I'm really not okay.
Chapter 25- My Frankie
"This lesson really sucks dick," Bob huffs once the teacher leaves to papers for our project. I realise that I haven't paid any fucking attention all lesson because I was worrying about Frank, it's his first day back after all of the shit and I'm worried that he'll get - understandably - upset.
"Bob, what the fuck has Mr. Spence been talking about?" I ask because I am fucking screwed if he asks me, his best fucking student, about how I found the work and I wasn't fucking listening.
"He was saying how our final project is on forces and we have eight weeks before the exam. Why the fuck weren't you listening?" Bob questions.
"I'm just worried about Frank... It's just you know when you're in love and that one person takes precedence over everything, even your fucking morals and they are just all consuming and all that even fucking mattes to you?"
Bob mumbles something that sounds kind of like 'trust me, I know' but I'm not sure and before I have time to question him on it Mr. Spence re enters the room. "So here are your hand outs, they outline what you need to show in your sketch pads and what sort of branches you can follow to reach your final piece. Any questions?" he asks as he hands me a make shift booklet. It pretty much just says that we need to do something relating to forces, like any fucking thing which gets me thinking that emotions are like a force and love is an emotion and I love Frank and then my mind is back to thoughts of him.
"Fuck, Gerard, pay fucking attention!" Bob says through gritted teeth and I realise that everyone is staring at me.
"Huh?" I mumble... nice one, Way.
"I was just asking you to read the first page aloud. I can see that you're busy thinking and I very much hope it is about the project," he asks with a raised eyebrow to which I nod because I'm not fucking saying that I was busy daydreaming about my boyfriend... that's gay.
Once the class get to work I approach Mr. Spence to seek advice on my project. "Hey, sir. I was wondering if emotions could work?"
"If you show the right progression on your mindmap then of course. Any particular emotion you want to portray?"
"Well I was thinking of painting a love scene amongst loads of horror because it could show the force of love being stronger than that of fear. And it could also be symbolic of love conquering all even in this horrific world," I say confidently because this is art, the only thing I can actually do with any confidence, and I don't need to be scared of being wrong; you can't be wrong in art.
"The ideas sound brilliant and I am positive that you'll be able to display it well but I'd like to see lots of progression this week so I can assess if it works with force or if it is too far off on a tangent," Mr. Spence says beaming a smile at me. I nod and head back to my seat, he is a pretty awesome teacher.
"Hey, dude, your phone buzzed while you were talking to Mr. Spence," Bob says once I walk back to our shared work station.
"Cheers, Bob," I say, Bob smiles and puts his headphones back in, getting to work. I unlock my phone to see a text from Izzy.
'Frank ran home, he says that Daryn and his group of twats were being mean and hitting him and shit and I don't know what the fuck to do!! I've calmed him down but I thought I should tell you. Xx'
Fuck! No! I knew something was going to go wrong. I pack up my sketch pad and grab my stuff, leaving and ignoring Bob who is calling my name. I can explain to him later but for now I have to defend my Frankie. I send Izzy a quick reply
'Thanks for letting me know. Is Daryn in your class? Gee.'
I get an instant reply.
'Yep, IT3. Xx'
I check the time, 10:35, I have five minutes until lessons are over, that is plenty of time to get to IT.
Once I get there I wait outside the classroom door and once it opens Daryn walks through, instantly seeing me and the fucker smirks. he fucking smirks.
"Hey, how's it going Gerard Gay?"
"Wow, I see what you did there. Incredible..." I say, oozing sarcasm. "Now care to explain what happened this morning?" I taunt, informing him that this is not going to be the most pleasant of interactions.
"What with the fucking fag who kissed you?" he asks confused.
"Yeah, with that 'fag' who just so happens to be my fucking boyfriend!" I shout and he cowers, his face alarmed.
"Shit, I didn't realise he was your boyfriend. Dan said that he kissed you and you pushed him away..." he rushes out.
"That never fucking happened and so what if it did? Would that make it okay to beat the shit out of him, less than a week after he finds out about his mother's death, just because I wasn't fucking dating him?" I yell, backing him into the wall with my hands clenched in his collar. I've honestly had enough of his bullshit. He is a massive prick and has been to everyone since year seven but now he has gone too far. No one touches my Frankie, no one!
"Gerard, let me the fuck go," he says with gritted teeth, glaring down at me. He is about six foot but I'm not fucking scared of him, he is just low life scum.
"Or what, Daryn?" I say, getting really close to his face so that he can somehow feel my anger I guess, I don't know... I'm angry and am not thinking straight.
Next thing I know Daryn has pressed his lips to mine with his hands around my waist and I am so stunned that I fucking freeze, releasing my grip on his collar. What the fuck? Why do people always fucking hit on me? I'm not even that hot!
"Daryn, what the fuck?" I hear come from behind me. I am thrown away from Daryn and turn around to see Carly Dear, the slut of the year.
"That fucking fag kissed me and I was too stunned to move," he lies in a panicked voice.
"Eww, Gerard is a fag? I totally had a crush on him but... eww!" she comments as if I'm not right fucking there.
"Wait a fucking second. I did not kiss you! You are a liar bastard. You fucking kissed me!" I shout to Daryn.
"Shut the fuck up, Way! I'm warning you!" he grits out.
"Or fucking what, Daryn? What are you gunna d..." I am broken off by a hard punch to the jaw which forces my head to the side. No fucking way, Daryn just punched me. It's on.
I raise my hand to my jaw, glaring at him seeing a look of regret and fear in his eyes. "You really shouldn't have done that, Daryn!" I snarl. I may not be particularly muscular but I am strong and brutal and everyone knows that. I throw a strong punch to Daryn's gut, causing him to bend over. I knee his hunched over self in the face and he falls back to the floor. I straddle his waist and throw punch after punch to his face. With one particular punch I can actually feel his nose break but I don't stop. I keep punching until I feel the skin on my own hands rip making me bleed just as he is but I don't care. There is so much blood as I hit him with a tirade of blows to his face and the blood is splashing onto my shirt but I don't care. "This is for my Frankie. Never fucking touch him again!" I shout as I continue my assault, almost certain that Daryn is unconscious but I don't care.
Then I feel something hit me in the ribs, throwing me off of Daryn. I am encircled by his goons and I can't fucking take all of them, there are like six of them looking menacingly at me. They start kicking me in the ribs and a few on the face, scratching up my jaw and giving me a nose bleed. Just when I feel like I am going to fucking die someone calls out. Mr. Crain, what a fucking life saver! The relentless kicking stops and I get up, grabbing my bags. I need to check on my Frankie. What if all this has made him feel as worthless as he did a couple of week ago and how I made him feel for years. What if he has hurt himself?
I run straight out of the block, ignoring Mr. Crain's persistent calls of my name. I run as far as I can to Frank's before I start to feel dizzy and opt for walking.
Once I reach Frank's door I can hear Pierce The Veil coming from his living room, good, that means he's in. I ring the doorbell and I can hear shuffling about before a tired looking Frank opens the door. Shit, he looks terrified. His pupils are blown and he has a hand covering his mouth. I need to reassure him, I came here because I'm worried for him, not the other way around. "Frank," I start, finding speech difficult and feeling my legs getting weak. I need to sit down. "It's okay," I continue before I feel the world fucking rushing around in circles, "It's..." I say before my legs give way and I am collapsing into Frank's warm body.
And then my world become a black haze.
"Bob, what the fuck has Mr. Spence been talking about?" I ask because I am fucking screwed if he asks me, his best fucking student, about how I found the work and I wasn't fucking listening.
"He was saying how our final project is on forces and we have eight weeks before the exam. Why the fuck weren't you listening?" Bob questions.
"I'm just worried about Frank... It's just you know when you're in love and that one person takes precedence over everything, even your fucking morals and they are just all consuming and all that even fucking mattes to you?"
Bob mumbles something that sounds kind of like 'trust me, I know' but I'm not sure and before I have time to question him on it Mr. Spence re enters the room. "So here are your hand outs, they outline what you need to show in your sketch pads and what sort of branches you can follow to reach your final piece. Any questions?" he asks as he hands me a make shift booklet. It pretty much just says that we need to do something relating to forces, like any fucking thing which gets me thinking that emotions are like a force and love is an emotion and I love Frank and then my mind is back to thoughts of him.
"Fuck, Gerard, pay fucking attention!" Bob says through gritted teeth and I realise that everyone is staring at me.
"Huh?" I mumble... nice one, Way.
"I was just asking you to read the first page aloud. I can see that you're busy thinking and I very much hope it is about the project," he asks with a raised eyebrow to which I nod because I'm not fucking saying that I was busy daydreaming about my boyfriend... that's gay.
Once the class get to work I approach Mr. Spence to seek advice on my project. "Hey, sir. I was wondering if emotions could work?"
"If you show the right progression on your mindmap then of course. Any particular emotion you want to portray?"
"Well I was thinking of painting a love scene amongst loads of horror because it could show the force of love being stronger than that of fear. And it could also be symbolic of love conquering all even in this horrific world," I say confidently because this is art, the only thing I can actually do with any confidence, and I don't need to be scared of being wrong; you can't be wrong in art.
"The ideas sound brilliant and I am positive that you'll be able to display it well but I'd like to see lots of progression this week so I can assess if it works with force or if it is too far off on a tangent," Mr. Spence says beaming a smile at me. I nod and head back to my seat, he is a pretty awesome teacher.
"Hey, dude, your phone buzzed while you were talking to Mr. Spence," Bob says once I walk back to our shared work station.
"Cheers, Bob," I say, Bob smiles and puts his headphones back in, getting to work. I unlock my phone to see a text from Izzy.
'Frank ran home, he says that Daryn and his group of twats were being mean and hitting him and shit and I don't know what the fuck to do!! I've calmed him down but I thought I should tell you. Xx'
Fuck! No! I knew something was going to go wrong. I pack up my sketch pad and grab my stuff, leaving and ignoring Bob who is calling my name. I can explain to him later but for now I have to defend my Frankie. I send Izzy a quick reply
'Thanks for letting me know. Is Daryn in your class? Gee.'
I get an instant reply.
'Yep, IT3. Xx'
I check the time, 10:35, I have five minutes until lessons are over, that is plenty of time to get to IT.
Once I get there I wait outside the classroom door and once it opens Daryn walks through, instantly seeing me and the fucker smirks. he fucking smirks.
"Hey, how's it going Gerard Gay?"
"Wow, I see what you did there. Incredible..." I say, oozing sarcasm. "Now care to explain what happened this morning?" I taunt, informing him that this is not going to be the most pleasant of interactions.
"What with the fucking fag who kissed you?" he asks confused.
"Yeah, with that 'fag' who just so happens to be my fucking boyfriend!" I shout and he cowers, his face alarmed.
"Shit, I didn't realise he was your boyfriend. Dan said that he kissed you and you pushed him away..." he rushes out.
"That never fucking happened and so what if it did? Would that make it okay to beat the shit out of him, less than a week after he finds out about his mother's death, just because I wasn't fucking dating him?" I yell, backing him into the wall with my hands clenched in his collar. I've honestly had enough of his bullshit. He is a massive prick and has been to everyone since year seven but now he has gone too far. No one touches my Frankie, no one!
"Gerard, let me the fuck go," he says with gritted teeth, glaring down at me. He is about six foot but I'm not fucking scared of him, he is just low life scum.
"Or what, Daryn?" I say, getting really close to his face so that he can somehow feel my anger I guess, I don't know... I'm angry and am not thinking straight.
Next thing I know Daryn has pressed his lips to mine with his hands around my waist and I am so stunned that I fucking freeze, releasing my grip on his collar. What the fuck? Why do people always fucking hit on me? I'm not even that hot!
"Daryn, what the fuck?" I hear come from behind me. I am thrown away from Daryn and turn around to see Carly Dear, the slut of the year.
"That fucking fag kissed me and I was too stunned to move," he lies in a panicked voice.
"Eww, Gerard is a fag? I totally had a crush on him but... eww!" she comments as if I'm not right fucking there.
"Wait a fucking second. I did not kiss you! You are a liar bastard. You fucking kissed me!" I shout to Daryn.
"Shut the fuck up, Way! I'm warning you!" he grits out.
"Or fucking what, Daryn? What are you gunna d..." I am broken off by a hard punch to the jaw which forces my head to the side. No fucking way, Daryn just punched me. It's on.
I raise my hand to my jaw, glaring at him seeing a look of regret and fear in his eyes. "You really shouldn't have done that, Daryn!" I snarl. I may not be particularly muscular but I am strong and brutal and everyone knows that. I throw a strong punch to Daryn's gut, causing him to bend over. I knee his hunched over self in the face and he falls back to the floor. I straddle his waist and throw punch after punch to his face. With one particular punch I can actually feel his nose break but I don't stop. I keep punching until I feel the skin on my own hands rip making me bleed just as he is but I don't care. There is so much blood as I hit him with a tirade of blows to his face and the blood is splashing onto my shirt but I don't care. "This is for my Frankie. Never fucking touch him again!" I shout as I continue my assault, almost certain that Daryn is unconscious but I don't care.
Then I feel something hit me in the ribs, throwing me off of Daryn. I am encircled by his goons and I can't fucking take all of them, there are like six of them looking menacingly at me. They start kicking me in the ribs and a few on the face, scratching up my jaw and giving me a nose bleed. Just when I feel like I am going to fucking die someone calls out. Mr. Crain, what a fucking life saver! The relentless kicking stops and I get up, grabbing my bags. I need to check on my Frankie. What if all this has made him feel as worthless as he did a couple of week ago and how I made him feel for years. What if he has hurt himself?
I run straight out of the block, ignoring Mr. Crain's persistent calls of my name. I run as far as I can to Frank's before I start to feel dizzy and opt for walking.
Once I reach Frank's door I can hear Pierce The Veil coming from his living room, good, that means he's in. I ring the doorbell and I can hear shuffling about before a tired looking Frank opens the door. Shit, he looks terrified. His pupils are blown and he has a hand covering his mouth. I need to reassure him, I came here because I'm worried for him, not the other way around. "Frank," I start, finding speech difficult and feeling my legs getting weak. I need to sit down. "It's okay," I continue before I feel the world fucking rushing around in circles, "It's..." I say before my legs give way and I am collapsing into Frank's warm body.
And then my world become a black haze.
Notes
Shit, Gee! Why you got to start shit!?So yeah, that is what happened...
Not cool... Looks like I'm back to being evil.
Meh.
I am so fucking sleeeeppyyyyy!!!!
It is 2AM but yeah I am, for some reason, exhausted.
Meh.
P.S. Next comment is comment 300! Whoever gets next comment should feel proud!
Hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading.
Charley <3
@Thatonefriend
Well it might not have tied up all the ends, but I read the last chapter & it seems like an ending, although the author said "no more than four more chapters" so yeah p much the end.
12/22/18