Forget About the Dirty Looks
After All This Time That You Still Owe
Tashi's Pov
I woke up on the bench. I don't know what to do anymore. I've had to live off the only money I have, spent mostly on cigarettes and food. I don't know where to go. Actually at this point I don't know where I'm going, just following wherever my feet take me. I looked up to see the house I knew all too well. I swore I'd never go back here. Stupid feet. But its my only choice. I walked up the cobblestone path to the wooden door and tapped on it lightly. It swug open revealing a wrinkled woman, shocked to see me. She gasped.
"Tashi?" she asked. "is that you?"
".....hi mom....."
***THE END just kidding I wouldn't leave you with a cliff hanger, I'm not that mean***
She pulled me into a tight hug and started bawling on my shoulder. I gently patted her back. This situation was kinda awkward for me. She pulled away and gripped onto my shoulders and studied my appearance.
"Honey, why are you wearing a short skirt and an oversized band tee?" she asked.
"Long story, can I come in?" i asked as I walked in, not waiting for an answer. The smell of the home wafted in my nose as I remembered parts of my childhood. I haven't seen this place for this woman for four years, since I was thirteen, and moved in with my best friend, and her cousin, Pete, who recently gave her the house as an eighteenth birthday present and moved out, just thought I should mention. My mother patted the couch beside her and I sat down, looking at the floor, not saying a word.
"Why'd you leave me?" my mother asked, breaking the silence.
"You weren't acting as a mother should, you didn't even look at me anymore, I left because I wasn't being taken care of, but in all honesty I guess part of it was hoping you'd come after me." I told her, truthfully, still not brealing my gaze with the floor, I'm pretty sure it won't disappear if I look away, but I'm not taking chances. At this point I think I should look away just in case the ground decides to open and swallow me. But it won't. So my eyes stay here end of st-what. My mother is hugging me. A really awkward side hug. She's bawling again. I groaned in my mind.
"I-I'm s-so sor-so-sorry." she managed to choke between sobs. I nodded my head and awkwardly patted her back.
"S'kay, the past is the past I guess." I explained. Just then I heard a door open and close. I looked up and seen a boy walked into the room, about my age, a bit younger. I quickly averted my gaze from his brown eyes back to the floor. I seen him run his fingers through his skinny brown hair through my perpetual vision. He looked at me, then turned to my mother.
"Oh uhh, sorry Elena, it seems I'm interupting something, I'll just come back later." he told her. But oh course my mom, being my mom, denied his request and told this errily familar boy to stay.
"Tashi, you remember Ryan, right?" she asked. Ah ha! Ryan! He was my neighbour, I used to babysit him, even though he wasn't too much younger then me, 2-4 years maybe? Wow. Geesh. He looks so grown up, as cheesy as it sounds, purberty has done him well. I nodded my head and smiled at him. He gave me a sheepish smile in return.
"Uhh I'm going to go get cookies." he mother said, breaking the silence. I turned to Ryan and patted the couch next to me, he obeyed and sat down. We then proceeded to hug each other.
"Hey, Ross, its been a while." I told him. His smile faded.
"Whats wrong?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Its nothing really its just the people who usually call me by my last name now well, I'm not exactly on good terms with them." he told me. Oh gosh. It was his head Aaron was smashing into the locker. **Remember, Chapter 1?**
"Hey, they try to mess with you again, stick your middle finger up and punch them in the face got it? And if that doesn't work then tell em Grace will do something about it." I explained.
"Umm I don't think you can do much about it now....you lost like 200 friends or more on facebook....and I've been meaning to ask you, why Grace? Tashi was a cool name...." he told me. I fake smiled and ruffed his hair.
"Don't worry about it." I told him
****Time Passes****
I woke up in my bedroom, old bedroom. I smacked my alarm clock before looking around. It still had all my posters. Green Day, Iron Maiden, Misfits, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Bowie, Nirvanna, Metallica, all still there. I smiled and got my now washed uniform from the dryer and made my way to school. I passed the Way's house and picked up my pace a bit. I made it to school 5 minutes early so I decided to have a smoke. I walked up to Frank and tapped him on the shoulder. Relief washed over his face.
"Damnit Tash!! You haven't been at school for like three weeks!!! Gee and I have been freaking out!!" he exclaimed. Gee was worried about me?
"Hell yeah he was!! So was I!! Where in hells name were you?!" he asked. Shoot I didn't mean to say that aloud.
"Finding suitable living conditions." I told him. He nodded and hugged me. We went back to silence as we finished our smokes and walked in the school. Frank and I were late, but I don't care, I couldn't waste my nicotine. We went our seperate ways to our lockers.
I had maths first period. With Aaron. Here comes the pain. I can't lie and say I didn't love him. I did. I still do. I suppose there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
I wandered into the class as everyones heads shot up to look at me. Ms.Simmons blabbed something about me not being there and how being late isn't good and how I finally joined them before I took my seat. She then started explaining something about trigonometry.
"Now continue from where you were last class. Aaron, go to the library and explain to Grace what she missed." she demanded. Shoot. How cliché. Aaron cleared his troat by my desk and gestured for me to follow him. I sighed and slowly followed him outside.
The library was only a couple rooms over, Aaron seemed pretty eagar to get in as he peeped his head inside to check if anyone was there before practically throwing me in. He pinned me against a wall and attacked my lips with his own. I struggled to push him off. When I finally succeeded he looked at me with hurt and confusion.
"What's wrong baby girl?" He asked. I let out a sarcastic laugh.
"You do realize you dumped me right?" I replied. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I said I wanted some time alone, I didn't say I was leaving you." He explained. I took out my phone and showed him his relationship status on facebook which changed from in a relationship to single. Geesh. I never really liked social media. He bit his lip guiltily.
"I know Grace but, I missed you. I've been worried about you. You taste like cigarettes too." He pointed out. I let out a frustrated groan.
"What did I miss in maths?" I asked sitting down. He sat beside me and sighed.
"Not much to be honest. We just started trigonometry." He explained.
********
I walked into the lunch room and took a seat near the back. I didn't pack a lunch, and I didn't bring any money so i suppose I won't be eating. I started to doodle on my notebook. I came up with Emily, from The Corpse Bride dancing with Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas and across from them, Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas dancing with Victor from The Corpse Bride. What, I totally don't like Tim Burton movies what are you talking about? (Note the sarcasm) I was sketching in the finishing touches on Emily's veil when my book was snatched away from me. I looked up to see Frank sitting across from me looking at it. I sighed.
"Frank give it back" I demanded as I attempted to snatch it away from him. I succeeded with little effort.
"You're pretty good." he told me. I rolled my eyes and shook me head. "Almost as good as Gerard." he added. I'm nowhere near Gerards level. Hes truely amazing.
"Uh speaking of which I came over here to ask if you wanted to eat lunch with us" he explained. I shrugged and followed him. I had nothing better to do. As soon as I sat down a noticed a girl was sitting beside Gerard. Black hair pulled into pig tails and red lips. Giggling and smiling and sitting quite close to my GeeBear. And he was giggling and smiling back. Shit. I'm getting jealous. He looked up and smiled at me.
"Hey Tash, this is Linsey." he told me. I gave a slight wave and started play with the hairbands on my wrist. I always did that when I was nervous or uncomfortable. Gerard always noticed when I was nervous. He didn't this time. I chewed on my lip, another thing I do when I'm nervous or uncomfortable. I began to draw again, as Gee and Frank engaged in conversation. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to find none other then Ryan Ross looking down at me, chewing on his lip, something we had in common, panic evident on his face.
"Uhh T-Tashi. I may have told Aaron to go fuck himself. He's kinda mad. Like, really mad. He's coming this way." he explained. I told Ryan to come to me if there was trouble right? So I should help him right? I needed to distract Aaron. He burst through the doors and I ran upto him before he could see Ryan, and kissed him. He seemed quite shocked at first, but kissed back after a second then lead me out the doors. Gosh I really didn't want to do this, oh the things I do for Ryan. He slammed me against someone's locker and kissed me forcefully. He pulled away only for a second.
"Why the sudden change of mind?" He asked. I shrugged. I couldn't be bothered with making an excuse right now. It didn't effect him much, he went back to attacking my lips with his.
**********
Franks Pov
Gerard kept giggling and smiling and cheesy shit. I don't like Linsey. As much as it kills me to say, I'd rather Gee be with Tashi. The one person I may be hopelessly in love with. **gasp shocker** I love our smoke sessions more then anything. I always think of what it would be like to have smoke kisses with her. Pin her against that concrete building and kiss the living day lights out of her. But how could I? I mean my best friend loves her. Or rather loved. He seems to be doing just fine with Ms.Flirt here. I looked over at her to find she was talking to some freshman, Ryan or something. My friend Brendons boyfriend. *gasp another shocker* Tashi made some sort of reply then stood up walked over to Aaron and.....kissed him? I thought they broke up? Great. I'm in love with someone I can never have. They left the lunch room leaving people shocked and whispering as I slammed my head against the table multiple times. This seemed to catch Gerards attention. Finally he looks up from that slut.
"What's up Frank?" He asked me. Gosh he's really that clueless? I mumbled a faint 'nothing' as I stood up and left, using the opposite doors that Aaron and Tashi went through. Guess where? Gee I wonder. Certainly not behind a concrete building. (Note the sarcasm) I took a long drag savouring the oh so wonderful nicotine as the smoke clouded my throat, blowing it out slowly. I finished it quite quickly and as I seen Tashi coming I left, before she could see me, I just wanted to be alone.
*****time passes......a lot of time.....like 3 years*****
"Bye Jamia!!" I called to my roommate before running out the door. Coffee. I needed coffee. And cigarettes. I ran down the streets pretty fast. I looked up a bit and seen the Starbucks logo hanging on the door. Perfect. Just as I was about to enter I felt something press against my chest. Something hot. I ran into a girl carrying a coffee. A hot coffee. A very hot coffee. The pain settled in and I hissed nearly at the same time she did. Speaking of she I owe her an apology considering coffee now covers our shirts due to me.
"Listen I'm really sorry I didn't mean to, I can get you a new shirt or a new coffee or bo-" I started but was cut off when I looked up to notice I was face to face with someone I haven't seen since high school.
I woke up on the bench. I don't know what to do anymore. I've had to live off the only money I have, spent mostly on cigarettes and food. I don't know where to go. Actually at this point I don't know where I'm going, just following wherever my feet take me. I looked up to see the house I knew all too well. I swore I'd never go back here. Stupid feet. But its my only choice. I walked up the cobblestone path to the wooden door and tapped on it lightly. It swug open revealing a wrinkled woman, shocked to see me. She gasped.
"Tashi?" she asked. "is that you?"
".....hi mom....."
***THE END just kidding I wouldn't leave you with a cliff hanger, I'm not that mean***
She pulled me into a tight hug and started bawling on my shoulder. I gently patted her back. This situation was kinda awkward for me. She pulled away and gripped onto my shoulders and studied my appearance.
"Honey, why are you wearing a short skirt and an oversized band tee?" she asked.
"Long story, can I come in?" i asked as I walked in, not waiting for an answer. The smell of the home wafted in my nose as I remembered parts of my childhood. I haven't seen this place for this woman for four years, since I was thirteen, and moved in with my best friend, and her cousin, Pete, who recently gave her the house as an eighteenth birthday present and moved out, just thought I should mention. My mother patted the couch beside her and I sat down, looking at the floor, not saying a word.
"Why'd you leave me?" my mother asked, breaking the silence.
"You weren't acting as a mother should, you didn't even look at me anymore, I left because I wasn't being taken care of, but in all honesty I guess part of it was hoping you'd come after me." I told her, truthfully, still not brealing my gaze with the floor, I'm pretty sure it won't disappear if I look away, but I'm not taking chances. At this point I think I should look away just in case the ground decides to open and swallow me. But it won't. So my eyes stay here end of st-what. My mother is hugging me. A really awkward side hug. She's bawling again. I groaned in my mind.
"I-I'm s-so sor-so-sorry." she managed to choke between sobs. I nodded my head and awkwardly patted her back.
"S'kay, the past is the past I guess." I explained. Just then I heard a door open and close. I looked up and seen a boy walked into the room, about my age, a bit younger. I quickly averted my gaze from his brown eyes back to the floor. I seen him run his fingers through his skinny brown hair through my perpetual vision. He looked at me, then turned to my mother.
"Oh uhh, sorry Elena, it seems I'm interupting something, I'll just come back later." he told her. But oh course my mom, being my mom, denied his request and told this errily familar boy to stay.
"Tashi, you remember Ryan, right?" she asked. Ah ha! Ryan! He was my neighbour, I used to babysit him, even though he wasn't too much younger then me, 2-4 years maybe? Wow. Geesh. He looks so grown up, as cheesy as it sounds, purberty has done him well. I nodded my head and smiled at him. He gave me a sheepish smile in return.
"Uhh I'm going to go get cookies." he mother said, breaking the silence. I turned to Ryan and patted the couch next to me, he obeyed and sat down. We then proceeded to hug each other.
"Hey, Ross, its been a while." I told him. His smile faded.
"Whats wrong?" I asked. He shook his head.
"Its nothing really its just the people who usually call me by my last name now well, I'm not exactly on good terms with them." he told me. Oh gosh. It was his head Aaron was smashing into the locker. **Remember, Chapter 1?**
"Hey, they try to mess with you again, stick your middle finger up and punch them in the face got it? And if that doesn't work then tell em Grace will do something about it." I explained.
"Umm I don't think you can do much about it now....you lost like 200 friends or more on facebook....and I've been meaning to ask you, why Grace? Tashi was a cool name...." he told me. I fake smiled and ruffed his hair.
"Don't worry about it." I told him
****Time Passes****
I woke up in my bedroom, old bedroom. I smacked my alarm clock before looking around. It still had all my posters. Green Day, Iron Maiden, Misfits, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Bowie, Nirvanna, Metallica, all still there. I smiled and got my now washed uniform from the dryer and made my way to school. I passed the Way's house and picked up my pace a bit. I made it to school 5 minutes early so I decided to have a smoke. I walked up to Frank and tapped him on the shoulder. Relief washed over his face.
"Damnit Tash!! You haven't been at school for like three weeks!!! Gee and I have been freaking out!!" he exclaimed. Gee was worried about me?
"Hell yeah he was!! So was I!! Where in hells name were you?!" he asked. Shoot I didn't mean to say that aloud.
"Finding suitable living conditions." I told him. He nodded and hugged me. We went back to silence as we finished our smokes and walked in the school. Frank and I were late, but I don't care, I couldn't waste my nicotine. We went our seperate ways to our lockers.
I had maths first period. With Aaron. Here comes the pain. I can't lie and say I didn't love him. I did. I still do. I suppose there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.
I wandered into the class as everyones heads shot up to look at me. Ms.Simmons blabbed something about me not being there and how being late isn't good and how I finally joined them before I took my seat. She then started explaining something about trigonometry.
"Now continue from where you were last class. Aaron, go to the library and explain to Grace what she missed." she demanded. Shoot. How cliché. Aaron cleared his troat by my desk and gestured for me to follow him. I sighed and slowly followed him outside.
The library was only a couple rooms over, Aaron seemed pretty eagar to get in as he peeped his head inside to check if anyone was there before practically throwing me in. He pinned me against a wall and attacked my lips with his own. I struggled to push him off. When I finally succeeded he looked at me with hurt and confusion.
"What's wrong baby girl?" He asked. I let out a sarcastic laugh.
"You do realize you dumped me right?" I replied. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I said I wanted some time alone, I didn't say I was leaving you." He explained. I took out my phone and showed him his relationship status on facebook which changed from in a relationship to single. Geesh. I never really liked social media. He bit his lip guiltily.
"I know Grace but, I missed you. I've been worried about you. You taste like cigarettes too." He pointed out. I let out a frustrated groan.
"What did I miss in maths?" I asked sitting down. He sat beside me and sighed.
"Not much to be honest. We just started trigonometry." He explained.
********
I walked into the lunch room and took a seat near the back. I didn't pack a lunch, and I didn't bring any money so i suppose I won't be eating. I started to doodle on my notebook. I came up with Emily, from The Corpse Bride dancing with Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas and across from them, Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas dancing with Victor from The Corpse Bride. What, I totally don't like Tim Burton movies what are you talking about? (Note the sarcasm) I was sketching in the finishing touches on Emily's veil when my book was snatched away from me. I looked up to see Frank sitting across from me looking at it. I sighed.
"Frank give it back" I demanded as I attempted to snatch it away from him. I succeeded with little effort.
"You're pretty good." he told me. I rolled my eyes and shook me head. "Almost as good as Gerard." he added. I'm nowhere near Gerards level. Hes truely amazing.
"Uh speaking of which I came over here to ask if you wanted to eat lunch with us" he explained. I shrugged and followed him. I had nothing better to do. As soon as I sat down a noticed a girl was sitting beside Gerard. Black hair pulled into pig tails and red lips. Giggling and smiling and sitting quite close to my GeeBear. And he was giggling and smiling back. Shit. I'm getting jealous. He looked up and smiled at me.
"Hey Tash, this is Linsey." he told me. I gave a slight wave and started play with the hairbands on my wrist. I always did that when I was nervous or uncomfortable. Gerard always noticed when I was nervous. He didn't this time. I chewed on my lip, another thing I do when I'm nervous or uncomfortable. I began to draw again, as Gee and Frank engaged in conversation. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to find none other then Ryan Ross looking down at me, chewing on his lip, something we had in common, panic evident on his face.
"Uhh T-Tashi. I may have told Aaron to go fuck himself. He's kinda mad. Like, really mad. He's coming this way." he explained. I told Ryan to come to me if there was trouble right? So I should help him right? I needed to distract Aaron. He burst through the doors and I ran upto him before he could see Ryan, and kissed him. He seemed quite shocked at first, but kissed back after a second then lead me out the doors. Gosh I really didn't want to do this, oh the things I do for Ryan. He slammed me against someone's locker and kissed me forcefully. He pulled away only for a second.
"Why the sudden change of mind?" He asked. I shrugged. I couldn't be bothered with making an excuse right now. It didn't effect him much, he went back to attacking my lips with his.
**********
Franks Pov
Gerard kept giggling and smiling and cheesy shit. I don't like Linsey. As much as it kills me to say, I'd rather Gee be with Tashi. The one person I may be hopelessly in love with. **gasp shocker** I love our smoke sessions more then anything. I always think of what it would be like to have smoke kisses with her. Pin her against that concrete building and kiss the living day lights out of her. But how could I? I mean my best friend loves her. Or rather loved. He seems to be doing just fine with Ms.Flirt here. I looked over at her to find she was talking to some freshman, Ryan or something. My friend Brendons boyfriend. *gasp another shocker* Tashi made some sort of reply then stood up walked over to Aaron and.....kissed him? I thought they broke up? Great. I'm in love with someone I can never have. They left the lunch room leaving people shocked and whispering as I slammed my head against the table multiple times. This seemed to catch Gerards attention. Finally he looks up from that slut.
"What's up Frank?" He asked me. Gosh he's really that clueless? I mumbled a faint 'nothing' as I stood up and left, using the opposite doors that Aaron and Tashi went through. Guess where? Gee I wonder. Certainly not behind a concrete building. (Note the sarcasm) I took a long drag savouring the oh so wonderful nicotine as the smoke clouded my throat, blowing it out slowly. I finished it quite quickly and as I seen Tashi coming I left, before she could see me, I just wanted to be alone.
*****time passes......a lot of time.....like 3 years*****
"Bye Jamia!!" I called to my roommate before running out the door. Coffee. I needed coffee. And cigarettes. I ran down the streets pretty fast. I looked up a bit and seen the Starbucks logo hanging on the door. Perfect. Just as I was about to enter I felt something press against my chest. Something hot. I ran into a girl carrying a coffee. A hot coffee. A very hot coffee. The pain settled in and I hissed nearly at the same time she did. Speaking of she I owe her an apology considering coffee now covers our shirts due to me.
"Listen I'm really sorry I didn't mean to, I can get you a new shirt or a new coffee or bo-" I started but was cut off when I looked up to notice I was face to face with someone I haven't seen since high school.
@Midnight blood
@katiekilljoy
awwe thanks so much guys!! ^-^ xx
2/10/14