I'm really not okay.
Chapter 9- Crimson-haired angel
I woke up from a dreamless sleep and sigh instantly. I really wish that I hadn't woken up... But I have...
The pain from my ribs surges through my entire body when I sit up. There is no way that I can go to school in this condition.
I grab my phone from my blazer and observe that it is 6:28 AM, I suppose I did fall asleep really early last night.
I notice that I have one text from Izzy and five texts from an unrecognized number. I check Izzy's first.
Izzy:
'Heey Frankenstein, where were you after school? I wanted to walk with you but you weren’t there! L I hope that you’re okay, honey. Xxxx’
I reply with a quick:
‘I felt ill so I went home. I’m still ill today so I’ll see you when I’m better. I’m sorry that I’m ditching you. Have a good day, love you!! <3 xxxxxxxx’
I click on the string on messages from the new number.
‘Franks? Don’t be mad but Mikey got your number from Izzy and gave it to me. Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Frankie, did I do that to your hip? I’m really sorry! I never meant to hurt you so much! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Sugar, please message me back, even if it’s to tell me to fuck off. I’m so worried! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Honey, please message me! My first text was 7 hours ago! It is 1AM and I can’t sleep until I know that you’re safe! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Fairy, it’s 3:15AM. Drop me a text, even if it’s to say that you hate me and want me out of your life, that’s fine, just let me know that you’re okay! Please! Gee. <3 xxxx’
I add the number to my contacts as ‘Gee <3’ before I click on the text box, about to formulate a response when my phone buzzes; it’s another text message from Gee.
‘It’s gone 6:30AM and if I don’t get a message by 8AM then I’m coming to find you and heck on you! PLEASE JUST FUCKING MESSAGE BACK! IT IS KILLING ME THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU!!! Gee. <3 xxxx’
I type my response faster than I ever have before because, fuck, I can’t have Gee coming to find me see my bones.
‘No, Gerard, I’m fine. Please don’t come and check on me. I’m fine, but I won’t be in school today. Just go to school. Have a good day, love you x’
Sent.
There, that should keep him awa… SHIT! I SAID LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I hastily type:
‘I didn’t mean love you, it was just a force of habit, sorry. :S’
There we go… I’m sure that fixed it… probably doesn’t even look dodgy… shit… I have really fucked myself over… shit!
I get up, as quickly as I can with my ribs in such a poor condition, and look outside of my window. Luckily mum’s car isn’t in the driveway so I’m able to be alone in this hell-hole household.
I hobble to the kitchen to grab some painkillers, a can of coke from the fridge and a packet of crisps from the cupboard. I quickly ingest the painkillers, along with half the can of coke to help the pills go down, and slowly make my way back to my bedroom. I grab my phone to see that Gerard has replied.
‘Are you sure, Fairy? I was going to skip science anyway which happens to be my third, fourth and fifth lessons. I could always pop over and look after you? Plus we sort of need to talk… yunno… about when our mouths did the thing… Gee. <3 xxxx’
Urgh, he is being all sweet and kind and offering to come over but he can’t because he can’t see my ribs – because he’ll think that he did that just like he does with my hip but if he doesn’t then he’ll know it was mum and he’ll tell someone and things will go bad – and so I have to be a shit bag and tell him not to come over and URGH! THIS COULD NOT BE MORE FRUSTRATING! I FINALLY GET WHAT I WANT AND NOW I RISK PUSHING IT, HIM, AWAY!
Fucking bullshit.
Ah well, I type my reply with a sulky expression across my bruised face.
‘No, Gee. I just want to be alone today. We can talk another time, okay?xx’
Fucking gay-shit-cunt-fuck-demented-twatty life.
I sigh heavily as I open my packet of crisps and slowly consume them. Once I’m done eating I get up and go to the bathroom. I remove the dressing and shit, the cuts look really fucking bad, possibly infected! I immediately get in the shower and, anything but gently, wash my hip. Regrettably, this causes a lot of bleeding but I don’t really care because if it gets infected then I’ll have to go to the hospital and everyone will know.
I dry carefully after I finish showering the rest of my body. I dress my marred left hip and go back to my room. I see that it is 9:23. What? I showered for like an hour and a half? I swear I actually didn’t even jack off, seriously guys I was in way too much pain… so what took so much time?
I check my phone and have like three messages, guess who from. Congratulations, you’re right, Gerard. Cookies for you.
‘Please don’t shut me out, fairy! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Shit, you regret the interaction that our mouths engaged in, don’t you? Gee. <3 xxxx’
Why can’t he say kissing? Why does he use these awkward expressions? Urgh, he is so weird but I love him for it. OMFG! SHUT UP SUB-CONSCIOUS! YOU ALREADY GOT ME IN TROUBLE WHEN YOU BLURTED THE ‘L-WORD’ OVER TEXT!
‘For fuck sake, Frankie. REPLY GOD DAMN! I am paranoid as shit! I’m sorry if I upset to, I never meant to, really! Gee. <3 xxxx’
Okay, what is up with him? He seems all caring all of a sudden when literally less than two days ago he was teasing and kicking the living fuck out of me! But why am I fucking complaining? I love that he cares now, who cares why!
‘Calm down, Gee! No, I do not regret the kiss that we shared. I fucking loved it, it was hot. We can talk about this later, just pay attention in school before you need more tutors! (; xxxxx’
Wow, since when was I like flirty and shit. I literally cringe once I have sent the message. Ah well, can’t will it to unsend, just got to roll with it… I think that expression too much. Yes, twice in two days is too much for that medieval – so like around the nineties – expression!
I literally spend the whole morning watching LOTR YouTube poops that Izzy had sent me the links to like weeks ago. OMFG! They are fucking excellent. Why didn’t I watch these before as in the very second that Izzy linked me to them!? OMFG! Anyway… I spend my whole morning watching them and texting Gerard, nothing interesting just him telling me that he had English and was bored because he hates poetry and me telling him to stop sulking and just to work.
I am so confused. Literally yesterday Gerard was still teasing me and now we are like… I don’t know but we are at very least friends, right? I really need to stop questioning it because I’ll like jinx it or something!
I am broken from my thoughts by my phone vibrating and, of course, it’s Gee.
‘Hey, please can I see you today? I REALLY need to tell you something. Please, Fairy, please don’t push me away? Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
‘No, Gee. I don’t need you asking questions…xxxxxx’
Fuck. Why do I always type without thinking! SHIT?
‘Questions about what, Sugar? Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter.’ I reply instantly.
‘Baby, you’re scaring me! What don’t you want me asking about? Please tell me, Franks. Gee. <3 xxxxxx’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.xxxxxx’
‘About what? You’re scaring me, Frank! Has something happened? Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
‘Fucking drop it for fucks sake!’
‘Frankie, either tell me now or when I come over but either way, I’m going to find out what’s wrong and I’m definitely coming over! Gee. <3 xxxxxx’
‘Good luck finding my house, Gerard. Can’t you just drop it, please, for me! xxxxxxx’
‘No, Frankie, I care too much. Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
Bullshit. Since when did he care. I decide to give up trying to convince him to drop it and just ignore him. That doesn’t stop him messaging me though.
‘Franks, fucking reply. Please, baby. Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
About ten minutes later I get up and receive another text.
‘Baby, I’m worried! Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
I walk toward the stairs.
‘Frank, if you don’t reply then I’m coming over right now and checking on you because you’re scaring me! Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
I take my phone out to reply and as I’m looking at my phone screen I lose my footing and go tumbling straight down the stairs. I try to pull myself up but I feel so weak and tired. Then it goes dark.
“Frankie!” a crimson-haired angel calls to me. “Baby, what happened?” I try to reply to the celestial being, who now has his arms around my weak body, but I find that I can’t… I just can’t. “Baby, I’m going to call you an ambulance, okay? Just stay with me until it arrives. Can you do that, Franks?” he asks stroking one of my bruised cheeks carefully and I feel a drop of water on my face. Is that tears? Is Gerard crying? “Please hang in there because I need you, my beautiful little Fairy. I l…”
And then an oh-so-familiar darkness washes over my body.
The pain from my ribs surges through my entire body when I sit up. There is no way that I can go to school in this condition.
I grab my phone from my blazer and observe that it is 6:28 AM, I suppose I did fall asleep really early last night.
I notice that I have one text from Izzy and five texts from an unrecognized number. I check Izzy's first.
Izzy:
'Heey Frankenstein, where were you after school? I wanted to walk with you but you weren’t there! L I hope that you’re okay, honey. Xxxx’
I reply with a quick:
‘I felt ill so I went home. I’m still ill today so I’ll see you when I’m better. I’m sorry that I’m ditching you. Have a good day, love you!! <3 xxxxxxxx’
I click on the string on messages from the new number.
‘Franks? Don’t be mad but Mikey got your number from Izzy and gave it to me. Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Frankie, did I do that to your hip? I’m really sorry! I never meant to hurt you so much! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Sugar, please message me back, even if it’s to tell me to fuck off. I’m so worried! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Honey, please message me! My first text was 7 hours ago! It is 1AM and I can’t sleep until I know that you’re safe! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Fairy, it’s 3:15AM. Drop me a text, even if it’s to say that you hate me and want me out of your life, that’s fine, just let me know that you’re okay! Please! Gee. <3 xxxx’
I add the number to my contacts as ‘Gee <3’ before I click on the text box, about to formulate a response when my phone buzzes; it’s another text message from Gee.
‘It’s gone 6:30AM and if I don’t get a message by 8AM then I’m coming to find you and heck on you! PLEASE JUST FUCKING MESSAGE BACK! IT IS KILLING ME THAT I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU!!! Gee. <3 xxxx’
I type my response faster than I ever have before because, fuck, I can’t have Gee coming to find me see my bones.
‘No, Gerard, I’m fine. Please don’t come and check on me. I’m fine, but I won’t be in school today. Just go to school. Have a good day, love you x’
Sent.
There, that should keep him awa… SHIT! I SAID LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I hastily type:
‘I didn’t mean love you, it was just a force of habit, sorry. :S’
There we go… I’m sure that fixed it… probably doesn’t even look dodgy… shit… I have really fucked myself over… shit!
I get up, as quickly as I can with my ribs in such a poor condition, and look outside of my window. Luckily mum’s car isn’t in the driveway so I’m able to be alone in this hell-hole household.
I hobble to the kitchen to grab some painkillers, a can of coke from the fridge and a packet of crisps from the cupboard. I quickly ingest the painkillers, along with half the can of coke to help the pills go down, and slowly make my way back to my bedroom. I grab my phone to see that Gerard has replied.
‘Are you sure, Fairy? I was going to skip science anyway which happens to be my third, fourth and fifth lessons. I could always pop over and look after you? Plus we sort of need to talk… yunno… about when our mouths did the thing… Gee. <3 xxxx’
Urgh, he is being all sweet and kind and offering to come over but he can’t because he can’t see my ribs – because he’ll think that he did that just like he does with my hip but if he doesn’t then he’ll know it was mum and he’ll tell someone and things will go bad – and so I have to be a shit bag and tell him not to come over and URGH! THIS COULD NOT BE MORE FRUSTRATING! I FINALLY GET WHAT I WANT AND NOW I RISK PUSHING IT, HIM, AWAY!
Fucking bullshit.
Ah well, I type my reply with a sulky expression across my bruised face.
‘No, Gee. I just want to be alone today. We can talk another time, okay?xx’
Fucking gay-shit-cunt-fuck-demented-twatty life.
I sigh heavily as I open my packet of crisps and slowly consume them. Once I’m done eating I get up and go to the bathroom. I remove the dressing and shit, the cuts look really fucking bad, possibly infected! I immediately get in the shower and, anything but gently, wash my hip. Regrettably, this causes a lot of bleeding but I don’t really care because if it gets infected then I’ll have to go to the hospital and everyone will know.
I dry carefully after I finish showering the rest of my body. I dress my marred left hip and go back to my room. I see that it is 9:23. What? I showered for like an hour and a half? I swear I actually didn’t even jack off, seriously guys I was in way too much pain… so what took so much time?
I check my phone and have like three messages, guess who from. Congratulations, you’re right, Gerard. Cookies for you.
‘Please don’t shut me out, fairy! Gee. <3 xxxx’
‘Shit, you regret the interaction that our mouths engaged in, don’t you? Gee. <3 xxxx’
Why can’t he say kissing? Why does he use these awkward expressions? Urgh, he is so weird but I love him for it. OMFG! SHUT UP SUB-CONSCIOUS! YOU ALREADY GOT ME IN TROUBLE WHEN YOU BLURTED THE ‘L-WORD’ OVER TEXT!
‘For fuck sake, Frankie. REPLY GOD DAMN! I am paranoid as shit! I’m sorry if I upset to, I never meant to, really! Gee. <3 xxxx’
Okay, what is up with him? He seems all caring all of a sudden when literally less than two days ago he was teasing and kicking the living fuck out of me! But why am I fucking complaining? I love that he cares now, who cares why!
‘Calm down, Gee! No, I do not regret the kiss that we shared. I fucking loved it, it was hot. We can talk about this later, just pay attention in school before you need more tutors! (; xxxxx’
Wow, since when was I like flirty and shit. I literally cringe once I have sent the message. Ah well, can’t will it to unsend, just got to roll with it… I think that expression too much. Yes, twice in two days is too much for that medieval – so like around the nineties – expression!
I literally spend the whole morning watching LOTR YouTube poops that Izzy had sent me the links to like weeks ago. OMFG! They are fucking excellent. Why didn’t I watch these before as in the very second that Izzy linked me to them!? OMFG! Anyway… I spend my whole morning watching them and texting Gerard, nothing interesting just him telling me that he had English and was bored because he hates poetry and me telling him to stop sulking and just to work.
I am so confused. Literally yesterday Gerard was still teasing me and now we are like… I don’t know but we are at very least friends, right? I really need to stop questioning it because I’ll like jinx it or something!
I am broken from my thoughts by my phone vibrating and, of course, it’s Gee.
‘Hey, please can I see you today? I REALLY need to tell you something. Please, Fairy, please don’t push me away? Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
‘No, Gee. I don’t need you asking questions…xxxxxx’
Fuck. Why do I always type without thinking! SHIT?
‘Questions about what, Sugar? Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
‘Nothing, it doesn’t matter.’ I reply instantly.
‘Baby, you’re scaring me! What don’t you want me asking about? Please tell me, Franks. Gee. <3 xxxxxx’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.xxxxxx’
‘About what? You’re scaring me, Frank! Has something happened? Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
‘Fucking drop it for fucks sake!’
‘Frankie, either tell me now or when I come over but either way, I’m going to find out what’s wrong and I’m definitely coming over! Gee. <3 xxxxxx’
‘Good luck finding my house, Gerard. Can’t you just drop it, please, for me! xxxxxxx’
‘No, Frankie, I care too much. Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
Bullshit. Since when did he care. I decide to give up trying to convince him to drop it and just ignore him. That doesn’t stop him messaging me though.
‘Franks, fucking reply. Please, baby. Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
About ten minutes later I get up and receive another text.
‘Baby, I’m worried! Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
I walk toward the stairs.
‘Frank, if you don’t reply then I’m coming over right now and checking on you because you’re scaring me! Gee. <3 xxxxxxx’
I take my phone out to reply and as I’m looking at my phone screen I lose my footing and go tumbling straight down the stairs. I try to pull myself up but I feel so weak and tired. Then it goes dark.
“Frankie!” a crimson-haired angel calls to me. “Baby, what happened?” I try to reply to the celestial being, who now has his arms around my weak body, but I find that I can’t… I just can’t. “Baby, I’m going to call you an ambulance, okay? Just stay with me until it arrives. Can you do that, Franks?” he asks stroking one of my bruised cheeks carefully and I feel a drop of water on my face. Is that tears? Is Gerard crying? “Please hang in there because I need you, my beautiful little Fairy. I l…”
And then an oh-so-familiar darkness washes over my body.
Notes
Wow... This was a weak chapter, apologies!!!Anywho...
Why do you guys read this?
I'm pretty sure that I am going into emotional turmoil... How are you guys doing? /:
WHY AM I SO MEAN TO FRANKIE!? I REALLY LOVE HIM AND I GIVE HIM THE SHITTIEST LIFE!!
I'm really sorry guys!
Anyway, chapter 10 is in Gerard's point of view (FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!)
WHO IS EXCITED!?!?!?
...........
Oh... just me?
Fine, screw you guys!
I'm just kidding.
You guys are awesome and your beautiful comments make me so happy and keep me motivated enough to continue torturing Frankie.
Love you, guys. Thanks for reading.
Charley <3
@Thatonefriend
Well it might not have tied up all the ends, but I read the last chapter & it seems like an ending, although the author said "no more than four more chapters" so yeah p much the end.
12/22/18