I'm really not okay.
Chapter 23- I'll be there when your last breath's taken away
We spent our day talking about any random shit and I told everyone all of the romantic stuff that Gee had done for me on Valentine's day, which honestly made me remember just how in love I am with him and how perfect he is. Then I remembered last night and how awesome he made me feel and that this morning he offered for me to top which of course, being a horny teenage boy, meant that I was more than pleased when everyone else left.
Hayley and Kellin went home because they needed to relax and some shit about work that I didn't actually pay much attention to.
Mikey went to his room to do homework, Ray went home to do homework, Izzy went home to do homework, Bob went home to do homework. I guess by having not gone to school that me and Gee have fuck tonnes of homework to do... meh.
"So, what do you wanna do now, Baby," Gee asks immediately after Mikey shuts his basement-bedroom door, as he snakes his arms around my waist.
"Hmm... I have some ideas," I replied, turning to Gee, biting my lip. Gerard raises his eyebrow which causes me to smirk. I push him backward until his knees hit the bed and he falls onto the soft mattress, me landing over him, prepared for the fall, on my hands and knees.
"Oh," Gerard says smirking right back at me. I softly frame his face, kissing him passionately. Gee immediately kisses back, deepening the kiss by wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling us closer. I slide my hands down his beautiful, and sadly clothed, body to rest them on his hips. "Too many clothes," Gerard breathes against my lips as if he had read my mind. I of course comply to his wishes and sit up, shedding us of our tops before my hands go back to his hips, his back around my neck, and I am working my lips against his again.
Gerard starts to thread one hand through my hair, tugging at the hairs there, before he rakes one hand down my back. I can feel the form scratch of his blunt nails against my back and it burns in a beautiful way. I moan as I grind my hips down on his, seeking some friction against my now hard dick. Gee moans too and thrusts upward when I grind. We continue this until I'm sure that any more and we'd both be cumming in our boxers. I move my hands in between us,thumbing open the button to Gerard's jeans and pulling down the zipper. I raise my body enough to pull his jeans off and put my hand into the waistband of his boxers, grinning up at the clearly turned on Gee from where my face is now right by his crotch. I slowly inch his boxers down, allowing my breath to fan over his newly exposed hip bones before I lean in nipping them. I am so close to fully pulling off his boxers, I lick across the very top of the waistband, literally centimetres from his twitching cock.
"GERA- HOLY SHIT!"
HOLY MOTHER FUCKING WHAT SHIT WANK! WHO!? I jolt up and away from my boyfriend's penis glancing at the woman in the doorway of his room before glancing back at him. I can see that she is covering her face in what is clearly disgust and that Gerard is blushing frantically whilst covering himself with his sheets.
"Hi mom," he mumbles, mortified.
Holy shit.
I don't think this is the sort of first impression that Gee was hoping for...
"Hey, Sugar," Gerard says as he makes his way to where I am cuddled up in his bed.
"How did talking to your parents go?" I whisper, scared that they'll know I'm talking about them.
"Well, apparenly Mrs. Fax called, complaining that I haven't been to her lessons in over a week which, however true, is a really shitty thing to do!" he rants.
"I meant the thing with your mum seeing me with your dick practically in my mouth!" I over exaggerate.
"Oh right, they aren't angry and they know we are together and shit they are just a bit grossed out knowing about... well that and obviously my mum wants to have a deep brain cleanse to remove what she just saw but yeah..." he rushes out quickly, I assume to try and comfort me quickly but a lot of what he says just seriously makes me cringe. "Oh and there's something else..." he adds happily. I feel his breath ghost across my, still exposed, right shoulder - telling me that he has leaned in closer to whisper something - before he kisses it softly. "I'm getting a lock for my door," he whispers which is a weird sentence to sounds seductive but it isn't the lock talk that gets me... it is the beautiful outcomes of having a lock.
"Holy fucking shit!" I screech, turning around to face Gerard. "Are you for fucking real? My parent's would never let me get a lock if they knew I was going to be fucking!" I say, much quieter, and am baffled by the confused expression which Gee displays. Then I remember. "Well... parent..." I fix, turning back around to hide the tears welling in my eyes. What sort of son forgets his mother's death? Why am I such a screw up and a general fucking failure? I feel my body start to shake as the tears over well and I am instantly sobbing.
"Shh, it's okay, Fairy. I'm here, you're okay," Gee coos as he picks me up and climbs under the sheets with me, cuddling me into his chest. I just cry more as I fist my hands in the shirt which he'd put on as he went to talk to his parents. I literally cling to him, pulling myself impossibly close to him.
"I... for-g-got..." I sob. "W-wha-uh-t kind o-of son for-gets h-his own m-moth-er is d-d-dea..." I trail off, unable to finish my sentence because I'm crying so much.
"Baby, it's okay. You haven't really had all that much time to process it. It doesn't make you any lesson perfect. I\ll always look after you, I'll always be there to you," he states but, as if he knew that I was about to argue, continues "I'll be there when your heart stops beating, I'll be there when your last breath's taken away..." he sings softly to me which causes me to smile even through the tears. He knows that I love that song, and band, and he knows how to make me feel significant. He is so perfect.
I lean up, placing a loving peck to his lips. Both of us knowing that the situation demands for no more, we leave it at just a small peck on the lips. "Go to sleep now, Frankie. Tomorrow is Sunday and we can do anything that you want, okay, Baby?" Gee whispers to me and I nod, cuddling into his again as we let sleep wash over us.
I wake up to the sound of singing again, it is the same song as yesterday and from the same voice. Only today it is sung much slower, much more mournfully and I only hear a much smaller segment than when I last heard it.
What's the worst thing I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight
And then it just stops, no more singing. And with that Gerard emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet and dripping down his milky torso. Once he sees that I'm sat up staring at him he begins to blush.
"Franks, how long have you been awake?" he says, covering his face with his red, dripping wet, hair.
"Well I heard you sing if that's what you mean," I say with a smirk knowing that is exactly what he was enquiring about. He blushes more and covers his face with his hands.
"I am so shitting embarrassed... I can't even sin..."
"Hold up, what? Were you going to say you can't sing?" I cut him off. Gerard nods. "Well you are fucking wrong, you sing beautifully! Like... fuck!" I exclaim, jumping up and walking to him, putting my hand under his chin and gently lifting his head so he's forced to look at me.
"Ya think?" he asks shy and I nod in awe, how the fuck can he not fucking know how awesome he is!?
"And the song... I've never heard it... What is it?" I question and he averts his gaze.
"I uh... I wrote it for my grandma Helena when she passed," he whispers.
"Well it is truly fucking beautiful, Gerard..." I trail off before complimenting the song in all the ways I had planned because an ingenious idea just popped into my head. "Fuck, Gee. I know what I want to do today!" I exclaim and Gerard makes eye contact with me again.
"Really? What?" he asks, genuinely interested.
"Well I was the only person that my mother had so I'd like to plan her funeral," I say, somewhat morbidly which is understandable given the context, to which Gerard nods sympathetically.
"Right but what does that have to do with my so..."
"I want you to sing that song at her funeral," I interrupt him.
"Fuck, Frankie. I can't sing in front of people. I can't do that. I have never let anyone, except accidentally you, hear me sing. Not even my mother. Besides I don't play any instruments and it's too dry without music. Also I..." he begins to ramble. I quickly kiss him to shut him up, which obviously works.
"Relax, Gee. There will only be us, my friends and new family. Of course your parents are welcome too. That adds up to no more that fifteen people, all of which you know well, also my father can play piano" I inform him calmly, hoping to persuade him.
"I'm sorry, Frankie. I wish I could do this for you but I can't... I'm a shitty boyfriend," he sighs.
"No, Babe, you aren't. It was a big request, don't worry. I can just play music from a CD," I say with a smile of understanding. "I love you, Gee. You are so perfect. The best boyfriend ever so don't underestimate yourself," I say, kissing Gee again lightly. He nods and I hug him tight, which he immediately responds to.
"I love you too," Gerard whispers against my still naked shoulder.
"Okay, let's just plan the funeral, okay?" I ask Gerard with my best pleading eyes. He nods and we set our making plans for the funeral. Once we are done it is 2PM and I decide to spend some of the money I get from my mother's will on mine and Gerard's lunch.
We arrive at pizza express, which was the only restaurant within walking distance, and we sit down and order - me getting a vegen-friendly mozzarella pizza and Gerard getting a pasta and chicken sauce thing. Our food arrives and, aside from the chicken in Gee's, looks exquisite.We eat our meals, talking about Lord Of The Rings. We sit there for ages after we're done, enjoying the atmosphere because I feel pretty fucking sophisticated right about now, and then I pay - to which Gerard argues is not right a bunch of times - and we walk to mine, which - considering that we have a lucky bank holiday scheduled for tomorrow (yey) - Gee's parents have given his permission to sleep out.
We get in and snuggle on the sofa watching shit on TV and just enjoying each other's company. Once it gets to bed time, yeah I still call it bed time, we go to my room and I cuddle Gee into me, resting his head on my chest.
We say our good nights and as I'm about to fall asleep I can hear Gee softly whisper my name.
"What is it, Babe?" I ask.
"I love you so much. I'd do anything for you... including singing that song at the funeral..." he whispers the last part and I take a moment to process that he just said that.
"What? Really? For me?" I ask, clearly overjoyed, as I pull him even closer to me.
"Yeah, Baby. I love you so fucking much so I'll do it," he says, smiling against my chest.
"Thank you, Gerard. It means the fucking world!" I grin, pulling him up for a quick kiss before cuddling him into me again.
"It's okay, Baby. I love you. Sweet dreams,"
"Sleep well, Babe, I love you too," I respond as I hold Gerard and we both fall into sleep.
He truly is perfect.
Hayley and Kellin went home because they needed to relax and some shit about work that I didn't actually pay much attention to.
Mikey went to his room to do homework, Ray went home to do homework, Izzy went home to do homework, Bob went home to do homework. I guess by having not gone to school that me and Gee have fuck tonnes of homework to do... meh.
"So, what do you wanna do now, Baby," Gee asks immediately after Mikey shuts his basement-bedroom door, as he snakes his arms around my waist.
"Hmm... I have some ideas," I replied, turning to Gee, biting my lip. Gerard raises his eyebrow which causes me to smirk. I push him backward until his knees hit the bed and he falls onto the soft mattress, me landing over him, prepared for the fall, on my hands and knees.
"Oh," Gerard says smirking right back at me. I softly frame his face, kissing him passionately. Gee immediately kisses back, deepening the kiss by wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling us closer. I slide my hands down his beautiful, and sadly clothed, body to rest them on his hips. "Too many clothes," Gerard breathes against my lips as if he had read my mind. I of course comply to his wishes and sit up, shedding us of our tops before my hands go back to his hips, his back around my neck, and I am working my lips against his again.
Gerard starts to thread one hand through my hair, tugging at the hairs there, before he rakes one hand down my back. I can feel the form scratch of his blunt nails against my back and it burns in a beautiful way. I moan as I grind my hips down on his, seeking some friction against my now hard dick. Gee moans too and thrusts upward when I grind. We continue this until I'm sure that any more and we'd both be cumming in our boxers. I move my hands in between us,thumbing open the button to Gerard's jeans and pulling down the zipper. I raise my body enough to pull his jeans off and put my hand into the waistband of his boxers, grinning up at the clearly turned on Gee from where my face is now right by his crotch. I slowly inch his boxers down, allowing my breath to fan over his newly exposed hip bones before I lean in nipping them. I am so close to fully pulling off his boxers, I lick across the very top of the waistband, literally centimetres from his twitching cock.
"GERA- HOLY SHIT!"
HOLY MOTHER FUCKING WHAT SHIT WANK! WHO!? I jolt up and away from my boyfriend's penis glancing at the woman in the doorway of his room before glancing back at him. I can see that she is covering her face in what is clearly disgust and that Gerard is blushing frantically whilst covering himself with his sheets.
"Hi mom," he mumbles, mortified.
Holy shit.
I don't think this is the sort of first impression that Gee was hoping for...
"Hey, Sugar," Gerard says as he makes his way to where I am cuddled up in his bed.
"How did talking to your parents go?" I whisper, scared that they'll know I'm talking about them.
"Well, apparenly Mrs. Fax called, complaining that I haven't been to her lessons in over a week which, however true, is a really shitty thing to do!" he rants.
"I meant the thing with your mum seeing me with your dick practically in my mouth!" I over exaggerate.
"Oh right, they aren't angry and they know we are together and shit they are just a bit grossed out knowing about... well that and obviously my mum wants to have a deep brain cleanse to remove what she just saw but yeah..." he rushes out quickly, I assume to try and comfort me quickly but a lot of what he says just seriously makes me cringe. "Oh and there's something else..." he adds happily. I feel his breath ghost across my, still exposed, right shoulder - telling me that he has leaned in closer to whisper something - before he kisses it softly. "I'm getting a lock for my door," he whispers which is a weird sentence to sounds seductive but it isn't the lock talk that gets me... it is the beautiful outcomes of having a lock.
"Holy fucking shit!" I screech, turning around to face Gerard. "Are you for fucking real? My parent's would never let me get a lock if they knew I was going to be fucking!" I say, much quieter, and am baffled by the confused expression which Gee displays. Then I remember. "Well... parent..." I fix, turning back around to hide the tears welling in my eyes. What sort of son forgets his mother's death? Why am I such a screw up and a general fucking failure? I feel my body start to shake as the tears over well and I am instantly sobbing.
"Shh, it's okay, Fairy. I'm here, you're okay," Gee coos as he picks me up and climbs under the sheets with me, cuddling me into his chest. I just cry more as I fist my hands in the shirt which he'd put on as he went to talk to his parents. I literally cling to him, pulling myself impossibly close to him.
"I... for-g-got..." I sob. "W-wha-uh-t kind o-of son for-gets h-his own m-moth-er is d-d-dea..." I trail off, unable to finish my sentence because I'm crying so much.
"Baby, it's okay. You haven't really had all that much time to process it. It doesn't make you any lesson perfect. I\ll always look after you, I'll always be there to you," he states but, as if he knew that I was about to argue, continues "I'll be there when your heart stops beating, I'll be there when your last breath's taken away..." he sings softly to me which causes me to smile even through the tears. He knows that I love that song, and band, and he knows how to make me feel significant. He is so perfect.
I lean up, placing a loving peck to his lips. Both of us knowing that the situation demands for no more, we leave it at just a small peck on the lips. "Go to sleep now, Frankie. Tomorrow is Sunday and we can do anything that you want, okay, Baby?" Gee whispers to me and I nod, cuddling into his again as we let sleep wash over us.
I wake up to the sound of singing again, it is the same song as yesterday and from the same voice. Only today it is sung much slower, much more mournfully and I only hear a much smaller segment than when I last heard it.
What's the worst thing I can say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight
And then it just stops, no more singing. And with that Gerard emerges from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet and dripping down his milky torso. Once he sees that I'm sat up staring at him he begins to blush.
"Franks, how long have you been awake?" he says, covering his face with his red, dripping wet, hair.
"Well I heard you sing if that's what you mean," I say with a smirk knowing that is exactly what he was enquiring about. He blushes more and covers his face with his hands.
"I am so shitting embarrassed... I can't even sin..."
"Hold up, what? Were you going to say you can't sing?" I cut him off. Gerard nods. "Well you are fucking wrong, you sing beautifully! Like... fuck!" I exclaim, jumping up and walking to him, putting my hand under his chin and gently lifting his head so he's forced to look at me.
"Ya think?" he asks shy and I nod in awe, how the fuck can he not fucking know how awesome he is!?
"And the song... I've never heard it... What is it?" I question and he averts his gaze.
"I uh... I wrote it for my grandma Helena when she passed," he whispers.
"Well it is truly fucking beautiful, Gerard..." I trail off before complimenting the song in all the ways I had planned because an ingenious idea just popped into my head. "Fuck, Gee. I know what I want to do today!" I exclaim and Gerard makes eye contact with me again.
"Really? What?" he asks, genuinely interested.
"Well I was the only person that my mother had so I'd like to plan her funeral," I say, somewhat morbidly which is understandable given the context, to which Gerard nods sympathetically.
"Right but what does that have to do with my so..."
"I want you to sing that song at her funeral," I interrupt him.
"Fuck, Frankie. I can't sing in front of people. I can't do that. I have never let anyone, except accidentally you, hear me sing. Not even my mother. Besides I don't play any instruments and it's too dry without music. Also I..." he begins to ramble. I quickly kiss him to shut him up, which obviously works.
"Relax, Gee. There will only be us, my friends and new family. Of course your parents are welcome too. That adds up to no more that fifteen people, all of which you know well, also my father can play piano" I inform him calmly, hoping to persuade him.
"I'm sorry, Frankie. I wish I could do this for you but I can't... I'm a shitty boyfriend," he sighs.
"No, Babe, you aren't. It was a big request, don't worry. I can just play music from a CD," I say with a smile of understanding. "I love you, Gee. You are so perfect. The best boyfriend ever so don't underestimate yourself," I say, kissing Gee again lightly. He nods and I hug him tight, which he immediately responds to.
"I love you too," Gerard whispers against my still naked shoulder.
"Okay, let's just plan the funeral, okay?" I ask Gerard with my best pleading eyes. He nods and we set our making plans for the funeral. Once we are done it is 2PM and I decide to spend some of the money I get from my mother's will on mine and Gerard's lunch.
We arrive at pizza express, which was the only restaurant within walking distance, and we sit down and order - me getting a vegen-friendly mozzarella pizza and Gerard getting a pasta and chicken sauce thing. Our food arrives and, aside from the chicken in Gee's, looks exquisite.We eat our meals, talking about Lord Of The Rings. We sit there for ages after we're done, enjoying the atmosphere because I feel pretty fucking sophisticated right about now, and then I pay - to which Gerard argues is not right a bunch of times - and we walk to mine, which - considering that we have a lucky bank holiday scheduled for tomorrow (yey) - Gee's parents have given his permission to sleep out.
We get in and snuggle on the sofa watching shit on TV and just enjoying each other's company. Once it gets to bed time, yeah I still call it bed time, we go to my room and I cuddle Gee into me, resting his head on my chest.
We say our good nights and as I'm about to fall asleep I can hear Gee softly whisper my name.
"What is it, Babe?" I ask.
"I love you so much. I'd do anything for you... including singing that song at the funeral..." he whispers the last part and I take a moment to process that he just said that.
"What? Really? For me?" I ask, clearly overjoyed, as I pull him even closer to me.
"Yeah, Baby. I love you so fucking much so I'll do it," he says, smiling against my chest.
"Thank you, Gerard. It means the fucking world!" I grin, pulling him up for a quick kiss before cuddling him into me again.
"It's okay, Baby. I love you. Sweet dreams,"
"Sleep well, Babe, I love you too," I respond as I hold Gerard and we both fall into sleep.
He truly is perfect.
Notes
Bet you guys thought I was going to kill someone or make it super morbid because of the chapter name! If you did then I got you! If not then... Oh...But yeah, did anyone know what song and/or band the lyrics that soothed the crying Frankie were?
Do I even make sense?
I might...
No, probably not...
Sorry this is rushed and disorganised but I owed you guys a chapter so voila!
Because I struggle to cope at school I've had lessons cut and may therefore be able to update more frequently as I once did! :P
I don't know, we'll see.
Although I am still technically banned...
Meh!
Thanks for putting up with my random shit and for reading my story.
Charley <3
@Thatonefriend
Well it might not have tied up all the ends, but I read the last chapter & it seems like an ending, although the author said "no more than four more chapters" so yeah p much the end.
12/22/18