“Are you fucking kidding me? New Vegas, of all places, fucking Vegas. I can’t even…” We stood in Kobra’s room, Party had his hand over my eyes like I’d never seen his brother naked before. Heh, the boy got lucky after all. Can’t call him a boy or kid anymore I guess.

“Just put some pants on before you start to rant. By the way, Kobra, we’re going. I’m not happy ‘bout it either, but that’s life. We’ve gotta go. No one else can fill in, and the war here is over.” Party said with a bitter taste staining his words. He really didn’t want to go, none of us did, but Doc promised this was going to have a greeter reward than Battery City.

Party removed his hand from my eyes as we heard the door behind us open and close. “’Bought time you got here Jetty old pal.” Party said with a smirk, fast change from his previous attitude of a pissed off Killjoy. “You missed Kobra being a stripper. Anyways, pack up your stuff and get ready to hit up the Nevada desert.”

“Um, okay, kind of happy I showed up late, if it means I skipped Kobra’s little ‘show’. Why are we going to Nevada, thought that was all dead man’s land?”

“Oh, it is. We’re part of the ‘New Vegas’ project now. Ready to get bloody?” Party was starting to worry me now; he went from bitching and moaning about this assignment to complete mad man, maniac ready to paint the walls red. Jet-Star didn’t seem to notice Party Poison’s maniac intentions starting to show. He stood there jaw hanging, staring with disbelief of what is happening.

The room was silent, besides from the grumbling coming from Kobra who was fighting a losing battle with his pants. Eventually ending up rolling off the bed with a thud, and low muffled “ow”. I laughed silently to myself staring at my feet; the silence was getting really awkward. I just didn’t know what to say to break the silence. Lucky for me, and the sanity left in the silent room, Jet finally spoke up.

“Well, it sucks, but I guess orders are orders. Right? Not like we have much of a choice. Just have to go there to help work around their zone, not like we’re actually part of the project.” There were a few nods and mumbles in agreement. Whenever Party gets into his “moods” to say, we rely on Jet to kind of sort things out, and right now that’s what was desperately required. “What makes New Vegas so bad anyways? It’s all rumors, doesn’t matter.”

“Jet’s right. We don’t actually know much about New Vegas, just the short stories Doc has told us around the fires. Anyways, they were probably made up. I mean, common! Zombies and Vampires?” I added, trying to lighten the mood and keep any conversation going.

“Then there was that one about the black hounds and a half werewolf!” Kobra added in, almost laughing at his previous fear of this assignment.

“And supposedly their leader over there, Shepherd, I believe he’s called, is this Hybrid that the enemy created, a supper soldier! It’s all kid stories, just to scare the little ones!” Jet was on the verge of crying from his laughter, so was Kobra and I; we couldn’t believe we fell for those childish horror stories.

“You know, I was actually waiting for him to say they fight on unicorns for Kobra Kid over here! Little something for him!” I was curled up laughing as Kobra threw his pillow at me yelling curses that I barely heard from over the laughter. Everyone was laughing, except Party. He sat alone on Kobra’s bed, looking out at the desert, the ocean of sand that lay unmoving before us. “Party, everything alright?”

“You guys are all taking this like a joke. Well, honestly, it’s not fucking funny!” Party snapped, standing to face me. I didn’t know how to respond. I do worry about Party; I worry about him a lot. After that drunken night a few months ago when everything was going south, and we thought we had lost. I can’t say we made love or anything, it was, well I was, just a stress release for him. Nothing special, but the feelings I felt for Party had changed. Now when I looked into his eyes, I didn’t just see the raging anger that was written out playing and simple. I could see the fear, the pain, and the much need comfort he was dying to receive.

I went to finally reply, but it seemed like Party already knew my intentions. He simply hung his head and shook it slightly side to side, before walking past me, Kobra, and Jet. Straight out of the room. Nobody went after him; times like these it was better to just leave Party Poison alone. Even though it was killing me inside to run after him. For now, and probably the rest of time, I’d have to contain myself and just go with it.

“Guys, as much as I hate it, we should probably get some sleep. Long drive, and god knows, a fucking long day. Need to be on full alert tomorrow.” Kobra spoke up, Jet sighed in agreement as I just nodded my head.

Jet-Star walked out before me, I was hesitant to actually stand up, “You know Ghoul…what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. See ya tomorrow.” And with that I bid Kobra a farewell before rushing down the short hallway locking myself in my room. My last glimpse at privacy. Can he fucking read minds, or was he just joking?

It was a drunk accident…it didn’t mean anything. Party was stressed, we were drunk, him more than me, and well things happened. Is it wrong for me to wish it wasn’t just an “incident”? Maybe, but still. I stood against my bedroom door, slightly throwing my head back just to beat some sense into my brain. All I was getting was a stupid migraine. Sighing, I quickly stripped to my underwear. Leaving my clothes in a cluttered mess on the floor. Right now I could’ve really cared less about the state of my room. I didn’t unpack from our last little “trip” to Battery City, so I was just going to go to sleep.

Sleep wasn’t coming to me. I had Party Poison on my mind, and the events from that night flashed through my mind like a vivid story. A perfect movie even. I got out of bed, shaking at the slight cold of the late night air as it braced my nearly naked frame. I didn’t plan on staying out in the cold air for too long though. I hot footed it over to my worn down suitcase that held my clothes. The zipper is a piece of shit, getting stuck every few inches, but eventually it opened to reveal my dirt covered clothes.

I moved my clothes around a little, pulling out some worn jeans and a dirt covered jacket. My clothes were the least of interest right now, as I tugged at the bottom of the case. It eventually shifted to reveal a red tattered bandanna. It was kind of silly that I had kept Party’s bandanna rather than give it back, but he believes he lost it anyways. No harm in keeping it for myself, just something for the memories.

I clutched it tightly as I crawled back into my worn old bed. As much as the squeaking annoyed me, it was better than sleeping out in the deserts, or in the Trans AM. Bed sucked, but it was better than what I had grown used to.

Pulling the old blanket up to my chest, I snuggled into Party’s bandanna. Slightly rubbing my face into it, picking up a smell, which was guaranteed to be Party Poison. Undeniably, Party Poison. This had become almost a habit of mine, needing him with me to fall asleep. There was a few scares where we thought we had lost, worse when we thought we had lost someone. It was a fear of mine, of ours that we had lost someone in our small group. Maybe that’s why Party was so upset when we were joking about this assignment. There has to be some truth behind those stories. I mean, why would Doc make the whole thing up? Maybe some of it, but, it couldn’t all be fiction.

Doc always hated talking about that zone, when he got back. Those stories were rare and far between being told. Maybe some things are better left unsaid, untold...just forgotten. He didn’t want to send anyone there in the first place, and he seemed to hate sending us there. If we don’t actually know how bad it is, how can we be afraid of it though?

I rolled onto my back staring at the ceiling for a while, before turning my head to look out the window. Watching as shadows of the moon danced across the desert. If we don’t know what is actually going on out there, how can we fear it? We should embrace that, shouldn’t we? Not necessarily knowing what is to be feared. Maybe that’s why we fear it. We fear not knowing, so we hide from it. We know what’s around us, and the outside becomes a terror of questions and fears. It’s the fear of fearing, that we fear. Right?

As these questions floated throughout my head, and answers slowly started to make sense, sleep finally started to come. The shadows dancing out on the deserts sand, on that ocean of sand. All becoming one giant shadow as my eyes began to flitter close. There may be something out there, but you just never know. Not till you get out there, and just go.

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