I'm really not okay.
Chapter 15- Did someone say party?
"Hey, Gee..." I hear someone say from behind Gerard. "Oh..." they breathe, noticing the current situation. "I'll just... wait..." the person finishes. I know that I recognise his voice but I can't place it. Gerard chuckles against my lips before he pulls away and turns his head.
"Hey, Bob," Gee smiles. "What's up, man?" Gerard asks. I open my eyes when I realise that we wouldn't be kissing again in the immediate future. I start making random patterns on Gerard's neck with my fingers as he rubs circles into my hips.
"I just... wanted to hang out before I have maths," Bob explains. I only look over at him now and I realise that it is the same Bob who would help Gee abuse me, until he admitted his feelings for me that is.
"Well I have to go home because I'm not meant to be in school for a couple of days," I tell Gee and Bob. Trying to subtly tell them that I wanted alone time with Gee before I left, not that that was picked up on by either of them.
"So you don't have any plans for the day?" Gerard smirks. Oh, is he thinking of... spending some alone time... yunno... just me and Gerard... HAVING SEX! I shake my head no and Gee's smirk grows, he is definitely planning something cheeky, mischievous... "WE SHOULD HAVE A WELCOME-BACK PARTY!" he cheers, releasing me from his arms and jumping up and down clapping. Well that wasn't even nearly as exciting to me as the thoughts of ma and Gee...
"No," I state simply, pouting.
"Ohhh!" Gerard sulks, wrapping his arms around my waist. "But why not, Baby?" Gerard asks as he scatters kisses across my shoulder, trying to make me agree to a party.
"Because, Gerard," I say before hushing my volume dramatically. "I can't handle all of the people..." I finish, feeling ashamed with myself. He pulls away from where his face was buried in my neck. He holds my chin with one hand, keeping the other around me, massaging my hip sweetly. Gerard looks straight into my eyes with the most reassuring gaze that I'd ever seen.
"It's okay, Frankie, it can be just you, me, Bob, Mikes and your friends," Gerard suggests, voice soft and caring yet reassuring and confident. Hearing him speak with all of those different tones in one simple sentence wraps me with a sense of protection. I nod at him and when that makes him smile I smile too. Gerard leans in and kisses me sweetly and quickly before he pulls back.
"Hey, Bob," Gee catches Bob's attention. Bob huffs a 'what' to Gerard. What crawled up his arse and died to suddenly put him in such a shit mood? "Want to make it an all-day thing? I'm sure that Frank's friends, including Mikes, will all miss him enough to bunk and I sure as fuck am not going to be missing any Frankie-time. It would just be awkward if you joined later," Gee chuckles. Bob lets up on his shitty attitude enough to smile and nod.
"Well, I'll go and get Izzy. You guys should get Mikey and then I'm sure he'll know where Ray is. I'll meet you out front in ten minutes!" I half inform and half instruct Gerard. Gerard leans in, sweetly kissing me goodbye. I release my hold on Gee and grab my bag off of the floor.
"Okay, Baby. See you out front," Gee confirms, giving me a quick hug and kiss on the nose. He is so fucking cute. I hear Bob huff as he does so however which just pisses me off... I really wish that Gee had friends who weren't dicks. I leave Room five, sending a quick wave to Gerard as I do and he winks at me. I make my way to maths room four and wait outside for Izzy.
The bell goes less than a minute later and Izzy is the first out the door and she looks fucking miserable. Once she sees me however, her eyes light up and she runs over to me, smiling like a fucking lunatic. "FRANKIE! OH MY FUCK! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!?" she screeches as she takes me into a hug. Her grip is so fucking tight that it reminds me of a boa-constrictor squeezing the life out of its prey... except in a loving way.
"Didn't Mikey tell you? I've been on a psych ward," I sadly whisper into her ear.
"What? Why?" she panics, pulling away from me to look me in the eyes.
"Because they were worried that I'd hurt myself," I see a look of pain spread over Izzy's face. "But they were mistaken and I'm fine which is why they let me out so quickly!" I quickly explain. Izzy sighs in relief.
"Okay Frankenstein," she says hugging me tightly again. "I missed you!"
"Missed you too, Izzle-pop," I mutter. "Oh, right, why I'm here," I remember, pulling away from her warm hug to look at her. "So, I won't go into the fluffy details but, me and Gerard are an official couple now!" I beam and as I see that she is confused and about to ask something along the lines of 'what the fuck? How did you guys go from bully-victim to boyfriends?' I continue. "I'll explain everything when we have time but now me, you, Gee, Mikey, Ray and Bob are hanging out for the day as a welcome home type of thing," I tell Izzy.
"Okay, so we're ditching?" I only nod and start leading her to the front of the school to meet everyone. "And I expect full details on what happened with Gerard as soon as we get a moment, okay?" she says to which I chuckle.
"Of course, Izzy. I'll tell you everything," I say, bringing a smile to her face. We make it out front and everyone is there waiting. I walk straight up to Gerard, who is facing the other way, and wrap my arms around his waist. He jumps a little and swing his head around. Once he sees me he leans into me, lacing his fingers with mine around his waist, and kisses my cheek. He is so fucking adorable. "Is everyone ready to go?" I ask looking at everyone and hearing a chorus of 'yeah' and nods. We set off for the Way's as their parents shouldn't be home until Wednesday night - seeing as today was only Monday it gave them today to hang out, tomorrow to recover and then Wednesday to tidy up - so we all agreed that would be for the best. We set off on what Gee said would be a ten minute walk. Me and Gee were walking holding hands, Gee leading the way. Mikey and Ray were behind us talking too quietly for me to eaves drop and Bob and Izzy were just sort of being awkwardly silent.
The day was spent in Gerard's room, which just awesomely enough is in the fucking basement. I had spent all of my time cuddling up to Gee on one sofa, Bob and Izzy sat comfortably on another and Ray and Mikey were laying on their backs on the floor next to eachother. We had consumed two bottles of vodka that Gee had and about five beers from their parents fridge. We were all pretty fucked and had turned the music from about fifteen to sixty so it was blaring fucking loud.
It is now about 11PM so we've been going at this for fourteen straight hours.
Right now I am sat on Gee's lap, straddling him, and was busying my mouth with his. The kiss isn't as heated as I'd like but we have our friends with us at my celebration so we were being tame, keeping my hands in Gee's hair and his around my waist. Gee suddenly lifts me off of him and puts me on the sofa gently before kissing my face and running off upstairs. What the fuck? Urgh. Mikey, Ray and Izzy are all joking around and Bob is sat being lonely and shit. I go and sit by him on the other sofa and ask his what's up.
"It's nothing," Bob slurs, downing the rest of his beer. I give him a skeptical look and, being as drunk as he - and everyone else in this room - is, that is enough to get the truth out of him. "I love someone who could never possibly love me," he cries. I rub soothing circles on his back.
"It's okay, man. You should give it a chance. I know from experiences that sometimes people you least expect to love you sometimes do and love is so magical that it is worth a risk!" I say, getting somewhat excited because I was referring to Gee's love for me and he just brings out the passion in me. As soon as Bob looks up at me and whispers a small 'okay, I'll take a chance, thanks man,' Gerard places himself on my lap and starts peppering my faces in cute kisses. "Where did you go?" I ask Gerard curiously.
"I went to go and get something..." Gerard whispers to me. I look at him confused because I don't know what he's talking about. He then pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to me. "I want you to read it, but somewhere private because it is embarrassing," Gerard whispers with a blush.
"Okay, Babe. I'll just go and read it in the bathroom," I smile, kissing Gerard's temple. Gee shuffles off of my lap and I make my way to the bathroom. I lock the door, shut the toilet lid and sit atop of it. I open the paper and start reading it:
'Fairy,
You've been away for two days and I already miss you so much. I miss the way your eyes light up whenever I compliment you. I miss the way you laugh so freely when you find something funny - not ashamed to show emotion. I miss the way your lips curve into that irresistible smile. I miss the way your voice sounds in my ears. I miss the way you express yourself so freely even though you know that arseholes will judge you. I miss the way your lips move perfectly with mine. I miss the way your raven hair fits in my hands as we kiss. I miss the way your hands feel on me. I miss the way your body feels draped over mine. I miss the way your arms wrap around me, be it my neck or waist. I miss the way you smell so beautiful all of the time. I miss the way you taste as we kiss.
I miss absolutely everything about you.
I can't wait for you to get back so that I can have all of those things daily.
I can't wait for you to get back so that I can have you.
You are so perfect and I love you so much, Frankie.
Lots of love,
Gee.
xxxxxxxxxx'
Tears of joy are running down my face by the time I finish reading the letter. I slip the letter into my pocket and wipe my face clean. I unlock the door and open it, excited to see Gerard and thank him with a passionate kiss because after reading that I cannot wait until everyone is asleep to demonstrate my love for him.
But once I open the door I see something I never thought I'd see. Bob has his hands around Gerard's neck with their lips pressed together.
And right then I feel like someone has taken my heart out of my chest and ripped it into thousands of pieces.
"Hey, Bob," Gee smiles. "What's up, man?" Gerard asks. I open my eyes when I realise that we wouldn't be kissing again in the immediate future. I start making random patterns on Gerard's neck with my fingers as he rubs circles into my hips.
"I just... wanted to hang out before I have maths," Bob explains. I only look over at him now and I realise that it is the same Bob who would help Gee abuse me, until he admitted his feelings for me that is.
"Well I have to go home because I'm not meant to be in school for a couple of days," I tell Gee and Bob. Trying to subtly tell them that I wanted alone time with Gee before I left, not that that was picked up on by either of them.
"So you don't have any plans for the day?" Gerard smirks. Oh, is he thinking of... spending some alone time... yunno... just me and Gerard... HAVING SEX! I shake my head no and Gee's smirk grows, he is definitely planning something cheeky, mischievous... "WE SHOULD HAVE A WELCOME-BACK PARTY!" he cheers, releasing me from his arms and jumping up and down clapping. Well that wasn't even nearly as exciting to me as the thoughts of ma and Gee...
"No," I state simply, pouting.
"Ohhh!" Gerard sulks, wrapping his arms around my waist. "But why not, Baby?" Gerard asks as he scatters kisses across my shoulder, trying to make me agree to a party.
"Because, Gerard," I say before hushing my volume dramatically. "I can't handle all of the people..." I finish, feeling ashamed with myself. He pulls away from where his face was buried in my neck. He holds my chin with one hand, keeping the other around me, massaging my hip sweetly. Gerard looks straight into my eyes with the most reassuring gaze that I'd ever seen.
"It's okay, Frankie, it can be just you, me, Bob, Mikes and your friends," Gerard suggests, voice soft and caring yet reassuring and confident. Hearing him speak with all of those different tones in one simple sentence wraps me with a sense of protection. I nod at him and when that makes him smile I smile too. Gerard leans in and kisses me sweetly and quickly before he pulls back.
"Hey, Bob," Gee catches Bob's attention. Bob huffs a 'what' to Gerard. What crawled up his arse and died to suddenly put him in such a shit mood? "Want to make it an all-day thing? I'm sure that Frank's friends, including Mikes, will all miss him enough to bunk and I sure as fuck am not going to be missing any Frankie-time. It would just be awkward if you joined later," Gee chuckles. Bob lets up on his shitty attitude enough to smile and nod.
"Well, I'll go and get Izzy. You guys should get Mikey and then I'm sure he'll know where Ray is. I'll meet you out front in ten minutes!" I half inform and half instruct Gerard. Gerard leans in, sweetly kissing me goodbye. I release my hold on Gee and grab my bag off of the floor.
"Okay, Baby. See you out front," Gee confirms, giving me a quick hug and kiss on the nose. He is so fucking cute. I hear Bob huff as he does so however which just pisses me off... I really wish that Gee had friends who weren't dicks. I leave Room five, sending a quick wave to Gerard as I do and he winks at me. I make my way to maths room four and wait outside for Izzy.
The bell goes less than a minute later and Izzy is the first out the door and she looks fucking miserable. Once she sees me however, her eyes light up and she runs over to me, smiling like a fucking lunatic. "FRANKIE! OH MY FUCK! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?!?" she screeches as she takes me into a hug. Her grip is so fucking tight that it reminds me of a boa-constrictor squeezing the life out of its prey... except in a loving way.
"Didn't Mikey tell you? I've been on a psych ward," I sadly whisper into her ear.
"What? Why?" she panics, pulling away from me to look me in the eyes.
"Because they were worried that I'd hurt myself," I see a look of pain spread over Izzy's face. "But they were mistaken and I'm fine which is why they let me out so quickly!" I quickly explain. Izzy sighs in relief.
"Okay Frankenstein," she says hugging me tightly again. "I missed you!"
"Missed you too, Izzle-pop," I mutter. "Oh, right, why I'm here," I remember, pulling away from her warm hug to look at her. "So, I won't go into the fluffy details but, me and Gerard are an official couple now!" I beam and as I see that she is confused and about to ask something along the lines of 'what the fuck? How did you guys go from bully-victim to boyfriends?' I continue. "I'll explain everything when we have time but now me, you, Gee, Mikey, Ray and Bob are hanging out for the day as a welcome home type of thing," I tell Izzy.
"Okay, so we're ditching?" I only nod and start leading her to the front of the school to meet everyone. "And I expect full details on what happened with Gerard as soon as we get a moment, okay?" she says to which I chuckle.
"Of course, Izzy. I'll tell you everything," I say, bringing a smile to her face. We make it out front and everyone is there waiting. I walk straight up to Gerard, who is facing the other way, and wrap my arms around his waist. He jumps a little and swing his head around. Once he sees me he leans into me, lacing his fingers with mine around his waist, and kisses my cheek. He is so fucking adorable. "Is everyone ready to go?" I ask looking at everyone and hearing a chorus of 'yeah' and nods. We set off for the Way's as their parents shouldn't be home until Wednesday night - seeing as today was only Monday it gave them today to hang out, tomorrow to recover and then Wednesday to tidy up - so we all agreed that would be for the best. We set off on what Gee said would be a ten minute walk. Me and Gee were walking holding hands, Gee leading the way. Mikey and Ray were behind us talking too quietly for me to eaves drop and Bob and Izzy were just sort of being awkwardly silent.
The day was spent in Gerard's room, which just awesomely enough is in the fucking basement. I had spent all of my time cuddling up to Gee on one sofa, Bob and Izzy sat comfortably on another and Ray and Mikey were laying on their backs on the floor next to eachother. We had consumed two bottles of vodka that Gee had and about five beers from their parents fridge. We were all pretty fucked and had turned the music from about fifteen to sixty so it was blaring fucking loud.
It is now about 11PM so we've been going at this for fourteen straight hours.
Right now I am sat on Gee's lap, straddling him, and was busying my mouth with his. The kiss isn't as heated as I'd like but we have our friends with us at my celebration so we were being tame, keeping my hands in Gee's hair and his around my waist. Gee suddenly lifts me off of him and puts me on the sofa gently before kissing my face and running off upstairs. What the fuck? Urgh. Mikey, Ray and Izzy are all joking around and Bob is sat being lonely and shit. I go and sit by him on the other sofa and ask his what's up.
"It's nothing," Bob slurs, downing the rest of his beer. I give him a skeptical look and, being as drunk as he - and everyone else in this room - is, that is enough to get the truth out of him. "I love someone who could never possibly love me," he cries. I rub soothing circles on his back.
"It's okay, man. You should give it a chance. I know from experiences that sometimes people you least expect to love you sometimes do and love is so magical that it is worth a risk!" I say, getting somewhat excited because I was referring to Gee's love for me and he just brings out the passion in me. As soon as Bob looks up at me and whispers a small 'okay, I'll take a chance, thanks man,' Gerard places himself on my lap and starts peppering my faces in cute kisses. "Where did you go?" I ask Gerard curiously.
"I went to go and get something..." Gerard whispers to me. I look at him confused because I don't know what he's talking about. He then pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to me. "I want you to read it, but somewhere private because it is embarrassing," Gerard whispers with a blush.
"Okay, Babe. I'll just go and read it in the bathroom," I smile, kissing Gerard's temple. Gee shuffles off of my lap and I make my way to the bathroom. I lock the door, shut the toilet lid and sit atop of it. I open the paper and start reading it:
'Fairy,
You've been away for two days and I already miss you so much. I miss the way your eyes light up whenever I compliment you. I miss the way you laugh so freely when you find something funny - not ashamed to show emotion. I miss the way your lips curve into that irresistible smile. I miss the way your voice sounds in my ears. I miss the way you express yourself so freely even though you know that arseholes will judge you. I miss the way your lips move perfectly with mine. I miss the way your raven hair fits in my hands as we kiss. I miss the way your hands feel on me. I miss the way your body feels draped over mine. I miss the way your arms wrap around me, be it my neck or waist. I miss the way you smell so beautiful all of the time. I miss the way you taste as we kiss.
I miss absolutely everything about you.
I can't wait for you to get back so that I can have all of those things daily.
I can't wait for you to get back so that I can have you.
You are so perfect and I love you so much, Frankie.
Lots of love,
Gee.
xxxxxxxxxx'
Tears of joy are running down my face by the time I finish reading the letter. I slip the letter into my pocket and wipe my face clean. I unlock the door and open it, excited to see Gerard and thank him with a passionate kiss because after reading that I cannot wait until everyone is asleep to demonstrate my love for him.
But once I open the door I see something I never thought I'd see. Bob has his hands around Gerard's neck with their lips pressed together.
And right then I feel like someone has taken my heart out of my chest and ripped it into thousands of pieces.
Notes
So, I've found further proof of Frerard...
...I dare you guys to deny it especially after seeing that!!!
OMFG I WENT LIKE THIRTY HOURS WITHOUT UPDATING!
I HAD LIKE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS AND SHIT AND IT WAS SERIOUSLY FUCKING PAINFUL! )':
But I'm back so motherfucking yey! :3
But yeah, sorry about such a slow update, I was at my dad's and he has no computer but it was annoying because I could use his internet on my phone but for some reason my phone only lets me type one letter at a time - even when writing a comment - on this site so I type 'H' *space* *back space* 'e' *space* *backspace* 'y'... and so on so I decided that it was just wasting my time.
So I'm sorry about that.
And I'm sorry if you feel like I have yet again been evil! :S
Thanks for not sending late update related death threats! :P
And also thank you for reading! :)
Charley <3
@Thatonefriend
Well it might not have tied up all the ends, but I read the last chapter & it seems like an ending, although the author said "no more than four more chapters" so yeah p much the end.
12/22/18