Save Me From My Self Destruction
Mistakes Were Made
***Chrissi's POV***
I woke up wrapped in my husbands arms. He was still sleeping, and I didn't want to wake him up. I stroked some of his hair off his face, and lightly kissed his cheek. I tried to slip myself out of his grasp, without waking him up. I got up and went to go take a shower. I heard Gee start to wake up and he came to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
"Hey sugar, you in there?"
"Yes, I'm going to take a shower."
"Oh all right." I heard his phone ring so he went to go get it. I got out of my clothes and went to take a shower.
***Time Lapse***
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I opened the door and saw Gerard sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.
"What's wrong babe?" I asked while walking towards him. He didn't respond so I suspected he didn't hear.
"Hey, Gerard," I poked his side, "What's wrong?" He lifted his head and looked at me with tear stained eyes. He just shook his head.
"Comon Gerard, tell me what's wrong." I said trying to sit on his lap, but he pushed me away.
"What the hell Gerard?" And then he did the unthinkable.
"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled as he raised his hand and smacked it across my face. I grabbed my cheek and gave him a look of horror and shock. I slowly backed away from him and he a look of realization came over his face. I felt myself hit the wall and realized that I had no where to go. Gerard took a slow step forward.
"Don't you take another step you monster!" I screamed at him. He tried to argue, but didn't move from where he was. I felt the tears crawling down my face.
"Sugar, sugar I'm sorry. I really am. I love you! Please forgive me! I didn't mean it. I was frustrated and I couldn't control my emotions. I really do love you!" He was crying now. He was on his knees begging for forgiveness. I knew deep down that he meant it, but for now I couldn't accept it. I also knew that I should have forgiven him, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop crying. I looked at my hands, which were shaking, and saw the ring. My wedding ring was shining. I grabbed it and peeled it off my finger. I looked at Gerard and the horror crawling across his face. He was pale white and looked like he just saw a ghost. I shook of any forgivness I was feeling and threw the ring at him. My eyes were blurry from the tears I was shedding. I stood up and ran into the bathroom. I didn't know where else to go considering I was mostly naked. I could feel Gerard's pain stab me in the heart. What have I just done? No. He slapped me and I couldn't be happy with him. I couldn't, could I? I sighed. Thankfully I had an excess pair of clothes hanging on the clothes rack. I threw on the black skinny jeans and the navy-blue tee shirt. I also looked under the counter for my razor. I bit my lip, not hard enough to bleed, but hard enough to hurt. I needed to cut. I needed it.
***Gerard's POV***
She threw the ring at me and ran. I could feel all feeling drain out of me. Why did I hurt her? It was my stupid over-reacting self. I couldn't imagine the horror she felt. I couldn't help myself and I started to cry. Why did Mikey have to call and tell me the news? Why did gandma Helena have to die today? I just wanted a happy honey moon with no worries, but now everything had gone wrong. I mean I knew it was my fault, but why did it have to happen? Why couldn't I control my emotions. The tears finally stopped, but I could feel more form. I probably just lost the only happiness I had in my life in a very long time. With my hand shaking, I picked up the ring up and stared at it. Everything I had worked for, gone. I stood up and walked over to the bathroom. I banged on the door once, twice, three times. Shit. There was only one other way in that bathroom. The window. If I got caught then I would be arrested, but I needed to know if Chris was okay. With that, I went outside to find the window already opened. I bit my lip. Chris had thought of the idea before me. I massaged my temples and thought about places she would go. I had no idea. Where would Chrissi go if she was sad? I couldn't think of anything off the top of my mind. I decided to call Jess. She would probably know better then me. I ran back inside the hotel and grabbed my cell. I called Jess instantly.
"Gerard? What the fuck? It's like 7AM here." She sounded groggy. I sighed.
"Where would Chris go if she was sad?" I asked with ungency in my voice.
"Why?" She asked a little more awake now. I had to lie to her. If she knew what happened I know she would kill me. I would never see daylight again.
"Chris woke up with a headache this morning and I thought that alot of screaming kids wouldn't help that so I was thinking of a quieter place to go. I can't think of anything so I decided to ask her best friend." I lied. She sighed this time. Even though I wasn't there, I knew she was rolling her eyes at me.
"Probably a coffee shop of some sort. Or a bowling ally. I don't know Gerard it's to fucking early to think." She hung up her phone. I closed my eyes. I decided the best thing to do was go to the open window and walk straight. I would find the closest coffee shop and maybe she would be there. I just hoped she was safe.
I woke up wrapped in my husbands arms. He was still sleeping, and I didn't want to wake him up. I stroked some of his hair off his face, and lightly kissed his cheek. I tried to slip myself out of his grasp, without waking him up. I got up and went to go take a shower. I heard Gee start to wake up and he came to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
"Hey sugar, you in there?"
"Yes, I'm going to take a shower."
"Oh all right." I heard his phone ring so he went to go get it. I got out of my clothes and went to take a shower.
***Time Lapse***
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I opened the door and saw Gerard sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.
"What's wrong babe?" I asked while walking towards him. He didn't respond so I suspected he didn't hear.
"Hey, Gerard," I poked his side, "What's wrong?" He lifted his head and looked at me with tear stained eyes. He just shook his head.
"Comon Gerard, tell me what's wrong." I said trying to sit on his lap, but he pushed me away.
"What the hell Gerard?" And then he did the unthinkable.
"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled as he raised his hand and smacked it across my face. I grabbed my cheek and gave him a look of horror and shock. I slowly backed away from him and he a look of realization came over his face. I felt myself hit the wall and realized that I had no where to go. Gerard took a slow step forward.
"Don't you take another step you monster!" I screamed at him. He tried to argue, but didn't move from where he was. I felt the tears crawling down my face.
"Sugar, sugar I'm sorry. I really am. I love you! Please forgive me! I didn't mean it. I was frustrated and I couldn't control my emotions. I really do love you!" He was crying now. He was on his knees begging for forgiveness. I knew deep down that he meant it, but for now I couldn't accept it. I also knew that I should have forgiven him, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop crying. I looked at my hands, which were shaking, and saw the ring. My wedding ring was shining. I grabbed it and peeled it off my finger. I looked at Gerard and the horror crawling across his face. He was pale white and looked like he just saw a ghost. I shook of any forgivness I was feeling and threw the ring at him. My eyes were blurry from the tears I was shedding. I stood up and ran into the bathroom. I didn't know where else to go considering I was mostly naked. I could feel Gerard's pain stab me in the heart. What have I just done? No. He slapped me and I couldn't be happy with him. I couldn't, could I? I sighed. Thankfully I had an excess pair of clothes hanging on the clothes rack. I threw on the black skinny jeans and the navy-blue tee shirt. I also looked under the counter for my razor. I bit my lip, not hard enough to bleed, but hard enough to hurt. I needed to cut. I needed it.
***Gerard's POV***
She threw the ring at me and ran. I could feel all feeling drain out of me. Why did I hurt her? It was my stupid over-reacting self. I couldn't imagine the horror she felt. I couldn't help myself and I started to cry. Why did Mikey have to call and tell me the news? Why did gandma Helena have to die today? I just wanted a happy honey moon with no worries, but now everything had gone wrong. I mean I knew it was my fault, but why did it have to happen? Why couldn't I control my emotions. The tears finally stopped, but I could feel more form. I probably just lost the only happiness I had in my life in a very long time. With my hand shaking, I picked up the ring up and stared at it. Everything I had worked for, gone. I stood up and walked over to the bathroom. I banged on the door once, twice, three times. Shit. There was only one other way in that bathroom. The window. If I got caught then I would be arrested, but I needed to know if Chris was okay. With that, I went outside to find the window already opened. I bit my lip. Chris had thought of the idea before me. I massaged my temples and thought about places she would go. I had no idea. Where would Chrissi go if she was sad? I couldn't think of anything off the top of my mind. I decided to call Jess. She would probably know better then me. I ran back inside the hotel and grabbed my cell. I called Jess instantly.
"Gerard? What the fuck? It's like 7AM here." She sounded groggy. I sighed.
"Where would Chris go if she was sad?" I asked with ungency in my voice.
"Why?" She asked a little more awake now. I had to lie to her. If she knew what happened I know she would kill me. I would never see daylight again.
"Chris woke up with a headache this morning and I thought that alot of screaming kids wouldn't help that so I was thinking of a quieter place to go. I can't think of anything so I decided to ask her best friend." I lied. She sighed this time. Even though I wasn't there, I knew she was rolling her eyes at me.
"Probably a coffee shop of some sort. Or a bowling ally. I don't know Gerard it's to fucking early to think." She hung up her phone. I closed my eyes. I decided the best thing to do was go to the open window and walk straight. I would find the closest coffee shop and maybe she would be there. I just hoped she was safe.
OMG that was so sad when Gerard was begging for forgiveness :'(
1/11/14