Save Me From My Self Destruction

***Gerard's POV***

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck please god no, this cannot be happening!

I look on the floor in front of me, and thats when I see her just laying there, barley alive.

I run to her side and drop to me knees. On the floor next to her I see an empty bottle of pills. Fuck! Her eyes are barley open, but she's still somewhat conscious.

"Baby?! Baby can you hear me?!" I yell while shaking her body

"I-I-I'm so tired. I c-can't stay awake." she whispered softly

"No Chris! Your have to stay awake! Keep looking at me. Do not close your eyes! I said while dialing 911

Her entire face was pure white, even her lips have lost all color. Her body was violently shaking, and she was sweating all over. She had just done a major overdose. Why would she want to kill herself?! She has so much to live for! I instantly start to tear up knowing that she was hurting this badly inside. She slowly started to close her eyes, and thats when I started to panic.

"Sugar, squeeze my hand if you can hear me!" I said while stroking her damp hair.

Nothing

The tears started pouring out uncontrollably now, as I held her lifeless body close to mine. I sobbed loudly into her neck until I heard sirens from the ambulance.

Paramedics rushed into the bathroom, finding me cradling her body while hysterically crying.

They tore her body away from my grasp, and carried her into the ambulance One of the paramedics told me I could ride with her when they saw what a mess I was.
Without second guessing, I ran into the ambulance and sat by her side. I took her hand into mind and began to kiss her cold knuckles.

A paramedic stuck an IV in her hand which made me wince at the site. I hated needles.

"Please be okay baby, please." I said with my lips pressed against her hand. My tears were now flowing down her arm.

"Is she going to be okay?! Is she going to make it?!" I asked frantically

"We aren't sure yet. At this point it's about 50/50 so we'll just have to hope for the best."
At this point I completely lost it. What if she didn't make it? Then what?!

"Are you her boyfriend?" one of the paramedics asked breaking me from my thoughts

"Y-Yes" I said dryly

"Can you please tell us what happened." she asked

I told her about how I've been trying to call her all day, and went to visit her house twice. The second time, I saw her somewhat conscious laying on the bathroom floor.
She asked me if I had known if Chrissi was suicidal. Honestly, I had no idea, but i do know that I never EVER want her to feel this way again, and I'm going to make sure of that.
When we arrived at the hospital, doctors rushed Chris out of the ambulance and down the hall.
I wasn't able to follow, so I was forced to wait in the waiting room for her results to come.

I called Mikey and told him everything that happened. About an hour later, he came into the waiting room with flowers in his hands.

"These are from the both of us." Mikey said handing me the flowers.

"Thanks Mikes." I said barley over a whisper

"Is she okay?" Mikey asked

"Not sure yet... They have to pump her stomach to get all the pills out before they can run any tests."

"Oh..."

The room was now silent for about 20 minutes before a doctor came in.

"Are you the boyfriend of Chrissi Jones?" he asked me

"Yes." I said looking up at him hopefully

"Alright well I have some good news and some bad news." he said while looking down at his papers

I felt a lump in my throat when he said 'bad news'.

"The good news is that Chrissi is going to be okay. The pills that she took did not affect her that badly. The bad news is she's going to be in a coma for about a week."

Fuck

"A week?!" I asked shocked

"Yes. Consider that good news! Some people who overdose are either in a coma for a month or longer, or never wake up."

A whole fucking week without her?! How am I supposed to do that?!

I know I'v only known her for three months, but it feels like I've known her for a lifetime.She's already like my other half and honestly, I can't see my life without her.

This was going to be a long week.

After another half hour in the waiting room, Mikey left to go get me something for dinner. I refuse to leave the hospital until she gets out of here. As soon as I can see her, I'm not leaving her side.

The same doctor came in and told me I could visit my girlfriend now. He gave me the room number, 224 and I slowly made my way to the elevator.

When I got to her room, I opened the door and started crying. She was hooked up to so many machines, it was unbelievable.
I grabbed a chair that was near her bed, and sat in it. I took her small hand in mine once again, kissed her knuckles. With my other hand, I stroked her cold, soft cheek.

'She'll wake up soon... Don't worry..' I said to myself over and over again until I eventually fell asleep.

Notes