Save Me From My Self Destruction
And It All Came Crashing Down
****2 Weeks Later****
***Gerard's POV***
Chris and I walked around the park, with her hand in mine. It was now the beginning of November so the leaves were falling everywhere. We sat on the bench and The wind blew and the air got colder. So I wrapped my arms around her to keep her warm.
"You wanna go home? It's pretty cold out." I said
"Sure."
"Are you okay, Chrissi?"
"Uh yeah. Why?"
"Well I mean, you've been a bit....moody lately."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she said sternly
"I mean it's the truth. You haven't been yourself lately."
"How have I not been myself, Gerard?"
"Like one moment your happy, and the next you're completely pissed off!"
For the last few weeks, Chrissi's been extremely moody. She and I never used to get into fights, and now all of sudden, they've been happening at least every other day. Honestly I have no idea what's up. Maybe it has to do with Alice? But she would have said something if that was the case, so I doubt it.
"I'm not bipolar!" she yelled
"I never said you were bipolar, I'm just saying you need to calm the fuck down, and tell me what's wrong, because you are not acting like yourself at all!"
"Gerard, what am I doing wrong?"
"Chrissi, you're not doing anything wrong, just tell me whats up. I mean I don't get it, for the last two weeks you've been getting mad at me, and then all of a sudden, you love me! What the hell is going on?"
"Gerard, I don't know, okay?! I don't even know what you're talking about!!"
"Oh come on, stop the bullshit. Are you really trying to tell me that you haven't noticed your mood swings?!" Now I was getting even more annoyed
"Yes!! That's exactly what I'm telling you!"
"Chrissi, I've been dating you for nearly a year now, and you've never acted THIS moody. Come on, tell me whats wrong. Is it Alice?"
"No! Okay? I don't know what it is! Just leave me alone about it!"
"Chrissi I wanna help you! If something's wrong I wanna help!"
"Oh so now you wanna help!? Two minutes ago you were telling me what a bitch I've been for the past two weeks, and now all of a sudden you wanna 'help'? And your calling me moody?! Just fuck off, Gerard, okay?" she yelled. Her face was red with anger, and I could feel myself boil
"You know what? Walk yourself home. I'm fucking done." I walked away.
***Chrissi's POV***
I waited until he was gone to let the tears come rolling down my cold cheeks. I sat on the bench crying for a good 10 minutes. Was I really that moody? I decided to call Kyliee. She always helps me through every situation.
"Hey Boo Boo, what's up?" she said. We'v been calling each other "boo boo" ever since 8th grade.
"I have a problem." I said trying not to cry anymore.
"Uh oh. What happened?"
"Gerard and I got into a really big fight."
"Alright where are you?"
"The park"
"Okay, I'll come pick you up, and you can tell me everything in the car."
I waited on the bench for her to come for 5 minutes. She looked at me through the window with a reassuring smile, and I got in.
"Okay, Chris. Tell Dr. Kyliee what happened," she joked
I told her everything that happened.
"I don't know... Have I been moody?" I asked
She stared blankly at the steering wheel for a few seconds before answering.
"Well, I mean... Maybe a little. I'm sorry."
"Seriously!? How badly?!" I asked shocked
"Well, not too bad. But he's right, girl, you haven't been yourself lately."
"Oh god.. Now I feel terrible."
"Don't feel bad, Chris, it's fine. I mean you're a girl, we all get moody, what does he expect?"
I laughed and she started driving
"Wait, Chris?"
"Mhm?"
"There might be a reason for your mood swings."
"Okay....?"
"Uhm, well.. Have you done it lately?"
"Uh yeah.... Why?"
"Have you had morning sickness?"
"Kyliee, you- you don't think I'm pregnant do you?"
"Well... There's always that possibility. But answer the question."
I started to feel my heart beat out of my chest.
"Y-Yeah. Almost every morning. "
"Does Gerard know?"
"No.. It usually happens pretty early, like at 7am, and he's still asleep."
"Okay, Chris. It's time to buy you a pregnancy test."
"N-No! I can't be p-pregnant!"
"Shhh calm down. I'm not saying you are or you aren't. I'm just suggesting that you take a pregnancy test. We'll go to the store, and you can take the test at my place, okay?"
"O-Okay..."
We went to the nearest drug store, and went to the aisle that had the tests. Just looking at them made me want to throw up. I'm only 17! There's no fucking way I could be pregnant.
"Lets just get this one." I said wanting to get this over with.
"You sure?"
"Yes. Positive. Now lets go, please."
We paid for it and left. The whole ride to her house, I couldn't stop thinking of the outcomes. What if I was pregnant? Would I be able to be a good mom? Would I be able to take care of it? Would Gerard leave me? I felt the tears well up in my eyes just thinking of my life without him. A few minutes later, we got to her apartment.
"Here." she said handing me the box with the tests.
"Good luck, Chris." She said while hugging me
"Thanks boo boo." I hugged her back
I walked into the bathroom, and opened the box.
Well, here goes nothing....
***Gerard's POV***
Chris and I walked around the park, with her hand in mine. It was now the beginning of November so the leaves were falling everywhere. We sat on the bench and The wind blew and the air got colder. So I wrapped my arms around her to keep her warm.
"You wanna go home? It's pretty cold out." I said
"Sure."
"Are you okay, Chrissi?"
"Uh yeah. Why?"
"Well I mean, you've been a bit....moody lately."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she said sternly
"I mean it's the truth. You haven't been yourself lately."
"How have I not been myself, Gerard?"
"Like one moment your happy, and the next you're completely pissed off!"
For the last few weeks, Chrissi's been extremely moody. She and I never used to get into fights, and now all of sudden, they've been happening at least every other day. Honestly I have no idea what's up. Maybe it has to do with Alice? But she would have said something if that was the case, so I doubt it.
"I'm not bipolar!" she yelled
"I never said you were bipolar, I'm just saying you need to calm the fuck down, and tell me what's wrong, because you are not acting like yourself at all!"
"Gerard, what am I doing wrong?"
"Chrissi, you're not doing anything wrong, just tell me whats up. I mean I don't get it, for the last two weeks you've been getting mad at me, and then all of a sudden, you love me! What the hell is going on?"
"Gerard, I don't know, okay?! I don't even know what you're talking about!!"
"Oh come on, stop the bullshit. Are you really trying to tell me that you haven't noticed your mood swings?!" Now I was getting even more annoyed
"Yes!! That's exactly what I'm telling you!"
"Chrissi, I've been dating you for nearly a year now, and you've never acted THIS moody. Come on, tell me whats wrong. Is it Alice?"
"No! Okay? I don't know what it is! Just leave me alone about it!"
"Chrissi I wanna help you! If something's wrong I wanna help!"
"Oh so now you wanna help!? Two minutes ago you were telling me what a bitch I've been for the past two weeks, and now all of a sudden you wanna 'help'? And your calling me moody?! Just fuck off, Gerard, okay?" she yelled. Her face was red with anger, and I could feel myself boil
"You know what? Walk yourself home. I'm fucking done." I walked away.
***Chrissi's POV***
I waited until he was gone to let the tears come rolling down my cold cheeks. I sat on the bench crying for a good 10 minutes. Was I really that moody? I decided to call Kyliee. She always helps me through every situation.
"Hey Boo Boo, what's up?" she said. We'v been calling each other "boo boo" ever since 8th grade.
"I have a problem." I said trying not to cry anymore.
"Uh oh. What happened?"
"Gerard and I got into a really big fight."
"Alright where are you?"
"The park"
"Okay, I'll come pick you up, and you can tell me everything in the car."
I waited on the bench for her to come for 5 minutes. She looked at me through the window with a reassuring smile, and I got in.
"Okay, Chris. Tell Dr. Kyliee what happened," she joked
I told her everything that happened.
"I don't know... Have I been moody?" I asked
She stared blankly at the steering wheel for a few seconds before answering.
"Well, I mean... Maybe a little. I'm sorry."
"Seriously!? How badly?!" I asked shocked
"Well, not too bad. But he's right, girl, you haven't been yourself lately."
"Oh god.. Now I feel terrible."
"Don't feel bad, Chris, it's fine. I mean you're a girl, we all get moody, what does he expect?"
I laughed and she started driving
"Wait, Chris?"
"Mhm?"
"There might be a reason for your mood swings."
"Okay....?"
"Uhm, well.. Have you done it lately?"
"Uh yeah.... Why?"
"Have you had morning sickness?"
"Kyliee, you- you don't think I'm pregnant do you?"
"Well... There's always that possibility. But answer the question."
I started to feel my heart beat out of my chest.
"Y-Yeah. Almost every morning. "
"Does Gerard know?"
"No.. It usually happens pretty early, like at 7am, and he's still asleep."
"Okay, Chris. It's time to buy you a pregnancy test."
"N-No! I can't be p-pregnant!"
"Shhh calm down. I'm not saying you are or you aren't. I'm just suggesting that you take a pregnancy test. We'll go to the store, and you can take the test at my place, okay?"
"O-Okay..."
We went to the nearest drug store, and went to the aisle that had the tests. Just looking at them made me want to throw up. I'm only 17! There's no fucking way I could be pregnant.
"Lets just get this one." I said wanting to get this over with.
"You sure?"
"Yes. Positive. Now lets go, please."
We paid for it and left. The whole ride to her house, I couldn't stop thinking of the outcomes. What if I was pregnant? Would I be able to be a good mom? Would I be able to take care of it? Would Gerard leave me? I felt the tears well up in my eyes just thinking of my life without him. A few minutes later, we got to her apartment.
"Here." she said handing me the box with the tests.
"Good luck, Chris." She said while hugging me
"Thanks boo boo." I hugged her back
I walked into the bathroom, and opened the box.
Well, here goes nothing....
OMG that was so sad when Gerard was begging for forgiveness :'(
1/11/14