"Cassy? What? Why.... I-I have to tell Gee..." Frank began, but I cut him off.

"please, please... Don't..." I pleaded, looking down, tears began to fill my eyes. Frank stared at me in silence, mouth slightly agape. He let out a disappointed sigh.

"I have to Cassy," he said, closing his eyes and hugging me close, "c'mon,"

Frank dragged me back to the house, all while I was constantly trying everything to try and get him to change his mind about telling Gerard. Of course, to no avail. We reached the patio, and I stopped him. He turned to face me with tear stained eyes.

"I'm telling him, end of story," he snapped, I looked at him, shocked. Frank dragged me into the house. We walked into the kitchen, where we found Gerard. He was sitting at the table sipping coffee. When he saw us walk in, he gave me a big smile.

"good morning," he chirped. He looked over at Frank and read his expression, then his eyes traveled to my bare arms. His smile faded and he stood up.

"Care to explain?" Frank began, I looked down in an attempt to avoid their gaze.

"it's not what you think..." I whispered, unable to keep any other volume in my voice.

"then what is it? Huh? Cassy, we're only trying to help you,"

"maybe I don't want help... Maybe.... Maybe I just want this to happen? Who said you could control me in the first place?"

Frank looked shocked, then Gerard spoke up.

"Frank, would you mind leaving for a few minutes?" Gerard asked calmly. Frank nodded his head and left the room. He turned and walked over to me, wrapping me in a warm embrace.

"Cassy... I want to save you, more than you know. And I will whether you want me to or not," his words seeped into my mind. I pressed my face into his chest and allowed the anticipated sobs to rip through me like a hurricane. He kissed the top of my head and led me to my room. He sat me down on my bed and went to close the door. Gerard returned to the bed and pulled me onto his lap. I curled into him, he wrapped his arms around me.

"tell me, how'd you start?" he asked, I stopped crying long enough to tell him.

"it started when I first got into the system. My parents had died in a car crash, and my siblings had parished in a house fire a week later. I barely escaped. After bouncing around homes for a few months, everything seemed so unreal. Life was just... It was hard to hold on to, you know? Like, I never really knew if I was going to wake up the next day. I got really depressed, and started to develop a series of anxiety disorders. Specifically panic disorder, and social anxiety disorder. I fell even deeper into depression sometime around when I was twelve. I remember the night I started like it was yesterday... It was October, I was walking home from school when I was pushed into a puddle by some high schoolers, they dumped the contents of my backpack into the puddle as well. When I returned 'home' my foster parents beat me, saying that I needed to fight back. They left me in a broken mess on the floor. I needed something that would calm me down, so I cautiously grabbed my bag and searched for my pencil sharpener. I extracted the blade and studdied it. It was so graceful... In it's own deadly way... Like a black widow, or a thorn on a rose. I rolled up my sleeve and cut harshly into my arm... Oh god the rush! It felt so good... After that first cut... It was like a drug, and I couldn't stop... I can't stop. I'm addicted to it. I'm addicted to the pain. It's like the worlds most dangerous drug..."

I finished and sat in silence with Gerard. I looked up at him and saw that he was crying. I reached my hand up to wipe the tears from his cheek, his hand caught mine and held it to his face. Gerard looked me in the eyes.

"Cassy, you are going to stop. You hear me? As of now, you're going cold turkey," he stated, "give me your razor,"

I nodded my head and reluctantly got up from his loving hold and traveled to the closet. I walked in and located my tin, pulling out my razor. I held it up and studied it. It had grown dull from the many times I used it, it was tarnished and worn. No matter how ugly it might be, I needed it. It got me through so much, yet it dragged me down so far... Like a fake best friend. I gave a weary sigh and stood up, i walked out and sat back down on the bed. Gerard took my hand in his, and the razor along with it.

"you're free now," he said, kissing my forehead. I smiled slightly, and leaned my head on his shoulder.

"I feel free, like everything is okay now," I replied, and it was true. I feel like the weight of the world fell off my shoulder.

"I'm going to take care of this now, okay?"

I nodded my head, "Kay,"

Gerard left me alone in the room, I looked around. I should be angry, but I'm not. I should be crying, but I'm fine. No, I'm not fine, I'm numb. I layed down on my bed, closed my eyes, and waited for him. Just a few moments later I heard someone enter the room, and walk to the edge of the bed. I didn't bother to open my eyes until I felt their lips on mine. I was shocked at first, but just assumed it was Frank. I kissed back passionately, not wanting them to pull away. We continued moving our lips in synchronization for a few more moments then broke apart. I opened my eyes and looked at them.

"G-Gerard?" I questioned shakily, not who I had thought, by any means. He smiled in reply, the breath caught in my throat at his beauty. He pulled me up and off the bed. He stood infront of me, our bodies were pressed together. He touched his lips to mine once more, tangling his fingers in my hair. I kissed him back. Fuck Frank. Yeah, I love him, but I'm pretty sure I scared him off with the cutting. Gerard pulled away from me, and grabbed my hand, towing me downstairs.

"we have things to do today, we're going shopping!" he chirped with a sly smile. I groaned. Great, shopping.

Notes

hehe... things are kinda going where they should be now.... and yes, I know... update blah blah blah... but I have an excuse. I write this out on my ipod and ive been lacking inspiration and stuff... I know that's a piss-poor excuse, but its the truth. anyway, I want to humiliate myself on the internets with a cover of one of MCR's songs. I cant sing the best, and I would prefer to do something from revenge or black parade. I am going to let you guys choose. yes, my humiliation is in your hands, CHOOSE WISELY. please leave the song title in the comments below. the most requested song will be chosen, and the cover will be up sometime next week or the weekend following. (don't worry, I'll update by then and I'll leave a link, that is, if you guys even care)

so long and goodnight,
~katiekilljoy<4