I'm really not okay.
Chapter 18- Time for a change
“There is no easy way to tell you this, Mr. Iero,” the police officer began, stopping to sigh. “And I wish that what I’m about to say were untrue…” he let off again. I wish he would just fucking tell me! Seriously, about a hundred different scenarios are running through my mind. “We found a car in a field in the early hours of the morning, Mr. Iero. The car was wrecked and upside down. It had spun off of the road and flipped through the field. When we got to the car, in the driver’s seat was…” The policeman raises his head and looks me in the eye sighing again. I really want to know who the fuck died already! I can’t handle the fucking suspense of this shit! “It was your mother, Ms. Linda Iero. I am so sorry to have to tell you this Frank. It appears that she was intoxicated and that the accident had occurred nights ago, Tuesday the eighth of February…” he trails off. “So a week ago,” he clarifies.
“Okay, is that all?” I ask casually.
“Excuse me?” he replies.
“Well I assume I will go and live with my father, which is all fine I can pack and get him to pick me up tonight, but is that all you had to tell me?” I ask, coolly.
“Umm…” the policeman stammers. “Yes, Mr. Iero…” he pauses again, standing and walking to the door, his eyebrows still knitted in confusion. “I am sorry for your loss,” he mumbles as he lets himself out. I stand and walk into the kitchen, putting on my coffee maker because I am still so hungover and coffee is an amazing cure-all.
Once the coffee is made I poor myself a cup, adding lots of sugar because I need that when I’m hanging. I turn around and am startled to see Gerard, I forgot he was here. “What the fuck was that?” he shouts.
“Oh, I was startled,” I reply. “I forgot you were here,” I explain with a chuckle and Gee strides across the room to me, pouring himself a cup of coffee before he continues.
“Not that!” he says, grumpily. “What was that ‘is that all’ business?” Gee looks at me, brow furrowed with confusion.
“I don’t know. It’s nothing…” I lead off, gulping my coffee. It is so fucking good and what I need right now. “Do you want to help me pack all of my shit?” I ask Gerard who looks at me stunned before he nods unsurely. “Okay, c’mon,” I grab Gee’s hand and lead him upstairs, making sure to leave our cups by the sink. Gerard sends Bob a quick text explaining what has happened. Gerard is really pale and his eyes are blown like he is shocked or something but I don’t know why he would be.
After about five hours everything I want to keep is packed away, including my posters, CDs, clothes, shoes and laptop. We had moved every single box and bag to the living room and I was ready to be picked up by my father, who I had called and had agreed to pick me up and have me move in with him by 7PM. Gerard had literally been silent the whole fucking time and I was too tired to start a conversation; it was awkward as fuck.
“Frank, it’s like 4PM and we haven’t eaten all day. Want me to cook for you?” I thought for a moment before deciding that I couldn’t eat something that Gee made. It would probably be a huge portion.
“No, Babe, I’ll cook. Keep me company?” I ask, stretching a hand to Gerard and he takes it, smiling. I help him up and we go to the kitchen when I realize that we have hardly any food. “Shit…”
“What?”
“There is like no fucking food in this place. Could you check the cupboards for like pasta or something?” I ask Gee and he finds a packet of penne whilst I search in the fridge and fine tomato passata. I could just make pasta and sauce, I guess.
I start boiling the pasta and make the sauce, using garlic and herbs to make it taste nice. The whole time that I’m cooking Gerard is stood behind me with his arms around my waist kissing the expanse of my shoulder neck and ear. He is being really fucking distracting, causing occasional moans. I’m trying to cook though and I refuse for him to make me cum whilst I am cooking pasta for fucks sake so I try my best to show him no reaction. Just as Gerard’s hands start skating downward the pasta over boils and he jumps back. Thank God. The first time he gets me off will not be in my mother’s kitchen whilst I am cooking.
Gee takes a seat at the table when I ask because now I have to serve the mediocre meal. I grab two plates and serve the pasta and sauce. I grate cheese into a bowl and bring Gerard’s plate over with the cheese. I go back and get my plate as well as some cutlery before I sit down and eat.
“This is lovely, Fairy. Thank you,” Gerard says with a sincere smile as he grabs my free hand.
“It’s a pleasure to cook for you, Gee. I think I just naturally cook Italian foods quite well because my mama used to cook for me all the time growing up,” I smile at Gee. He gives me a sad smile and squeezes my hand. Why the fuck is he sad?
“Gee, why are you sad?” I ask him because I really need to fucking know.
“Just hearing you talk about your mum…” he looks down before looking back at me. “It’s just sad,” he says and there is a tear in his eye. What? What the fuck is going on?
“Gee, what the fuck is sad?” Gerard looks at me confused. “These are like the happiest memories I have of her,” I stare at him. “Gerard, why are you so upse…” I don’t finish what I’m saying because it hits me.
My mother is dead.
She is fucking dead.
Oh my God.
I drop my fork and cover my mouth with my hand and I feel like I’m dying. My mother may have been an evil drunk but she was my mother. I loved her, and when she was sober she loved me too. That was rare is all. And now I’ll never have it again. Because she is dead and the last thing she ever said to me was ‘HE LEFT BECAUSE YOU WERE EVER BORN!’. The last interaction we had was a kick that she sent to my stomach. I can never re-write that… (A/N: Ironic because I totally could but I won’t)
I stare into Gee’s eyes and all of a sudden tears are streaming down my face. “Shit, Gee… My mum… My mama is de-dead!” I shout. Gerard stands up and walks over to me, picking me up. He kisses my head as he starts walking upstairs.
“Shhh, it’s okay, Fairy. I’m here and I will stay with you, okay? I promise that It’ll get better, Frankie, I promise,” Gerard whispers as he lays on my bed, still holding me. I cling to him, burying my face in his neck. I cling so tightly to his shirt because I can’t have him leave, if he left I would die. Literally. I would literally kill myself if I lost Gerard. He and Izzy are all I have now. I don’t even have a half-caring mother anymore. I’m so alone. “Shh, you’re okay, Baby. It’s all okay. I will protect you, I will always protect you and I’m always going to be here, Fairy. I love you,” Gerard soothes me.
“Love you too, Gee,” I say through tears. Gerard hold me tight as my exhausted mind welcomes sleep.
“Franks, Frankie, Baby, you have to wake up now, c’mon, please,” I hear breathed into my ear. I rub my eyes and open them. I look up and see Gerard still holding me in the exact same position as when I fell asleep. “Hello, Sugar,” Gee murmurs as he leans down and gives me a soft kiss. “There was a knock at the door about a minute ago and seeing as it is 7:12PM I am assuming that it is your dad,” Gerard explains. I nod and kiss him quickly again before walking to the door. I open the door to reveal a pretty girl. She was about 5’2” with bright orange hair and her eyes are brown on the inside, green in the middle and blue on the outside. She is pale and when she smiles I can see that she has a slight gap in her front teeth. She is pretty fucking gorgeous even to me and I’m gay… but who the fuck is she?
“Frank?” the girl asks and I nod. “Hey, I’m like your new sister!” she screeches. Umm… What? “You are Frank Iero’s son right?” I nod again. “Right, well he married my mum so yeah. Hey, bro!” she chuckles, throwing her arms around me and I awkwardly hug back.
“Hey…” I murmur.
“Umm… I’m sorry about your mum, are you okay?” she asks once she has pulled away. I nod awkwardly. “Right well, let’s get you moved in!” she smiles at me. She calls someone over from what I assume is her car and a boy with black shoulder length hair wearing a brown leather jacket comes into sight. He walks into the house and awkwardly shakes my hand. I notice that he is about one inch taller than Gerard so around 5’8” I guess. He has a tattoo on his chest just below his collar bones. He smiles at me as he shakes my hand and I notice that his eyes are really deep blue. He is also pale and just like the girl he is gorgeous.
“Hey, I’m the gremlin’s brother,” he laughs pointing at the short girl.
“Hey, you cheeky sod!” she giggles, pushing him. “And he’s lying, he isn’t my brother, he is my half-brother, we have different dad,” she tells me. That would explain why they only have a few similarities between them. But all in all they are a very attractive pair of siblings. I must have a beautiful step mother although I haven’t even met her yet.
“Cool, I’m an only child!” I say to them. “Well I was,” I attempt to joke but am sure that, due to my sadness, I failed.
“Cool, hey I’m K…” the boy starts before he stops. “Who the fuck is that gorgeous guy?” he whispers, pointing to the top of the stairs where I turn to find Gee stood.
“That is Gerard, he’s my beautiful boyfriend,” I say with a smile. Gerard smiles at that too. He descends the stairs and kisses me briefly.
“Hey, Baby. Who are they?” he asks curiously.
“This is my new family,” I smile to the teens. They are probably a bit older but I’m glad that I have siblings a similar age to me.
I can tell this move will be for the better.
“Okay, is that all?” I ask casually.
“Excuse me?” he replies.
“Well I assume I will go and live with my father, which is all fine I can pack and get him to pick me up tonight, but is that all you had to tell me?” I ask, coolly.
“Umm…” the policeman stammers. “Yes, Mr. Iero…” he pauses again, standing and walking to the door, his eyebrows still knitted in confusion. “I am sorry for your loss,” he mumbles as he lets himself out. I stand and walk into the kitchen, putting on my coffee maker because I am still so hungover and coffee is an amazing cure-all.
Once the coffee is made I poor myself a cup, adding lots of sugar because I need that when I’m hanging. I turn around and am startled to see Gerard, I forgot he was here. “What the fuck was that?” he shouts.
“Oh, I was startled,” I reply. “I forgot you were here,” I explain with a chuckle and Gee strides across the room to me, pouring himself a cup of coffee before he continues.
“Not that!” he says, grumpily. “What was that ‘is that all’ business?” Gee looks at me, brow furrowed with confusion.
“I don’t know. It’s nothing…” I lead off, gulping my coffee. It is so fucking good and what I need right now. “Do you want to help me pack all of my shit?” I ask Gerard who looks at me stunned before he nods unsurely. “Okay, c’mon,” I grab Gee’s hand and lead him upstairs, making sure to leave our cups by the sink. Gerard sends Bob a quick text explaining what has happened. Gerard is really pale and his eyes are blown like he is shocked or something but I don’t know why he would be.
After about five hours everything I want to keep is packed away, including my posters, CDs, clothes, shoes and laptop. We had moved every single box and bag to the living room and I was ready to be picked up by my father, who I had called and had agreed to pick me up and have me move in with him by 7PM. Gerard had literally been silent the whole fucking time and I was too tired to start a conversation; it was awkward as fuck.
“Frank, it’s like 4PM and we haven’t eaten all day. Want me to cook for you?” I thought for a moment before deciding that I couldn’t eat something that Gee made. It would probably be a huge portion.
“No, Babe, I’ll cook. Keep me company?” I ask, stretching a hand to Gerard and he takes it, smiling. I help him up and we go to the kitchen when I realize that we have hardly any food. “Shit…”
“What?”
“There is like no fucking food in this place. Could you check the cupboards for like pasta or something?” I ask Gee and he finds a packet of penne whilst I search in the fridge and fine tomato passata. I could just make pasta and sauce, I guess.
I start boiling the pasta and make the sauce, using garlic and herbs to make it taste nice. The whole time that I’m cooking Gerard is stood behind me with his arms around my waist kissing the expanse of my shoulder neck and ear. He is being really fucking distracting, causing occasional moans. I’m trying to cook though and I refuse for him to make me cum whilst I am cooking pasta for fucks sake so I try my best to show him no reaction. Just as Gerard’s hands start skating downward the pasta over boils and he jumps back. Thank God. The first time he gets me off will not be in my mother’s kitchen whilst I am cooking.
Gee takes a seat at the table when I ask because now I have to serve the mediocre meal. I grab two plates and serve the pasta and sauce. I grate cheese into a bowl and bring Gerard’s plate over with the cheese. I go back and get my plate as well as some cutlery before I sit down and eat.
“This is lovely, Fairy. Thank you,” Gerard says with a sincere smile as he grabs my free hand.
“It’s a pleasure to cook for you, Gee. I think I just naturally cook Italian foods quite well because my mama used to cook for me all the time growing up,” I smile at Gee. He gives me a sad smile and squeezes my hand. Why the fuck is he sad?
“Gee, why are you sad?” I ask him because I really need to fucking know.
“Just hearing you talk about your mum…” he looks down before looking back at me. “It’s just sad,” he says and there is a tear in his eye. What? What the fuck is going on?
“Gee, what the fuck is sad?” Gerard looks at me confused. “These are like the happiest memories I have of her,” I stare at him. “Gerard, why are you so upse…” I don’t finish what I’m saying because it hits me.
My mother is dead.
She is fucking dead.
Oh my God.
I drop my fork and cover my mouth with my hand and I feel like I’m dying. My mother may have been an evil drunk but she was my mother. I loved her, and when she was sober she loved me too. That was rare is all. And now I’ll never have it again. Because she is dead and the last thing she ever said to me was ‘HE LEFT BECAUSE YOU WERE EVER BORN!’. The last interaction we had was a kick that she sent to my stomach. I can never re-write that… (A/N: Ironic because I totally could but I won’t)
I stare into Gee’s eyes and all of a sudden tears are streaming down my face. “Shit, Gee… My mum… My mama is de-dead!” I shout. Gerard stands up and walks over to me, picking me up. He kisses my head as he starts walking upstairs.
“Shhh, it’s okay, Fairy. I’m here and I will stay with you, okay? I promise that It’ll get better, Frankie, I promise,” Gerard whispers as he lays on my bed, still holding me. I cling to him, burying my face in his neck. I cling so tightly to his shirt because I can’t have him leave, if he left I would die. Literally. I would literally kill myself if I lost Gerard. He and Izzy are all I have now. I don’t even have a half-caring mother anymore. I’m so alone. “Shh, you’re okay, Baby. It’s all okay. I will protect you, I will always protect you and I’m always going to be here, Fairy. I love you,” Gerard soothes me.
“Love you too, Gee,” I say through tears. Gerard hold me tight as my exhausted mind welcomes sleep.
“Franks, Frankie, Baby, you have to wake up now, c’mon, please,” I hear breathed into my ear. I rub my eyes and open them. I look up and see Gerard still holding me in the exact same position as when I fell asleep. “Hello, Sugar,” Gee murmurs as he leans down and gives me a soft kiss. “There was a knock at the door about a minute ago and seeing as it is 7:12PM I am assuming that it is your dad,” Gerard explains. I nod and kiss him quickly again before walking to the door. I open the door to reveal a pretty girl. She was about 5’2” with bright orange hair and her eyes are brown on the inside, green in the middle and blue on the outside. She is pale and when she smiles I can see that she has a slight gap in her front teeth. She is pretty fucking gorgeous even to me and I’m gay… but who the fuck is she?
“Frank?” the girl asks and I nod. “Hey, I’m like your new sister!” she screeches. Umm… What? “You are Frank Iero’s son right?” I nod again. “Right, well he married my mum so yeah. Hey, bro!” she chuckles, throwing her arms around me and I awkwardly hug back.
“Hey…” I murmur.
“Umm… I’m sorry about your mum, are you okay?” she asks once she has pulled away. I nod awkwardly. “Right well, let’s get you moved in!” she smiles at me. She calls someone over from what I assume is her car and a boy with black shoulder length hair wearing a brown leather jacket comes into sight. He walks into the house and awkwardly shakes my hand. I notice that he is about one inch taller than Gerard so around 5’8” I guess. He has a tattoo on his chest just below his collar bones. He smiles at me as he shakes my hand and I notice that his eyes are really deep blue. He is also pale and just like the girl he is gorgeous.
“Hey, I’m the gremlin’s brother,” he laughs pointing at the short girl.
“Hey, you cheeky sod!” she giggles, pushing him. “And he’s lying, he isn’t my brother, he is my half-brother, we have different dad,” she tells me. That would explain why they only have a few similarities between them. But all in all they are a very attractive pair of siblings. I must have a beautiful step mother although I haven’t even met her yet.
“Cool, I’m an only child!” I say to them. “Well I was,” I attempt to joke but am sure that, due to my sadness, I failed.
“Cool, hey I’m K…” the boy starts before he stops. “Who the fuck is that gorgeous guy?” he whispers, pointing to the top of the stairs where I turn to find Gee stood.
“That is Gerard, he’s my beautiful boyfriend,” I say with a smile. Gerard smiles at that too. He descends the stairs and kisses me briefly.
“Hey, Baby. Who are they?” he asks curiously.
“This is my new family,” I smile to the teens. They are probably a bit older but I’m glad that I have siblings a similar age to me.
I can tell this move will be for the better.
Notes
YEEAAH!!MOST OF YOU GUYS GUESSED IT!!
YOU GUYS JUST KNOW ME SO WELL!! WE ARE SO IN SYNC!!
And I clearly don't desire for the real Mama Iero to die but she was evil in this!
Plus I felt like there was clearly not enough drama...
And yeah, I added some actual dates and shit.
Oh and it may seem unrealistic how Frank acted normal and organised moving out and shit but didn't click that his mother had died but this happened to me with my aunt so even if it is abnormal it definitely does happen. So yeah.
But this was pretty much a fucked up way to bring in some new characters! :)
And get rid of some evil ones...
Anyhow
Thoughts on the new characters? Like who they may be and shit? :)
Thank you for reading this, only update tonight I'm afraid as GTA V arrived so I am preoccupied with that and writing an essay...
Bleh...
And it was pretty weak... Oops... :/
Hope you enjoyed the chapter and thanks again!
Charley <3
@Thatonefriend
Well it might not have tied up all the ends, but I read the last chapter & it seems like an ending, although the author said "no more than four more chapters" so yeah p much the end.
12/22/18