Save Me From My Self Destruction
I Can Hear The Bells
***Chrissi's POV***
I wake up to the sound of Josie screaming in my face.
"Wake the fuck up, Mrs. Way! Well.. almost Mrs. Way.. But anyway, get your ass up! Come on, we gotta get you ready, and looking good for your man!"
I giggled, and got up. I noticed no one else was sleeping, and Josie and I were the only ones in the room.
"Where is everyone?"
She didn't answer. She just took me by the hand, and led me to the kitchen.
"HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!" Everyone screamed, as I walked into the kitchen. The whole room was decorated in pink streamers, and all the girls had party hats on. They all gathered around me, and engulfed me in a big, group hug.
"Aww thanks you guys!" I said once I was released from the hug
"Come on! Let's get you ready." Jess yelled, tugging on my shirt. We all crunched into Katie's bathroom, while she did my makeup, and my other friend, Emily, did my hair. The wedding starts at 1:00pm, so I have 4 hours. Emily gave my hair a soft curl, but leaving my side fringe straight. Katie did a smokey eye look, and gave me bright red lips.
"Woah.." Josie said
"Gerard is going to go crazy!" Jess giggled
"And he's going to die when he see's you in the dress!" said Katie
I laughed and imagined the look on his face. I can't believe this day is finally here. Today is the day I'm going to be marrying the one I love more than anything, and I couldn't be happier. Not only was I filled with pure happiness, I was filled with nerves I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. What if his family doesn't approve of me? What if I fuck things up, and stutter my words, or stumble while walking? With all these things running through my mind, I started to have a panic attack. My stomach started to hurt really badly, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"Oh my god, Chrissi? A-Are you okay?" Emily asked
I could feel my face get redder and redder. I then got up, ran to the toilet, and threw up.
Everyone gasped
"Oh jesus. Are you okay?" Jess asked once I was done. I nodded, and got up off the floor. I quickly rinsed my mouth out, and sat back down.
"Panic attack." I said
They all 'Ohh-ed' and nodded their heads.
"Why were you panicking?" Josie asked
I explained everything that was on my mind
"Oh don't worry about it, Chris! You'll be fine! Nothing's going to happen. I mean, Gerard's family adores you! And if you stutter or stumble, that's no big deal. It's not like Gerard's going to think any less of you." said Emily
I nodded my head, and they all continued to help me get ready.
*****
I now had 1 hour till the wedding started, and I could feel the excitement in me.
"You ready to put on your dress?" Jess asked
"Yeah." I said, barley over a whisper. My bridesmaids were already ready, so it was now my turn. They were all wearing strapless, long black dresses, with black converse. Yes, converse. And since Jess is my maid of honor, she got to wear a short, strapless, black dress, with black converse. My dress was a strapless, dress, that was tight at the top, and poofy at the bottom. I had a black ribbon around my waist, tide in a bow in the back. And of course, I had my black converse. Once I was done, we headed to the venue, which was the small garden in the park where he proposed. Once we got there, we saw that the groomsmen and Gerard were already there. I now only had half an hour. I could feel my heart racing, knowing that I would be married in a half hour. I felt a light tap on my shoulder, clearing me from my thoughts. It was Mikey, who engulfed me in a huge hug when I turned around.
"Oh my god. You look beautiful!" he said, releasing me from the hug.
"Thanks! You look great too!"
"You know, I'm sure Alice and Kyliee are smiling down on you right now." he smiled. When he said that, my smile faded, and the tears came pouring out. He immediately wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his chest.
"Ah I'm so sorry Chris. I-I shouldn't have said anything. Please don't cry. I'm so sorry." he said into my hair as he rubbed my back.
"N-No it's fine." I said wiping my tears. "I just.. I just miss them so much!" I sobbed again.
"Shh shh. Please don't cry. Everything is going to be okay. I'm sorry, Chris." I dried my tears again, and looked up at him. "No more tears, okay?" he said. I nodded and smiled. Everything is going to be okay. I took a deep breath, and swallowed any more tears that threatened to come out. Today is not the day for that.
"Chris?"
"Yeah Mikes?"
"I love you. You're like the sister I never had. And I want to thank you for being such a wonderful best friend to me for these past 2 and a half years."
I smiled and hugged him as hard as I could.
"I love you too, Mikes. Thanks for being such an amazing brother to me. You're like my brother from another mother." I laughed, and he hugged me. The wedding was now starting in five minutes. Donald would be giving me away, since I didn't have my own father to do so.
"You look very beautiful, Chrissi." Donald said.
"Thank you so much." I gave him a warm smile
He took my hand in his, as Genni, who was the flower girl,and the bridesmaids began to walk. Then we followed behind them. Well, here it goes.
Everyone rose from their seats, and started taking pictures as we walked by. And then I saw Gee. He was crying. Tears ran down his face, and he gave me a loving, warm smile.
"You look so unbelievably beautiful." he mouthed as we got closer. When we got there, Donald gave me a kiss on the cheek, and took his seat next to Donna who was crying even more than her son. Gee grabbed my hands, and pulled me into a big hug.
"I love you so much, sugar." he whispered into my ear.
"I love you too, baby. So, so much."
We pulled apart, and couldn't take our eyes off each other. We just kept smiling, and mouthing 'I love you' to each other. Then it was time for the vows, which we wrote ourselves. Gee went first.
"My dearest Chrissi. Where do I start? The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew there was something special about you, and I had to get to know you. And I was right. You've turned my life around. You've made me the happiest man alive, and I can't thank you enough for bringing that happiness back into my life. Chrissi I am nothing without you. You complete me. Chrissi Anne Jones, I vow to you that I will love you until the day I die. I will love, and care for you, and I will remain loyal to you, for as long as I live. And lastly, I vow that I will do everything in my power to make you the happiest girl alive. I will do what ever I can to only bring happiness and joy into your life." By now we were both crying tears of pure love, and happiness. I wiped the tears off his cheek with my thumb, and he did the same for me. He gave me a light squeeze of reassurance on my hand when I began to read my vows.
"My dear Gee. Not a day goes by that I don't think of how lucky I am to have you in my life. Without you, I wouldn't even be here right now. And I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Since the day we first started dating, you've made me feel like my life is worth living. You made feel loved, which is something I haven't really felt until I met you. You made me feel like I mattered, and you've changed my life so much for the better. You've been there for me even in my darkest times. And you never gave up on me. I vow to you to be the best wife I can be, and give you all the happiness, and love that you so very much deserve. I will always be your friend to talk to, your lips to kiss, and your shoulder to cry on. And Gerard, I vow to you that I will love you until the end of time. I will love you and only you, for the rest of my life." Both of us haven't stopped crying. He gave me another reassuring squeeze, a loving smile, and mouthed 'I love you with all my heart', as tears of joy streamed down our faces.
"You may now kiss the bride."
I wake up to the sound of Josie screaming in my face.
"Wake the fuck up, Mrs. Way! Well.. almost Mrs. Way.. But anyway, get your ass up! Come on, we gotta get you ready, and looking good for your man!"
I giggled, and got up. I noticed no one else was sleeping, and Josie and I were the only ones in the room.
"Where is everyone?"
She didn't answer. She just took me by the hand, and led me to the kitchen.
"HAPPY WEDDING DAY!!" Everyone screamed, as I walked into the kitchen. The whole room was decorated in pink streamers, and all the girls had party hats on. They all gathered around me, and engulfed me in a big, group hug.
"Aww thanks you guys!" I said once I was released from the hug
"Come on! Let's get you ready." Jess yelled, tugging on my shirt. We all crunched into Katie's bathroom, while she did my makeup, and my other friend, Emily, did my hair. The wedding starts at 1:00pm, so I have 4 hours. Emily gave my hair a soft curl, but leaving my side fringe straight. Katie did a smokey eye look, and gave me bright red lips.
"Woah.." Josie said
"Gerard is going to go crazy!" Jess giggled
"And he's going to die when he see's you in the dress!" said Katie
I laughed and imagined the look on his face. I can't believe this day is finally here. Today is the day I'm going to be marrying the one I love more than anything, and I couldn't be happier. Not only was I filled with pure happiness, I was filled with nerves I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. What if his family doesn't approve of me? What if I fuck things up, and stutter my words, or stumble while walking? With all these things running through my mind, I started to have a panic attack. My stomach started to hurt really badly, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.
"Oh my god, Chrissi? A-Are you okay?" Emily asked
I could feel my face get redder and redder. I then got up, ran to the toilet, and threw up.
Everyone gasped
"Oh jesus. Are you okay?" Jess asked once I was done. I nodded, and got up off the floor. I quickly rinsed my mouth out, and sat back down.
"Panic attack." I said
They all 'Ohh-ed' and nodded their heads.
"Why were you panicking?" Josie asked
I explained everything that was on my mind
"Oh don't worry about it, Chris! You'll be fine! Nothing's going to happen. I mean, Gerard's family adores you! And if you stutter or stumble, that's no big deal. It's not like Gerard's going to think any less of you." said Emily
I nodded my head, and they all continued to help me get ready.
*****
I now had 1 hour till the wedding started, and I could feel the excitement in me.
"You ready to put on your dress?" Jess asked
"Yeah." I said, barley over a whisper. My bridesmaids were already ready, so it was now my turn. They were all wearing strapless, long black dresses, with black converse. Yes, converse. And since Jess is my maid of honor, she got to wear a short, strapless, black dress, with black converse. My dress was a strapless, dress, that was tight at the top, and poofy at the bottom. I had a black ribbon around my waist, tide in a bow in the back. And of course, I had my black converse. Once I was done, we headed to the venue, which was the small garden in the park where he proposed. Once we got there, we saw that the groomsmen and Gerard were already there. I now only had half an hour. I could feel my heart racing, knowing that I would be married in a half hour. I felt a light tap on my shoulder, clearing me from my thoughts. It was Mikey, who engulfed me in a huge hug when I turned around.
"Oh my god. You look beautiful!" he said, releasing me from the hug.
"Thanks! You look great too!"
"You know, I'm sure Alice and Kyliee are smiling down on you right now." he smiled. When he said that, my smile faded, and the tears came pouring out. He immediately wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his chest.
"Ah I'm so sorry Chris. I-I shouldn't have said anything. Please don't cry. I'm so sorry." he said into my hair as he rubbed my back.
"N-No it's fine." I said wiping my tears. "I just.. I just miss them so much!" I sobbed again.
"Shh shh. Please don't cry. Everything is going to be okay. I'm sorry, Chris." I dried my tears again, and looked up at him. "No more tears, okay?" he said. I nodded and smiled. Everything is going to be okay. I took a deep breath, and swallowed any more tears that threatened to come out. Today is not the day for that.
"Chris?"
"Yeah Mikes?"
"I love you. You're like the sister I never had. And I want to thank you for being such a wonderful best friend to me for these past 2 and a half years."
I smiled and hugged him as hard as I could.
"I love you too, Mikes. Thanks for being such an amazing brother to me. You're like my brother from another mother." I laughed, and he hugged me. The wedding was now starting in five minutes. Donald would be giving me away, since I didn't have my own father to do so.
"You look very beautiful, Chrissi." Donald said.
"Thank you so much." I gave him a warm smile
He took my hand in his, as Genni, who was the flower girl,and the bridesmaids began to walk. Then we followed behind them. Well, here it goes.
Everyone rose from their seats, and started taking pictures as we walked by. And then I saw Gee. He was crying. Tears ran down his face, and he gave me a loving, warm smile.
"You look so unbelievably beautiful." he mouthed as we got closer. When we got there, Donald gave me a kiss on the cheek, and took his seat next to Donna who was crying even more than her son. Gee grabbed my hands, and pulled me into a big hug.
"I love you so much, sugar." he whispered into my ear.
"I love you too, baby. So, so much."
We pulled apart, and couldn't take our eyes off each other. We just kept smiling, and mouthing 'I love you' to each other. Then it was time for the vows, which we wrote ourselves. Gee went first.
"My dearest Chrissi. Where do I start? The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew there was something special about you, and I had to get to know you. And I was right. You've turned my life around. You've made me the happiest man alive, and I can't thank you enough for bringing that happiness back into my life. Chrissi I am nothing without you. You complete me. Chrissi Anne Jones, I vow to you that I will love you until the day I die. I will love, and care for you, and I will remain loyal to you, for as long as I live. And lastly, I vow that I will do everything in my power to make you the happiest girl alive. I will do what ever I can to only bring happiness and joy into your life." By now we were both crying tears of pure love, and happiness. I wiped the tears off his cheek with my thumb, and he did the same for me. He gave me a light squeeze of reassurance on my hand when I began to read my vows.
"My dear Gee. Not a day goes by that I don't think of how lucky I am to have you in my life. Without you, I wouldn't even be here right now. And I will never be able to thank you enough for that. Since the day we first started dating, you've made me feel like my life is worth living. You made feel loved, which is something I haven't really felt until I met you. You made me feel like I mattered, and you've changed my life so much for the better. You've been there for me even in my darkest times. And you never gave up on me. I vow to you to be the best wife I can be, and give you all the happiness, and love that you so very much deserve. I will always be your friend to talk to, your lips to kiss, and your shoulder to cry on. And Gerard, I vow to you that I will love you until the end of time. I will love you and only you, for the rest of my life." Both of us haven't stopped crying. He gave me another reassuring squeeze, a loving smile, and mouthed 'I love you with all my heart', as tears of joy streamed down our faces.
"You may now kiss the bride."
OMG that was so sad when Gerard was begging for forgiveness :'(
1/11/14