and all, or would've been your first time.."

"I would never ever have you be my fucking first!" I spat at him.
"God your hard to convince."

"your not ever going to convince me to do anything with you!"
i yelled

"I always get what I want." He stated firmly and before I could react he had his lips on mine again.

After he finished raping my mouth he pulled back and spoke. "by the way I accidentally forgot to bring your phone to school for you today so how about you swing by later so I can give it to you?"

"Yea right! No way in hell."
"fine i guess ill just keep looking at the beautiful photos on it until you come to get it back. I can jack off to just your phots your that hot." He whispered into my ear sending chills down my spine.

"W-what pictures" I asked hoping he didn't go through my messages.

"You know for being a virgin you send some pretty nice photos of yourself to your little friend." He smirked.

"It's my BOYFRIEND, and you have no right going through my messages like that! Those messages aren't meant for you to see!"i snapped

"god I wish they were because your fucking gorgeous." He smirked. "Cya later whenever you decide to come and get your phone." He said and then walked out of the closet leaving me fucking pissed.

He had went through mine and Ryan's messages. I knew what photos he was talking about, the ones were I wasn't wearing any clothes. Jesus Christ gerard way the motherfucking pervert saw photos of me naked. Can this day get any worse.

Notes

Hey killjoys.....this is a kind of personal note...well the thing is I really need someone to talk to. I literally have no one and lately I've been feeling like absolute shit. My brother was the one person I could talk to and he was home for fall break and just left yesterday and I already miss him and wish he was here talking to me and telling me that everything's ok.

what I'm trying to say is, is there anyone here that's willing to just talk with me. Someone that's not gonna judge me, and just listen. I only have kik as a way of talking. But I'm seriously about to go crazy. I just need someone to vent to about my life and my feelings. I can't post about it on here due to the fact that people don't like hearing about self harm.... Yea that's right I do, please I just need someone to talk.