Shoot From the Hip, Aim For the Head
I'm Incomplete...I Get So Weak
"Ghoul! Allur sent a message saying-...on here?” Amber came into my room shortly followed by Revolver. I was sitting on the floor in nothing more than my boxers, while Dawn was on the bed rubbing lotion on my shoulder.
“Amber, honestly. Every time you see a guy in his underwear you think he’s having sex. We’re just chilling. Anyways, Ghoul has real nasty burn mark here, so I offered to lend some of my ointment. Not that weird.” Amber made an ‘o’ shape with her mouth before nodding. I just laughed, at the scene. Everyone here is good friends, teasing and goofing around with each other. Yet here we were, the new kids, who couldn’t make it two days without getting separated.
“As Amber was originally saying before her mind hit the gutter; Ӓllur should be back tomorrow morning. He sent notice saying that he got out of the Strip with Party, but he’s in no condition for a midnight run.” Revolver spoke up. It was good news that Ӓllur had Party, but the ending is what made my heart skip. I wasn’t expecting him to come out without a scratch, but I was hoping he’d of made it back in one night. “So yeah…talk to you guys later?”
Dawn and I nodded saying bye to Revolver as Amber took off down the hall chasing someone, yelling something along the lines of “Get your skinny ass back over here!” then there was moment of laughter from everyone as the yelling and foot chase carried on down the hall.
“I think Amber has a thing for Kobra.” Dawn said after the door closed and all that could be heard was the sound of Revolver’s footsteps going down the old hallway.
“Where do you get that from? She’s just watching him while he roams around. Just doing her job.” I said craning my neck to look at Dawn. He just shrugged, squirting some lotion in his palm.
“Actually, she volunteered to watch him. This is weird because Amber doesn’t get along well with mortals. She kind of hates people.” Dawn just went back to massaging the lotion into my burn mark. “How’d you get this anyway? It’s goes straight through you, yet you don’t even have a wound. Just the burn.” Dawn poked both ends of the wound, emphasizing his point.
“Tell you the truth I don’t remember. Just woke up one day and it was there. Why does Amber hate people though? She seems pretty nice…” I stared at the wall in front of me as Dawn worked the cold lotion into the burns.
“She hates people, because well...she still wants to be one. She had her life ripped away from her when she was little. She hates people for what she doesn’t have. Just as much as she hates the order for Dom and Fertile vampires. She’s against it; she just doesn’t want to believe any of this is true.” Dawn patted my shoulder signaling he was done, and scooted against the headboard on the bed. I got up and sat on the end.
“So she just hates because that’s all she has to do?” I fiddled with the sheets on the bed, before looking up at Dawn.“Her brother is a vampire too though…So what? Did they both get attacked or something?”
“He wasn’t born yet. There’s an eight year difference between her and Joey. Whatever happened they managed to save Joey once their mother died. Saving Joey somehow wasn’t a good thing...” Dawn trailed off slightly looking at the wall then back to me. “All I know is most of Amber’s hate is directed towards Shepherd.” I sat there trying to figure it all out. Amber seemed a bit rude when we first met, but that could’ve been just from the situation. When I met her the next day, she was fine, messing around with Kobra. Maybe Dawn was right, if she hates people so much, and hates the other vampires, maybe she does have a thing for Kobra.
“What if she does have a thing for Kobra?” It was an honest question. Amber hadn’t given me a reason to distrust her, but, I still felt the need to look out for my friend. She is a vampire after all. Dawn looked at me with a puzzled expression.
“What do you mean? Like would she do something, what if?”
“Yeah. Like would she change him into one?” I lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling.
“Probably not. Unless, well…unless he wants her to. I mean, if he loves her back, and they were to, you know…do it…she probably would then.” Dawn played with the sheets a little, a small blush forming on his face.
“So you’re saying if they were to fuck that she’d most likely change him then?” Dawn nodded slowly. “That’s royally fucked up. ‘Hey you were such a great fuck, I’m gonna bite your neck and change you into one of me so we can do it for eternity!’” Dawn started to laugh at my Amber impersonation.
“You’re going to hell man! That’s messed up.” Dawn was slightly shaking his head, laughing all the same though.
“Well! How else would it go down? Anyways, I don’t think Kobra is into that kinda thing.” I was still laughing when Dawn just shrugged his response. “Hey, Dawn…All joking aside, can I ask you a sorta personal question?” It was silent for a minute or two, when all the laughter died down.
“I guess…” Dawn’s response was more of a question then actual response.
“Who’d you lose? If you don’t mind me asking…Who’d you stop fighting for?” Dawn looked away from my gaze; I knew this question was a shot in the dark. I wasn’t really expecting an answer besides ‘Can we talk about something else?’ But he took a deep breath looking at me, into my eyes nodding. He pulled his knees up to his chest and took another breath.
“My son. My wife and my son. We were high school sweethearts I guess; she was just everything I ever wanted to find in a person. I was the geeky kid, never had a chance with her. Even my friends told me to get over myself, that I’d never have a chance. Well senior year came around, she was Prom Queen, and I was working the stands. Evidently she had had it with the jocks pushing me around, and well, after I had a full bowl of punch spilled on my head, well she asked me to come up on stage. I was already embarrassed beyond recognition, but I loved her. I went up on stage. She had me place my hands on her waist, her hands on my shoulder, and she kissed me to the beat.” Dawn was looking at the bed spread again, playing with the sheets, smirking lightly at the memory.
“We pissed off every jock in that room. Everyone in our year saw the beautiful girl with the perfect smile, kiss the lonely emo geek. We started dating after that, and eventually I proposed to her in the center of a Ruby Tuesdays to our favorite song. We were best friends, and always would be. Well a few years after we got married we decided we wanted a kid, and we had one. A little boy named Tyler. He was my life, my pride and joy. I couldn’t save her, couldn’t get my beautiful wife out of the desert alive, but I promised her, I would save Tyler. My last promise to her, I couldn’t even do…I couldn’t save my son.”
Dawn was crying by now, the man I thought who didn’t have a single tear left in his body was crying. I scooted closer to him, lightly hugging him as he nuzzled against my chest. “That’s how I ended up losing my ring fingers. They told me I could never love again, that I was failure. That I had lost everything, and they were going to make sure I remembered it. I still had my wedding ring on when they did it. I watched them do it, watched them cut straight threw the bone. And I cried when the metal band hit the ground ringing like the church bells he kissed to.” I only hugged him tighter to me. Whispering words of reinsurance that probably meant nothing.
We sat there, in that same position until we both fell asleep. I slept with memories of my family, my wife, my kids…my new baby boy, when it all ended. The memory was vivid, Gerard and Ray pulling me out of the rubble that was once my house. Tears streaking down my face, I was screaming at everything, kicking and punching my way out of their grip. I remembered Ray telling me we had to go; looking behind me to see a shacking and tattered Mikey, LynZ tear streaked holding a screaming Bandit. I remember yelling “I hate you” yelling it as loud as my voice would allow, as many times as my breath would carry it out. The bombs had just started to fall and I had already lost it all. I couldn’t imagine how it felt for Hallow.
~/~/~/~/~
I woke up a bit shaken. I was practically lying on top of Dawn, but he didn’t really seem to mind. He was humming a song, it sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it with a title. My head was on Dawn’s stomach and he was stroking my hair, humming away. I didn’t want to wake up but I knew I had to eventually.
“Remember what I told you? If you love him, you’ll never stop fighting for him? Promise yourself you won’t. Ghoul, your priorities will change out here like you wouldn’t believe. Each day something will be more valuable to you than the last. Promise yourself, that you won’t give up on him…that you’ll put him first.” I nodded, listening to Dawn breath. He wasn’t any different than me, were in the same position. He fought to keep his family alive, and he lost. Now he’s helping others get back on their feet, find that purpose to keep on living. “Ӓllur will be back in a few hours…don’t miss his arrival.”
“I don’t plan on it.” I yawned, wrapping my arm around Dawn’s waste snuggling closer into him. “What were you humming a bit ago? It sounded familiar.”
“I’d hope it did. It was Famous Last Words, Kristien’s favorite by you guys.” Dawn laughed slightly as I looked up at him. “She was always a kid at heart. You guys were her favorite band. Remember coming home a few times and she’d be lying on the couch with Tyler on her stomach. She’d have you guys blasting throughout the house, signing along.” He laughed again, and I just smiled. Dawn was someone different in these days. He was still holding onto what he could, he was staying alive as the man he was before this.
}{}{
“Amber, honestly. Every time you see a guy in his underwear you think he’s having sex. We’re just chilling. Anyways, Ghoul has real nasty burn mark here, so I offered to lend some of my ointment. Not that weird.” Amber made an ‘o’ shape with her mouth before nodding. I just laughed, at the scene. Everyone here is good friends, teasing and goofing around with each other. Yet here we were, the new kids, who couldn’t make it two days without getting separated.
“As Amber was originally saying before her mind hit the gutter; Ӓllur should be back tomorrow morning. He sent notice saying that he got out of the Strip with Party, but he’s in no condition for a midnight run.” Revolver spoke up. It was good news that Ӓllur had Party, but the ending is what made my heart skip. I wasn’t expecting him to come out without a scratch, but I was hoping he’d of made it back in one night. “So yeah…talk to you guys later?”
Dawn and I nodded saying bye to Revolver as Amber took off down the hall chasing someone, yelling something along the lines of “Get your skinny ass back over here!” then there was moment of laughter from everyone as the yelling and foot chase carried on down the hall.
“I think Amber has a thing for Kobra.” Dawn said after the door closed and all that could be heard was the sound of Revolver’s footsteps going down the old hallway.
“Where do you get that from? She’s just watching him while he roams around. Just doing her job.” I said craning my neck to look at Dawn. He just shrugged, squirting some lotion in his palm.
“Actually, she volunteered to watch him. This is weird because Amber doesn’t get along well with mortals. She kind of hates people.” Dawn just went back to massaging the lotion into my burn mark. “How’d you get this anyway? It’s goes straight through you, yet you don’t even have a wound. Just the burn.” Dawn poked both ends of the wound, emphasizing his point.
“Tell you the truth I don’t remember. Just woke up one day and it was there. Why does Amber hate people though? She seems pretty nice…” I stared at the wall in front of me as Dawn worked the cold lotion into the burns.
“She hates people, because well...she still wants to be one. She had her life ripped away from her when she was little. She hates people for what she doesn’t have. Just as much as she hates the order for Dom and Fertile vampires. She’s against it; she just doesn’t want to believe any of this is true.” Dawn patted my shoulder signaling he was done, and scooted against the headboard on the bed. I got up and sat on the end.
“So she just hates because that’s all she has to do?” I fiddled with the sheets on the bed, before looking up at Dawn.“Her brother is a vampire too though…So what? Did they both get attacked or something?”
“He wasn’t born yet. There’s an eight year difference between her and Joey. Whatever happened they managed to save Joey once their mother died. Saving Joey somehow wasn’t a good thing...” Dawn trailed off slightly looking at the wall then back to me. “All I know is most of Amber’s hate is directed towards Shepherd.” I sat there trying to figure it all out. Amber seemed a bit rude when we first met, but that could’ve been just from the situation. When I met her the next day, she was fine, messing around with Kobra. Maybe Dawn was right, if she hates people so much, and hates the other vampires, maybe she does have a thing for Kobra.
“What if she does have a thing for Kobra?” It was an honest question. Amber hadn’t given me a reason to distrust her, but, I still felt the need to look out for my friend. She is a vampire after all. Dawn looked at me with a puzzled expression.
“What do you mean? Like would she do something, what if?”
“Yeah. Like would she change him into one?” I lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling.
“Probably not. Unless, well…unless he wants her to. I mean, if he loves her back, and they were to, you know…do it…she probably would then.” Dawn played with the sheets a little, a small blush forming on his face.
“So you’re saying if they were to fuck that she’d most likely change him then?” Dawn nodded slowly. “That’s royally fucked up. ‘Hey you were such a great fuck, I’m gonna bite your neck and change you into one of me so we can do it for eternity!’” Dawn started to laugh at my Amber impersonation.
“You’re going to hell man! That’s messed up.” Dawn was slightly shaking his head, laughing all the same though.
“Well! How else would it go down? Anyways, I don’t think Kobra is into that kinda thing.” I was still laughing when Dawn just shrugged his response. “Hey, Dawn…All joking aside, can I ask you a sorta personal question?” It was silent for a minute or two, when all the laughter died down.
“I guess…” Dawn’s response was more of a question then actual response.
“Who’d you lose? If you don’t mind me asking…Who’d you stop fighting for?” Dawn looked away from my gaze; I knew this question was a shot in the dark. I wasn’t really expecting an answer besides ‘Can we talk about something else?’ But he took a deep breath looking at me, into my eyes nodding. He pulled his knees up to his chest and took another breath.
“My son. My wife and my son. We were high school sweethearts I guess; she was just everything I ever wanted to find in a person. I was the geeky kid, never had a chance with her. Even my friends told me to get over myself, that I’d never have a chance. Well senior year came around, she was Prom Queen, and I was working the stands. Evidently she had had it with the jocks pushing me around, and well, after I had a full bowl of punch spilled on my head, well she asked me to come up on stage. I was already embarrassed beyond recognition, but I loved her. I went up on stage. She had me place my hands on her waist, her hands on my shoulder, and she kissed me to the beat.” Dawn was looking at the bed spread again, playing with the sheets, smirking lightly at the memory.
“We pissed off every jock in that room. Everyone in our year saw the beautiful girl with the perfect smile, kiss the lonely emo geek. We started dating after that, and eventually I proposed to her in the center of a Ruby Tuesdays to our favorite song. We were best friends, and always would be. Well a few years after we got married we decided we wanted a kid, and we had one. A little boy named Tyler. He was my life, my pride and joy. I couldn’t save her, couldn’t get my beautiful wife out of the desert alive, but I promised her, I would save Tyler. My last promise to her, I couldn’t even do…I couldn’t save my son.”
Dawn was crying by now, the man I thought who didn’t have a single tear left in his body was crying. I scooted closer to him, lightly hugging him as he nuzzled against my chest. “That’s how I ended up losing my ring fingers. They told me I could never love again, that I was failure. That I had lost everything, and they were going to make sure I remembered it. I still had my wedding ring on when they did it. I watched them do it, watched them cut straight threw the bone. And I cried when the metal band hit the ground ringing like the church bells he kissed to.” I only hugged him tighter to me. Whispering words of reinsurance that probably meant nothing.
We sat there, in that same position until we both fell asleep. I slept with memories of my family, my wife, my kids…my new baby boy, when it all ended. The memory was vivid, Gerard and Ray pulling me out of the rubble that was once my house. Tears streaking down my face, I was screaming at everything, kicking and punching my way out of their grip. I remembered Ray telling me we had to go; looking behind me to see a shacking and tattered Mikey, LynZ tear streaked holding a screaming Bandit. I remember yelling “I hate you” yelling it as loud as my voice would allow, as many times as my breath would carry it out. The bombs had just started to fall and I had already lost it all. I couldn’t imagine how it felt for Hallow.
~/~/~/~/~
I woke up a bit shaken. I was practically lying on top of Dawn, but he didn’t really seem to mind. He was humming a song, it sounded familiar but I couldn’t place it with a title. My head was on Dawn’s stomach and he was stroking my hair, humming away. I didn’t want to wake up but I knew I had to eventually.
“Remember what I told you? If you love him, you’ll never stop fighting for him? Promise yourself you won’t. Ghoul, your priorities will change out here like you wouldn’t believe. Each day something will be more valuable to you than the last. Promise yourself, that you won’t give up on him…that you’ll put him first.” I nodded, listening to Dawn breath. He wasn’t any different than me, were in the same position. He fought to keep his family alive, and he lost. Now he’s helping others get back on their feet, find that purpose to keep on living. “Ӓllur will be back in a few hours…don’t miss his arrival.”
“I don’t plan on it.” I yawned, wrapping my arm around Dawn’s waste snuggling closer into him. “What were you humming a bit ago? It sounded familiar.”
“I’d hope it did. It was Famous Last Words, Kristien’s favorite by you guys.” Dawn laughed slightly as I looked up at him. “She was always a kid at heart. You guys were her favorite band. Remember coming home a few times and she’d be lying on the couch with Tyler on her stomach. She’d have you guys blasting throughout the house, signing along.” He laughed again, and I just smiled. Dawn was someone different in these days. He was still holding onto what he could, he was staying alive as the man he was before this.
}{}{
12/26/12