Save Me From My Self Destruction
How Is This Possible?
***Gerard's POV***
Even though I was completely shit faced, I still understood every word that came out of her mouth. I just stared at her blankly, unable to believe what she was saying. I then got up, and walked upstairs. A couple minutes later, I heard the front door upstairs lock. That's when it hit me. I let out a blood curling scream and hugged my knees to my chest. I sobbed uncontrollably, and all the guys came around me to try and calm me down. It was no use. I got up and paced for a bit, still sobbing. I saw a bottle of vodka on the coffee table and quickly grabbed it, hoping to drink the pain away, until Ray snatched it from my grasp.
"Gerard! Don't you see that this is the reason she left you?!" he yelled holding the bottle in front of my face
I just kept crying and didn't answer
"Come on, Gerard. We're gonna get you better. Then you'll get her back." said Mikey
"She'll never come back!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs
"Yes she will!! You just need to get better, okay? That's all she wants from you! You think she wanted to break up with you?!"
I sat on the floor, and curled myself up in a ball. I wanted to die.
***************
I woke up the next morning in my bed. Didn't I fall asleep on the basement floor? I sighed and looked out the window. It was a beautiful sunny day outside, although on the inside, I felt as though it should be nothing but rain, and gray skies. I let the tears run down my cheeks, turning into agonizing sobs.
"Baby? Baby What's wrong?!" I heard from right next to me.
I whipped my head around and saw Chrissi looking at me with worry written all over her face
"W-W-Wha What?" was all I could manage to say
"Gee, are you okay?" she asked, running her fingers through my hair.
"L-L-Last n-night! Y-You left m-me!" I said
"What? Baby I would never leave you! Are you sure you weren't just having a bad dream?"
Could this be true? Had I really just had an awful dream? But it all seemed so realistic! Wait then was the band a dream too?
I wrapped her in my arms and sobbed into her shoulder.
"I love you sugar! More than anything on this earth. I am so sorry for anything I might have done to hurt you in any way. Please please PLEASE never leave me!" I sobbed
"Gee I would never leave you, okay? I love you with everything I have. Don't you worry."
"W-Wait. Baby, am I in a band?" I asked, hoping I don't sound crazy
"Mhm! You guys are amazing! Uhm.. Why do you ask?"
I explained the entire dream to her as she got dressed.
"Gee, I think I know why you had such a wacky dream."
I looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
"Well, I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while. You see, you've been drinking a hell of a lot lately. And I'm worried for you! Gee I want you to qui-"
"Yes!" I cut her off
"Yes, sugar, I'll quit. I'll do whatever you want, okay? From this day on, I'll never drink again, I promise you Chrissi."
She smiled at me and engulfed me in a big hug.
"Thank you, Gee. That means a lot. It really does." she said into my shoulder.
I picked her up, and lifted her over my shoulder, making her laugh her adorable laugh. I ran downstairs with her in my arms, put her on the couch, and I laid next to her, wrapping my arms around her stomach. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I couldn't be any happier than I am right now.
Even though I was completely shit faced, I still understood every word that came out of her mouth. I just stared at her blankly, unable to believe what she was saying. I then got up, and walked upstairs. A couple minutes later, I heard the front door upstairs lock. That's when it hit me. I let out a blood curling scream and hugged my knees to my chest. I sobbed uncontrollably, and all the guys came around me to try and calm me down. It was no use. I got up and paced for a bit, still sobbing. I saw a bottle of vodka on the coffee table and quickly grabbed it, hoping to drink the pain away, until Ray snatched it from my grasp.
"Gerard! Don't you see that this is the reason she left you?!" he yelled holding the bottle in front of my face
I just kept crying and didn't answer
"Come on, Gerard. We're gonna get you better. Then you'll get her back." said Mikey
"She'll never come back!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs
"Yes she will!! You just need to get better, okay? That's all she wants from you! You think she wanted to break up with you?!"
I sat on the floor, and curled myself up in a ball. I wanted to die.
***************
I woke up the next morning in my bed. Didn't I fall asleep on the basement floor? I sighed and looked out the window. It was a beautiful sunny day outside, although on the inside, I felt as though it should be nothing but rain, and gray skies. I let the tears run down my cheeks, turning into agonizing sobs.
"Baby? Baby What's wrong?!" I heard from right next to me.
I whipped my head around and saw Chrissi looking at me with worry written all over her face
"W-W-Wha What?" was all I could manage to say
"Gee, are you okay?" she asked, running her fingers through my hair.
"L-L-Last n-night! Y-You left m-me!" I said
"What? Baby I would never leave you! Are you sure you weren't just having a bad dream?"
Could this be true? Had I really just had an awful dream? But it all seemed so realistic! Wait then was the band a dream too?
I wrapped her in my arms and sobbed into her shoulder.
"I love you sugar! More than anything on this earth. I am so sorry for anything I might have done to hurt you in any way. Please please PLEASE never leave me!" I sobbed
"Gee I would never leave you, okay? I love you with everything I have. Don't you worry."
"W-Wait. Baby, am I in a band?" I asked, hoping I don't sound crazy
"Mhm! You guys are amazing! Uhm.. Why do you ask?"
I explained the entire dream to her as she got dressed.
"Gee, I think I know why you had such a wacky dream."
I looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
"Well, I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while. You see, you've been drinking a hell of a lot lately. And I'm worried for you! Gee I want you to qui-"
"Yes!" I cut her off
"Yes, sugar, I'll quit. I'll do whatever you want, okay? From this day on, I'll never drink again, I promise you Chrissi."
She smiled at me and engulfed me in a big hug.
"Thank you, Gee. That means a lot. It really does." she said into my shoulder.
I picked her up, and lifted her over my shoulder, making her laugh her adorable laugh. I ran downstairs with her in my arms, put her on the couch, and I laid next to her, wrapping my arms around her stomach. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I couldn't be any happier than I am right now.
OMG that was so sad when Gerard was begging for forgiveness :'(
1/11/14