Save Me From My Self Destruction
The Only Hope For Me Is You
***Chrissi's POV***
"No! Baby, please! Wait!" I heard Gerard yell after me. I had to keep walking before the tears came out.
"Chrissi! Wait! Please just hear me out!" he sobbed again. Nope. Not gonna happen. Keep walking.
"Please.." he said barley over a whisper. He sounded so desperate, as if I took one more step, he'd break into a million pieces.
"What could you possibly want now? Huh? I've heard your apologies, I don't want them, and I don't care. You can't take back what you did. There's no fixing that." I spat
"Please just give me a chance and listen!" He grabbed my arm
"For the last fucking time I said DON'T. TOUCH. ME!" I screamed in his face. He once again fell to his knees, and cried harder than ever.
"Baby, I'm so sorry. If I could go back I would." he cried
"Well I'm sorry to say this, but you can't go back. I don't want to hear your apologies anymore. It's over. We're over." As soon as I said that, I regretted it. But like I said, there's no going back.
"No. No. No. No. FUCKING NO! I don't believe you Chris! We can't be over, please! I know you still love me. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me." he was shaking. He was right. I couldn't do it. I still love him with all my god damn heart. But what he did was unacceptable. I just shook my head, and looked away.
"See. You can't do it. So please, Chrissi. Please. Just listen to me. If you still don't want me in your life after, then so be it. If it'll make you happy then fine. But first, listen. Cause sugar, I need you. I'll be a wreck, and probably die without you."
A single tear fell down my cheek, and I could tell he wanted to wipe it away, but he knew he'd be yelled at for laying a finger on me.
"So? Are you going to explain yourself, or not?" I said coldly. He took a deep breath, and began.
***Gerard's POV***
"When you were in the shower, I got a call from Mikey, telling me that grandma Helena had passed this morning." I felt the tears stream down my face. "She taught me everything. She was my biggest inspiration. Now she's gone. At the moment, I was filled with so much anger, and sadness, I didn't know what to do with myself. So I did the worst thing possible, and took it out on you, and baby, I am so sorry. I love you with all my heart, and I would never EVER intentionally hurt you in any way. I was just so filled with anger, I guess it just burst out in a horrible way. Chrissi, I've never been more sorry for anything in my whole life. Please, please forgive me."
Her face dropped, and tears ran down her face.
"I-I... Oh my god Gerard I am so fucking sorry." she burst into tears. "I had no idea! Gee, I am so sorry for being such a fucking bitch!" she cried. I stepped a bit closer to her, asking for permission to to touch her, which she granted by pulling my into a hug, as she sobbed into my chest.
"Shh sugar, please don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the sorry one. You had no idea, and I had no right to slap you."
"I'm so sorry. I-I shouldn't have been so quick to snap on you."
"Shh it's okay." I held her in my arms. I took a deep breath knowing that things are going to be okay now. "I'm sorry, baby."
"No, no. It's okay. I understand now."
"No it's not okay. I still had no right to hurt you." I wiped some of her tears. She mouthed 'I'm so sorry' as kissed her forhead "So I'll ask you again. Will you please forgive me?" I pleaded as I got on my knees.
"Of course, Gee. And can you forgive me for being such a horrible, senseless, bitch?"
"You're not a bitch, sugar. Not at all. And you did nothing wrong. Like I said, I'm the one that needs forgiveness, not you."
"I love you, Gee. And I'm sorry. Even if you don't think I should be, I truly am."
"There's only one thing left for me to ask." I put my hand in my coat pocket, and took out her wedding ring. "Will you please take back this ring, and continue being my beautiful wife?"
"Of course, baby." she smiled. I slipped the ring on her finger, and hugged her tighter than ever.
Things are going to be okay.
"No! Baby, please! Wait!" I heard Gerard yell after me. I had to keep walking before the tears came out.
"Chrissi! Wait! Please just hear me out!" he sobbed again. Nope. Not gonna happen. Keep walking.
"Please.." he said barley over a whisper. He sounded so desperate, as if I took one more step, he'd break into a million pieces.
"What could you possibly want now? Huh? I've heard your apologies, I don't want them, and I don't care. You can't take back what you did. There's no fixing that." I spat
"Please just give me a chance and listen!" He grabbed my arm
"For the last fucking time I said DON'T. TOUCH. ME!" I screamed in his face. He once again fell to his knees, and cried harder than ever.
"Baby, I'm so sorry. If I could go back I would." he cried
"Well I'm sorry to say this, but you can't go back. I don't want to hear your apologies anymore. It's over. We're over." As soon as I said that, I regretted it. But like I said, there's no going back.
"No. No. No. No. FUCKING NO! I don't believe you Chris! We can't be over, please! I know you still love me. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me." he was shaking. He was right. I couldn't do it. I still love him with all my god damn heart. But what he did was unacceptable. I just shook my head, and looked away.
"See. You can't do it. So please, Chrissi. Please. Just listen to me. If you still don't want me in your life after, then so be it. If it'll make you happy then fine. But first, listen. Cause sugar, I need you. I'll be a wreck, and probably die without you."
A single tear fell down my cheek, and I could tell he wanted to wipe it away, but he knew he'd be yelled at for laying a finger on me.
"So? Are you going to explain yourself, or not?" I said coldly. He took a deep breath, and began.
***Gerard's POV***
"When you were in the shower, I got a call from Mikey, telling me that grandma Helena had passed this morning." I felt the tears stream down my face. "She taught me everything. She was my biggest inspiration. Now she's gone. At the moment, I was filled with so much anger, and sadness, I didn't know what to do with myself. So I did the worst thing possible, and took it out on you, and baby, I am so sorry. I love you with all my heart, and I would never EVER intentionally hurt you in any way. I was just so filled with anger, I guess it just burst out in a horrible way. Chrissi, I've never been more sorry for anything in my whole life. Please, please forgive me."
Her face dropped, and tears ran down her face.
"I-I... Oh my god Gerard I am so fucking sorry." she burst into tears. "I had no idea! Gee, I am so sorry for being such a fucking bitch!" she cried. I stepped a bit closer to her, asking for permission to to touch her, which she granted by pulling my into a hug, as she sobbed into my chest.
"Shh sugar, please don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the sorry one. You had no idea, and I had no right to slap you."
"I'm so sorry. I-I shouldn't have been so quick to snap on you."
"Shh it's okay." I held her in my arms. I took a deep breath knowing that things are going to be okay now. "I'm sorry, baby."
"No, no. It's okay. I understand now."
"No it's not okay. I still had no right to hurt you." I wiped some of her tears. She mouthed 'I'm so sorry' as kissed her forhead "So I'll ask you again. Will you please forgive me?" I pleaded as I got on my knees.
"Of course, Gee. And can you forgive me for being such a horrible, senseless, bitch?"
"You're not a bitch, sugar. Not at all. And you did nothing wrong. Like I said, I'm the one that needs forgiveness, not you."
"I love you, Gee. And I'm sorry. Even if you don't think I should be, I truly am."
"There's only one thing left for me to ask." I put my hand in my coat pocket, and took out her wedding ring. "Will you please take back this ring, and continue being my beautiful wife?"
"Of course, baby." she smiled. I slipped the ring on her finger, and hugged her tighter than ever.
Things are going to be okay.
OMG that was so sad when Gerard was begging for forgiveness :'(
1/11/14